| Posted By |
Message |
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Why are we pessimistic?
I've noticed that we've all taken a dab into pessimism... you know the "I BD'ed every day this month, but I'm not optimisitic this month" comment... I'm no angel myself either, but it bothers me that we're all trying, yet we still feel that we won't get that BFP.
Everything happens for a reason, and though there's statistically only 25% a month chance to get pg, doesn't mean that we won't. I'm a huge believer in optimism (it DOES heal!), and good things happen to positive people.
Here's to keeping positive thoughts! 
{{{POSITIVE VIBES = BFP RESULTS}}}
PS: I hope I don't get slammed for this...  , I truly mean well. 
|
Posted 7/5/05 2:33 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Oh I am optimistic, just out of commission still!! But I am like you, the glass is half full. I guess it is hard to keep a positive outlook tho if you have been trying for a while.
But here are more positive vibes goin' out to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 2:38 PM |
| |
|
MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
I think sometimes it just all catches up with us. I get in to a funk every now and then and then I shake it off and move on. 
I don't know how I feel about this month yet but I'm looking forward to starting IUI next month...so I'm feeling pretty good.
I decided to focus more on weight loss this month and put TTC second.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 2:38 PM |
| |
|
DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
it's a defense mechanism. Better to be prepared for a BFN and if it's a BFP...well than that's just a nice pleasant surprise.
Thats my m o at least.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 2:46 PM |
| |
|
luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
I think for me....I'm always a let's see what happens when the time comes person...I hate when DH freaks about something we don't know the answer to...but when it comes to TTC...it's out of my control. I hate to not be in control. I feel at a loss....why am I having such trouble, woe is me kinda thing. Part of me is kicking myself in the arse for not starting down the TTC road earlier thinking we wouldn't have any trouble. I spent all those years trying not to get PG...and look at all the time I wasted 
|
| Posted 7/5/05 2:55 PM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
For me personally, its just 'easier' to have low expectations and not build up any hopes of a BFP ... its a better way for me to cope with month after month of irregularity and not success in conceiving
DOnt get me wrong, I AM hopeful I will be PG someday and I DO still really psych myself up for it every month .. but its so much easier to be pleasantly surprised when I have NO expecatations than be constantly disappointed with high expectations - at least that's the way I handle it.. (maybe not the BEST way, but it does work for me!)
|
| Posted 7/5/05 2:56 PM |
| |
|
ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
I agree with Deb and Felicia, I'd rather be pleasantly surprised and expect the worst but hope for the best of course.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:02 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
How about hoping for the best, AND being pleasantly surprised when it happens? I think that regardless if you try to convince yourself that you probably didn't do enough & shouldn't expect the BFP at the end, we're all as disappointed regardless.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:08 PM |
| |
|
Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
I was a poster that mentioned "I'm not optimistic this month" and truthfully I"m not. It's partly a defense mechanism and it's partly reality - I have a blocked tube and a high FSH, so odds for me are significantly lower....
My hat goes off to LisaW, Diane and Deb (right now they are the only ones I can think that have been TTCing a while - this can be very draining (physically & emotionally) and you are very strong....
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:10 PM |
| |
|
DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by Lichi
How about hoping for the best, AND being pleasantly surprised when it happens? I think that regardless if you try to convince yourself that you probably didn't do enough & shouldn't expect the BFP at the end, we're all as disappointed regardless.
Honestly, I tried that...maybe in year one...maybe it was somewhere in year two of trying, I really have lost track over the last 28 cycles.
I will continue to use my defense mechanism because it works for me.
I support whatever method helps people get through it, I may not understand it but i support it.
Donna- You are strong as well. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:16 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by Lichi
How about hoping for the best, AND being pleasantly surprised when it happens? I think that regardless if you try to convince yourself that you probably didn't do enough & shouldn't expect the BFP at the end, we're all as disappointed regardless.
I try to be this way, but it does get hard.
Part of me wonders if I'm not creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of "it's going to be negative" and then my body is responding in kind.
But for the first few months I was soooo optimistic and sure that each month was "our month" and it started to wear on me more and more that it wasn't happening.
I agree with Deb, it's become a defense mechanism for me.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:17 PM |
| |
|
DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by leighla
But for the first few months I was soooo optimistic and sure that each month was "our month" and it started to wear on me more and more that it wasn't happening.
Exactly! I felt like those months were I was so optimistic hurt much more than my realistic approach does now.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:20 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Sorry guys... I was being insensitive to how long some of you have been trying.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:20 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by Lichi
Sorry guys... I was being insensitive to how long some of you have been trying.
I didn't take it as insensitive at all - I love the thought behind your post - maybe if we were more positive we would be better off.
I'm just not in that place anymore.
Realism rules!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:25 PM |
| |
|
Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by Lichi
Sorry guys... I was being insensitive to how long some of you have been trying.
I didn't take it as insensitive either, I just wanted you to know why I feel that way, and that's what gets me through each month...
Deb -thanks for your kind words!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:28 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
I hope you guys don't have to think twice about how to continue with defense mechanism, and just get your BFP!!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:31 PM |
| |
|
DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by Lichi
and just get your BFP!!!
I hope WE ALL get BFP's and SOON!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:45 PM |
| |
|
MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by leighla
But for the first few months I was soooo optimistic and sure that each month was "our month" and it started to wear on me more and more that it wasn't happening.
Yes, I agree Lauren!! 100%
This is month 10 TTC for us...it's hard
Message edited 7/5/2005 3:51:10 PM.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:50 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by DebG
Posted by Lichi
and just get your BFP!!!
I hope WE ALL get BFP's and SOON!
Me too!!! I'm ready for a big wave of graduating TTC'ers to move to the baby board!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:52 PM |
| |
|
Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
First of all, I want to say that this thread is actually heartwarming. You can feel the affection and respect everyone has developed.
Secondly, I have to agree...after trying for over a year now, it's less "depressing" to expect a - and if there is a + WHHOOOPEEEE!!!
I know I was totally surprised at my attitude this month cuz I thought I was going to be depressed when I got a -, but I was actually okay with it and my frame of mind is...okay now onto next month!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:53 PM |
| |
|
karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Oh jeez I am just hoping to see TBAF some time real soon!! Then I will be happy...for a while, anyway!!
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:53 PM |
| |
|
MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Yes as much as I love this board and you ladies...I've been sitting here for so long I'm starting to collect dust 
10 months and counting....lucky #11 for me maybe?
BABY DUST to everyone. I hope we can all move together to the PG boards.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:55 PM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by DebG
Posted by Lichi
and just get your BFP!!!
I hope WE ALL get BFP's and SOON!
Amen to that!! 
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:55 PM |
| |
|
casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
Posted by karacg
Oh jeez I am just hoping to see TBAF some time real soon!! Then I will be happy...for a while, anyway!!
For those of you waiting for AF- let her get here and leave quickly- for those of you in the 2ww- lots of dust so you can move on to a happy nine months! 
|
| Posted 7/5/05 3:58 PM |
| |
|
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
|
Re: Why are we pessimistic?
After almost a year, I can't help but feel a little pessimistic  And I am usually so optimistic. I just feel like when it is THE month, I will just know. And there will be no doubt in my mind.
|
| Posted 7/5/05 4:00 PM |
| |
|
