New Boss Woes

I have a new boss at work (my old boss was fired). In some ways new boss is great (very appreciative of our work, very pro-staff development, etc)... Anyway, the problem is, he has been emailing me all hours of the night expecting a response! He is also pressuring me to take classes for Professional certifications that I don't have time to do (I have a Dh that works opposite hours & is in the military reserves so I am often alone with my kids - ages 2&3).

I don't know how to tell him (nicely) to back off. Although he is new and has something to prove, I have been there for 7 years & am fairly comfortable where I am. Especially with my 2 DC so young, now is not the time in my life for me to be a go-getter. I know that sounds terrible but my job is a job, my children are my life & are only young once..

Help! Has anyone been in a similar position?

Message edited 1/23/2013 7:59:24 PM.

Re: New Boss Woes

I think you need to just NOT answer messages sent AFTER work hours.

As far as classes, I WAS in similar situation and my job was paying for the classes so heck YEAH I took them!!! Free education? Sing me UP!

New Boss Woes

My phone is turned off after hrs but I would take the classes especially if they are paid for. They may not help you not but they may down the line. I'd sign up for 1 and see how you like it.

New Boss Woes

Does your job pay for your phone? If so, a lot of jobs look at it that since they pay for it, they do expect you to be more available.

As for classes, I would take them if your company will pay for them. Who knows what could happen, and in this economy, if layoffs are being considered, you don't want to be seen as unmotivated or "lazy"

ETA: If your job doesn't pay for your phone, then you might just try not answering, and then almost laughing it off with the new boss, saying something like "sorry I didn't get back to you until this morning, with 2 small kids at home it's hard for me to have time to email at night!"

Message edited 1/17/2013 7:29:23 AM.

Re: New Boss Woes

Thanks ladies. Well, the classes are to sit for Professional certification exams (CPA) & are very long (4 hours per class twice weekly for about 8 months). I wouldn't be able to do it during the workweek so that leaves nights & weekends to fit in an additional 8 hours of school plus homework and study time (I've read to add another 8 hours per week for studying from people that have taken the course). I know I need to do it, but taking this on while working full time with a 2 year old and 3 year old is probably going to put me over the edge. I guess I can start it, see how bad it is and go from there...

Re: New Boss Woes

I would probably sit down and have a discussion with him about the expectations of the job.

I know my boss has a similar approach (minus taking the class thing), but while he may email me after hours to my work device, he has never expected me to get back to him until the next business day. (On occasion I do because it's not really an inconvenience, honestly).

HE is a workaholic and super busy in the day, so at night is often his time to get back to me with stuff via email.

I do want to indicate that he also came in and cleaned up a lot from people who were "too comfortable", but in a BAD way.

He makes it known too, that if you can't get your work done during regular business hours, then yes, you need to stay until it's done (or go home and do it)---regardless of personal situation. (Note: this is directed generally at people who are bad at time management, schmooze all day instead of focusing on their tasks, etc.).

As a result, now we are the largest program that does what we do in the state and have an overall amazing team, many who are passionate about their work and will sometimes be willing to work "after hours", so I have to give him kudos for creating that kind of work ethic.

There are some people in my agency right now that have major beef with this, but that's their issue honestly. I have reflected on them previously here (mostly old timers who are resistant to change, who either need to $hit or get off the pot).

Not saying this is at all what is going on with you personally, but wanted to offer up a different perspective.

It is definitely tough to balance all these things, being a parent.

I have been saying for years now that I am going to take my licensing exam but keep putting it off. Now I use my kid as my excuse.

Message edited 1/17/2013 7:40:27 AM.

Re: New Boss Woes

Sameinitials- no, my job doesn't pay for my phone.

My old boss was fired for abusing the expense reimbursement policy, not laid off, so I'm not really fearful of being "cut".

I don't understand how I could be viewed as lazy if I am great at my job, go above and beyond on most assignments and get excellent performance reviews. Because I don't want to fill my off hours with work related professional development that was never a condition of my employment?

Re: New Boss Woes

Re: New Boss Woes

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by Lucky09

Sameinitials- no, my job doesn't pay for my phone.

My old boss was fired for abusing the expense reimbursement policy, not laid off, so I'm not really fearful of being "cut".

I don't understand how I could be viewed as lazy if I am great at my job, go above and beyond on most assignments and get excellent performance reviews. Because I don't want to fill my off hours with work related professional development that was never a condition of my employment?

Who has said you were lazy?

Has he clearly said that these are the expectations (attending things on off hours).

This is why I stand by what I originally said about sitting down and talking to him.

I've seen people get fired up at work (I've even done it myself) about things they are expected to do at work, when if followed up on clearly, that is not the case.

