Vent about this first step in finding out

I started getting tested to see why we weren't able to conceive so far after 7 years of no protection and a year of actively trying. First round of blood work done, fine. Did the second one today then was told I had to do a sonogram which NO ONE told me until today.

So I had to rush to get a prescription after my blood work, make an appointment to go get a sonogram later and then was informed I had to pee at a certain time, then drink 32oz to come in and get my belly squished. So i was later than a half hour at work to get this all done.

I come in and then i get the series of questions. Why are you going to the doctor so much - you know we are worried, etc. I explained that I am not going to the doctors very often it was only twice I had to come in a late but made up the time so there is no issue. However since I have to leave early today it became an issue. I have 5 weeks of sick time, 3 weeks of vacation and I am very annoyed that I am constantly questioned when I have something come up. Most of my co-workers with children have ZERO questions when "something comes up" and i get interrogated.

My fear is if i need further testing after this round, or a IUI or anything else what the heck am i going to do? I have to keep my sick time banked because that is my maternity leave. Any advice? I am up for a promotion and they keep saying that over and over again and I only came in late twice within a month and haven't been late for 4-5 months. I feel its sucks I can't just be honest but I think they will fire me or won't give me the promotion if I tell them.

Message edited 8/7/2012 11:31:29 AM.

Vent about this first step in finding out

It is def going to be hard to go for monitoring depending on what your work hours are...most RE's have hrs from 6:30-9:30AM so I dont know if you can work that around your schedule...when I was having IUI's I would be late to work since I start at 6:45 but my job is flexible...I hope you dont need IVF but with that you need even more time off...it really is none of their business to why you are taking off but maybe you can say that you have a health issue that you are being monitored for? I have never been questioned like that...Its such a hard place to be in since you dont want it to affect your job but with IF you are pretty much at the mercy of your body & RE's office...so sorry you are going thru this

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I ended up telling my boss bc I live on LI and work in the city. Are you seeing a RE? Why did you have to go elsewhere for a sono? I do all my appts before 730am in the Brooklyn office of rsony but my iui's are done at the stonybrook office On iui days I work from home since I usually go in at 640 but don't get out till 8am or so bc of the sperm washing and such. Do you have a closer RE to your job? Also I've also gone to a local lab at lunch time for bloodwork if I couldn't go bc of your RE's hours. Don't know if that's an option.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I am going next week for blood work but going super early so there is no reason to be late. Typically the sonogram tech is in the office but not on tuesday and today i got the clear to get it done. So I have to go to an actual sonogram place.

I work about 20 mins away from my house, doctor is only about 10 min drive in the opposite direction and the blood lab is about 5 mins so i am fortunate with that. I am not seeing an RE yet I go to southbay gyno in babylon (or west islip) and the doctors are "specialists" there as well. I am waiting to see what this first round says then proceed with figuring out who to go to next. I just hope I can find out if I can go earlier or later in the evening in the future for further monitoring so it doesn't interfere with my job.

Vent about this first step in finding out

i'm sorry your employer is giving you a hard time. i'm not sure but i don't think they can legally ask you WHY you are going to the doctor. if they have a sick/late policy that you are violating then they can address that but they can't ask why you go. like a PP said, maybe you could just tell them you have some "health issues" going on and it requires you to have frequent doctor appointments but that you don't anticipate the appointments interferring with your work productivity.

if you aren't seeing an RE yet, it may be worthwhile b/c they tend to do everything "in house" (blood, sonos, etc). and they sometimes have more early morning hours than ob's offices do.

sorry you had such a crappy morning!

Vent about this first step in finding out

Are you seeing an RE? I know some gyn's think they are specialists but they are not...I wasted 2 months at my gyn when...plus seeing and RE you have everything in one locations...I would highly recommend seeing an RE if you are doing ANY IF treatments

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I am sorry your job is so nosey.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I fm'd you about the nightmare experience I had with Southbay. Search for my past posts and you'll see how bad it was. They are in no way shape or form specialists get to a RE. I wasted months dealing with them and it's one of my biggest regrets.

Vent about this first step in finding out

Please see an re! I got the testing done at south bay too! You are much better off seeing an re!

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I ended up telling my boss since was asking if everything was ok. It turned out to be a good thing I did because she was understanding. Try just telling them it's a non life threatening medical issue you are seeing a dr for.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

My RE starts sonograms at 6:45am and the lab which is in the office opens at 7am. I make it a point to be there first and luckily I can get in and out by 7:30 and rush to be at work at 8am.

I never had to tell anyone what I was doing and I have been doing this for 5 years. Like you I was afraid they would hold it against me.

