My first time here....

So, I just got back from the drs a couple hours ago. I should be 12w1d today and the baby had no heartbeat and was measuring 9w1d. I'm in complete shock. I have a d&c tomorrow morning.

Any words of advice, anything to expect from the d&c? And any hope for the future?

I feel broken.

Re: My first time here....

I’m so sorry for your loss!
I had a miscarriage in 2011, but didn’t have a d&c – so I have no advice on that.
Just wanted to say that I know how much it sucks and we are all here for you.

Re: My first time here....

I have no advice, I had a natural mc. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss

My first time here....

I had a missed-miscarriage in 2011 & was shocked...completely shocked. it was before 12w. the D&C is scary and very emotional but it was not as bad as I thought. I had a great Dr and the staff was nice. I just wanted it over and wanted to go home and just sleep for a week hoping I was having a bad dream. I was in hospital for maybe 4hrs. No pain. Just a broken heart. It took a while to get my system back on track and we decided to try again. It took months get pregnant again. Im still very nervous but have faith it will work out. Please dont give up. I wish you lots of luck and I'm so sorry your going through this.. many {{{{{hugs}}}} to you. you will be ok.

My first time here....

So sorry for your loss. I had 2 missed miscarriages in 2008 & 2009, so I understand the shock and loss you are feeling. The d&c is more emotional than anything else. You are put under and won't feel a thing.

There is most definitely hope for the future - I went on to have 2 beautiful, healthy babies and I know you will too!

Re: My first time here....

I am so sorry

My first time here....

I am so sorry. I had a similar experience last year. The surgery was not painful physically, no recovery issues, but emotional is of course another story.

Re: My first time here....

So sorry for your loss! I had a very similar situation. I should have been 12w2d and went for my NT sonogram. My husband had to work so I went alone. The room was dead silent and the sonographer just kept pushing the probe around saying she couldn't see well. She put on the "heartbeat" part and all I heard was dead silence. It was deafening. I cried hysterically and was totally devastated. The baby measured 11weeks so it happened not that long before.

I had no spotting or anything so it came as a complete shock to me. I had a D&C 4 days later. When I went for my pre-op appointment the day before the D&C, I asked for a 2nd opinion sonogram. I just needed to make sure that the baby was gone before I had the surgery. That 2nd sonogram helped me feel comfortable with my decision for the surgery as I still had not started to bleed, but knew for sure the baby was gone.

I cried for several days straight and couldn't eat. But day by day, things got a little easier. It seemed the more I confided in people, everyone seemed to have their own story of loss and was very sympathetic. Then about 5 weeks after after D&C, I got my period and cried for a day straight.

I just got my 2nd period after D&C today. I am in a more optimistic place, and we are going to try TTC again this month.

It is not easy, but will get easier. **HUGS** stay strong and don't feel bad asking for support/help if you need it.

ETA: The actual recovery from D&C was fairly easy. I only took the day after D&C off from work.

Message edited 2/15/2013 8:14:33 PM.

Re: My first time here....

I am so sorry!

My first time here....

thanks so much for everyones stories and advice... I'm SO sorry that everyone of us is here and every story is devastating. Its not 4 days since my D&C and I find myself not wanting to try and be happy because my sick head says that means "I'm ok without my baby".. I know it sounds stupid but its where I'm at. I guess I just can't wait to be pregnant again. Blows my mind I was this week and I'm not anymore.. even though the baby wasn't alive.. ugh, the whole thing is so messed up. And its even more scary how common it is. =/ thanks for listening to me.

My first time here....

I know the feeling :( I too was not allowing myself to be happy in the beginning. I simply didn't WANT to be happy. That feeling will fade but it never TRULY goes away. I am happy now for the most part but still have moments... I've been feeling a little down after getting so many BFNs and now that I'm approaching my due date and people I talked to on the pregnancy boards are starting to have their babies, it's bumming me out...All you can do is take it one day at a time. ((hugs))