Message edited 1/17/2013 8:24:58 AM.

Re: New Boss Woes

Posted by sameinitials

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by Lucky09

Sameinitials- no, my job doesn't pay for my phone.

My old boss was fired for abusing the expense reimbursement policy, not laid off, so I'm not really fearful of being "cut".

I don't understand how I could be viewed as lazy if I am great at my job, go above and beyond on most assignments and get excellent performance reviews. Because I don't want to fill my off hours with work related professional development that was never a condition of my employment?

Who has said you were lazy?

Has he clearly said that these are the expectations (attending things on off hours).

This is why I stand by what I originally said about sitting down and talking to him.

I've seen people get fired up at work (I've even done it myself) about things they are expected to do at work, when if followed up on clearly, that is not the case.

I guess she is referring to where I said that she doesn't want to be seen as "unmotivated or 'lazy'" - of course, I never said that she WAS lazy, just meant that if the boss is strongly encouraging professional development that means that it is something he values, and an employee's refusal to partake could be construed as that employee being unmotivated or "lazy." Generally speaking, in many cases an employee who is thought of as more of a go-getter could be thought of as more valuable than someone who stays status quo.

I do agree that sitting down with him is a good idea, not in a confrontational manner, but more in a "now that you've had some time to settle in, I'd like to discuss my job performance and your expectations"

Re: New Boss Woes

As others have said, you need to sit down with your boss and explain that after work hours are your own time, and unless something is direly urgent, you will take care of it the following day at work.
If he's calling your cell phone, turn it off at night.

About the certification classes, what if you make a compromise with him explainly that your children are fairly young, but once they start school in a
few years, you can start school as well. And then follow thru with it. It will be to your advantage to continue your education.

Re: New Boss Woes

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by sameinitials

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Posted by Lucky09

Sameinitials- no, my job doesn't pay for my phone.

My old boss was fired for abusing the expense reimbursement policy, not laid off, so I'm not really fearful of being "cut".

I don't understand how I could be viewed as lazy if I am great at my job, go above and beyond on most assignments and get excellent performance reviews. Because I don't want to fill my off hours with work related professional development that was never a condition of my employment?

Who has said you were lazy?

Has he clearly said that these are the expectations (attending things on off hours).

This is why I stand by what I originally said about sitting down and talking to him.

I've seen people get fired up at work (I've even done it myself) about things they are expected to do at work, when if followed up on clearly, that is not the case.

I guess she is referring to where I said that she doesn't want to be seen as "unmotivated or 'lazy'" - of course, I never said that she WAS lazy, just meant that if the boss is strongly encouraging professional development that means that it is something he values, and an employee's refusal to partake could be construed as that employee being unmotivated or "lazy." Generally speaking, in many cases an employee who is thought of as more of a go-getter could be thought of as more valuable than someone who stays status quo.

I do agree that sitting down with him is a good idea, not in a confrontational manner, but more in a "now that you've had some time to settle in, I'd like to discuss my job performance and your expectations"

Yes, that is what I was referring to. I'm sorry if my tone was off... It wasn't meant in a snooty way towards you, but in a "do you really think they could pull that" way towards my employer? But you are right, I have seen others viewed as unmotivated because they didn't want to go to school to pursue a degree. But I have a BA and my MBA. Spent $$$ and much of my 20's in school, built up my career in my 30's working 80 hour weeks and many weekends and wanted to take time (not workday time but personal time) to spend with my children while they are still young. It is sad to me that my employer is basically strong arming me into doing something for them on my off hours (be it emailing or classes or whatever).

Re: New Boss Woes

I would talk to him. I would not advise sitting for the cpa exam when you have 2 young kids.

I would say to him you appreciate his encouragement on you getting your license and it is something you are thinking about in the future, but right now you don't have the proper time to dedicate to studying in addtion to the classes so you wouldn't want to waste anybody's money on the classes until you can give it the attention it deserves.

Good Luck

Re: New Boss Woes

As far as the emails after hours thing, I think a non-confrontational conversation is the best approach, rather than going in stating off the bat that after hours is your own time and you will deal with requests in the morning. You may be able to get the clarification/results you want on this without throwing down the gauntlet on this and risk coming across as not a team player or someone who won't go the extra mile.

As someone else said, your boss may just like to send out emails at night to clear his own plate but not really expect you to respond or do any work on his request until morning. I know when I practiced law at a large firm, I got emails all day and night from higher ups. Many of them just sent things out to get it off their own mind, knowing I would take care of it in the morning. Sometimes, yes, there were urgent things that needed to be dealt with (I had clients in different time zones and stuff like that), but I am sure you can distinguish between an urgent, time-pressed request (if that even comes up in your job) and something that can wait til morning.