It doesn't sound like you could have a heart to heart with your boss, if you want a promotion telling them you are actively trying to get pregnant may not be a good thing.
If you think that there is no way you will eventually get to an RE with earlier office hours and you will need to be late alot to work, I would look into your companies policy on FMLA. You could get a note with a set period of time you will need appointments and this would give you job protection. Your companies HR department would have to keep the doctors note confidential - not even your boss would know why you have FMLA only that it was approved. They wouldn't be allowed to write you up/discriminate against you.

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Ultimately it is your issue and you don't have to share it with anyone if you don't want to, although that is hard not to do. Sounds like your co workers are super nosy - but saying it's because they "care". Ugh

HTH and Good Luck!

Message edited 8/7/2012 6:48:44 PM.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Do i call to make an appointment with RE or do i need my gyno to refer me?

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Check your insurance. Usually they have an in network provider list (usually on a website). If your insurance allows you to see any doctor you like without a referral your golden. Just pick someone in network.

If your insurance makes you have a referral you will need to get it from the OB/GYN. If you have been not "not trying" for 7 years and haven't got pregnant chances are you will need the help of an RE.

You could always call your insurance company and ask what is required before seeing an RE. Also check into how much infertility benefit you have so you will know how much money you are working with. I had 25K and it was blown after 4 IUI's and 1 IVF. It is sad that all insurance companies don't allow for unlimited infertility treatments.

I know this seems like a lot right now....once you get things all squared away and get into your routine...this all becomes more predictable and like clockwork.

Hang in there!

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Ty hopefully i can get the referral. i am fairly confident i need one.

Any RE recommendations near Lindenhurst/Babylon/Farmingdale area?

If this will be costing anymore then a few hundred then we will not be having children. I am working two jobs as is to barely make ends meet and DH still isn't getting much in OT.

Message edited 8/7/2012 7:21:39 PM.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

One step at a time, first see how much your insurance covers. They will at least usually cover a work up to try and get you diagnosed.

There are always ways...please dont stress about it yet. First thing is getting worked up to figure out where you are at.

Many very generous women have donated meds on this board and you can look for things like studies where everything is covered. There is always a way if you want to go down this road. Just take one step at a time.

I am in Charlotte NC and I only started my treatment after moving down here so I can't help with recommendations but I am sure some LI ladies can help you.

Vent about this first step in finding out

Call your insurance co. to find out what protocol is. I go to rsony but testing is done in stonybrook and Mineola. The ins co can direct you in the right direction.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

yea i seem negative sorry - it was rough today with my job then the sonogram tech scared me.

she was doing the sonogram and asking me if i was diagnosed with any endro problems and i said no the doctors. She made a face. Then I didn't know i was getting the wand up me and i was horrified and after then after that she said she wanted to do more of a sonogram and she looked at me with a look that i can only describe as not good. I never had a sonogram tech do that (i have a few sonograms done because of what i thought was kidney issues but was nothing) so i am not feeling to good right now

Plus dh won't do his sperm test because he doesn't want to ruin his weekend. I am about to get into it with him over that.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Vent about this first step in finding out

I am also sending you an FM about SouthBay. Please see an RE

Vent about this first step in finding out

I am sorry your work is being so difficult. I had to be late to work a bunch of times for monitoring because I have very specific, inflexible work hours. Luckily, I was able to get someone to cover for me and my boss was very accommodating. All I told him was I needed to go to the doctor. He must have thought I was dying since I had never taken a day off in 4 years before that time.

I agree with the other posters, who said to go to an RE. I needed a referral and the ObGyn wrote one no questions asked (of course we were dealing with MFI due to chemotherapy so they knew there was nothing they could do to help us). Also most insurance plans allow you to back date the referral 90 days so make a consultation appointment ASAP as it can take 3-4 weeks. Also - REs have much better monitoring hours and everything is on site.

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

So sorry that you have to go through this..people at my job thought I was dying because of all my appointments, so I gave in and told my boss, it just made it easier. But i understand not wanting to do that if it could affect your job. Once at an RE, it is easier because everything is done in one shot..in and out. Good luck!

Re: Vent about this first step in finding out

I definitely recommend you going to an RE, you are able to have bloodwork and sonograms done there in one shot, usually early in the am prior to work. My boss knew what was going on and I always let them know that I may be a few mins late some mornings. Thankfully they were always okay with it. Your first step should be to go to an RE. They will tell you from there what the next step will be..monitoring for you and sperm analysis for DH. I always though I had the issues and never thought it was DH until he had the SA done and we realized what we were up against. It isn't about ruining a weekend, its about finding out whats going on. If you ever have any questions you can always FM me! I have been through it all! but start with an RE!