If you go in to have a discussion with your new boss and say something like, "I just wanted to clarify a few things with you, so we make sure we get off on the right foot and I understand your expectations. I noticed you've been sending me some emails in the evening. When are you expecting a response? Am I right to assume that if it's not urgent, it is ok to get back to you in the morning?" And see what he says. He may surprise you and say it's totally fine.

And if he says he does expect you to be available after hours to answer emails, then you can have a discussion about how that was not previously part of your job and maybe work out a compromise so that you don't feel your home time is infringed upon but he still feels like he is getting what he needs. Maybe it is a short-term thing during his transition, for example.

And he will appreciate your initiative and professinalism in asking/raising the issue in a constructive way. I think raising the issue at least shows you care about your job, versus just not answering the emails and not acknowledging the issue (or demanding that he not email you off-hours).

I think if you make a good first impression, even if that means putting in a bit more effort upfront, it will probably pay off in the long run and your boss will be more flexible with you and willing to work around what you want to do. But if you make the wrong impression, he may always assume the worst and be less willing to cut you any slack (not to say you are not willing to do your job, but you know what I mean). I've seen it happen so many times!

Re: New Boss Woes

Thanks everyone, especially Christine!, for such great advice.

In the effort of making the good "first impression", I took home a ton of work this weekend and went into work on Friday with my 2yo for a few hours when I was supposed to have a vacation day (had no choice but to bring him so he sat in my office with me with the door closed) and also took a conference call from my car.

Maybe this is the norm with every job now, but mine wasn't like this before (at all) and to be honest, a better home-work balance was the main reason I left public accounting and went into the private sector.

I just worry that by working like this now, I am setting the tone for the future.

I am going to be sending out a few resumes, if only to make myself feel better, lol.

eta: I am going to look into the classes and perhaps look into starting them... My DH is deploying with the military soon, so I just worry that if I start, I may not be able to finish (you lost parts to the CPA certification if you do not complete it all within an 18 month timeframe). I probably should've brought that up to my boss but it isn't confirmed that he is going, and honestly, I didn't want to come across as that person who was constantly complaining about their home life or using it as an excuse.

As far as the emails, texts, and phone calls off hours, I'm not sure what else I can do but respond. He has my cell phone number and I feel like I just can't continuously ignore issues that arise and questions he has, even if they are on Friday night.

Message edited 1/20/2013 8:39:11 AM.

Re: New Boss Woes

Posted by Lucky09

As far as the emails, texts, and phone calls off hours, I'm not sure what else I can do but respond. He has my cell phone number and I feel like I just can't continuously ignore issues that arise and questions he has, even if they are on Friday night.

Re: New Boss Woes

New Boss Woes

Thanks everyone. I have been up until 3am for the past two nights working. He fills my days with meetings and "busywork" so I don't have any time to spend on large projects. I'm preparing for another late night tonight because I have a deadline on Tuesday and am worried about meeting it. It is hard for me to work weekends because my DH works his 2nd job then and I am alone with my 2 & 3 yo. I just don't know how much longer I can do this :(

I have a meeting with him tomorrow and he told me that I am required to bring the CPA review class information and schedule to him.

Re: New Boss Woes

I am a CPA so I can tell you the CPA exam + 2 small kids + out of town DH is a TOUGH combo.

Since you are in private I am not sure why he is so adamant about you having your CPA? If it was not required before, why is it required now??

And working until 3am is just not acceptable, I am so sorry he is putting you in this position.

Re: New Boss Woes

Wow. I am speechless with your update.

I hate to say it, but is there anything going on there where you think they/he may be trying to make your job unpleasant so you quit?

I know of some people that went through similar because they were high up and paid well, and they knew they could replace them with younger people (or in some cases one person) for a lot less.

Sending you strength when you meet with him.

Re: New Boss Woes

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

Wow. I am speechless with your update.

I hate to say it, but is there anything going on there where you think they/he may be trying to make your job unpleasant so you quit?

I know of some people that went through similar because they were high up and paid well, and they knew they could replace them with younger people (or in some cases one person) for a lot less.

Sending you strength when you meet with him.

Re: New Boss Woes

Good luck today. What time's your meeting?

2 of my SILs are accountants. One left public for private for the same reasons you listed, and she has several small children.

Recently she took another job though and while she hasn't said it to me, I suspect she may be going through similar stuff.

She is a "controller" though for a major NYC-international based company.

It's so tough to find jobs these days that offer a good work/family balance.

Re: New Boss Woes

Message edited 1/23/2013 7:59:10 PM.

Re: New Boss Woes

Well, I'm glad to hear it went somewhat good.

How do other people feel about him?

It really sounds like the expectation from him is that you have to take work home.