sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Let me start out by saying that I am posting this here because I know how supportive the ladies here are, and I have noone else to turn to. I cannot be 100% sure that none of the people in my life would stay quiet, and I am deeply ashamed. I truly hope that I will not offend anyone with my question/situation, and if I do, I offer my deepest apologies. I am also sorry for the length of this.
Here is my situation: Last week I had an abortion. This will be my second one. The first was when my now ex and I first started dating about a year ago which is totally my fault when I wasnt to careful, and this time happened while I was on the pill. To say that I am sad and ashamed is an understatement. I feel like the most evil person in the world. There are a lot of women trying to concieve, and here I am doing something like this. I did not want to do it this time, but my ex has made it perfectly clear that he will "hate me and this child", will have nothing to do with either of us, and started to become abusive. I would have loved to think that maybe if I had the baby he would come around, but knowing how selfish he is, I know he means it when he says he wouldnt. I believe that a child should be brought up with two loving parents, or at least one parent who is able to care for and provide for them sufficently. I know that I could not do that by myself, and it would break my heart to have to tell my child someday that his/her father doesnt want anything to do with them. I tried 1000 times in my mind how I could work this out without his support or without putting a total burden on my family, and I just couldnt. I made the decision against what my heart wanted, but I want to think that I spared a child my life of hurt. I love children, and want so badly to be a mother one day, but when I am with a man who loves me and wants a loving family with me, not under these circumstances. Now after that long story, to the question. Has anyone ever had 2 abortions and was able to have kids later on? I pray to god every hour of my life that I have not done any damage, and that one day I will be able to have a child. To those that did, were there any problems with the pregnancies? How hard was it to concieve? Feel free to FM me if you would like.
Thank you all again for listening, I am so sorry if I offended anyone, I didnt mean to.

P.S. I have gotten rid of the ex, and I have made a vow to myself not to have sex with someone unless we are in a very serious relationship. I will not EVER do this again, and I dont want to be put in this situation by having sex with someone who doesnt love me.

Thank you all again

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

i have no advice as far as conceving, just this

you have not offended me. i know that everybodys situations are different.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

i know someone who had 3 and now cant concieve.....

my friend also had 2 with her ex but now is doublely careful, so she hasnt gotten pg yet, but wants to one day.

ive had 1 and i know how afriad you may be. this is a fear of mine as well.

sorry i cant give you any advice, but i think everyones body is different and it can go either way. i think that is is extremely possible to get pg again though. try not to let it worry you.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Posted by Lolita4Life
sorry i cant give you any advice, but i think everyones body is different and it can go either way. i think that is is extremely possible to get pg again though. try not to let it worry you.

Message edited 7/14/2006 7:09:51 PM.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I know several people that have had 2 or 3 abortions in college. All have children. Only one had an issue getting pregnant, but the issue was found in her husband.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

i dont have advice but i can imagine this was extremely difficult for you. i am glad you are out of that horrible relationship. a baby would NEVER have changed anything with him and its not right for you to think that a baby makes people different, it doesnt.

I am trying to find out info on this topic. I will send you whatever I find via fm.

Message edited 7/14/2006 7:18:16 PM.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I'm so sorry you are going through this and while I can't tell you anything, I had an old friend who had 3. Once, she was raped. Then in college, she just knew it wasn't the right time. 12 years later, a one night stand left her in the position again. Obviously, the 2 prior ones didn't affect her years later. Where she is now, I don't know. I hope happy.

Again

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

yes I know someone who has had 2 abortions and just had a beautiful baby girl.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I just wanted to send you some

I can't imagine how difficult this was for you. Please try not to worry..

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Im so sorry you had to go thru what you had to go thru--both mentally and physically.

Although everyone is different, I will tell you, I did know someone that had way too many, I want to say at least 5--she now has 3 kids........and from what I remember--apparantly, there is a limitiation to how many a person can go thru.....and that is why she now has 3....

Its just crazy, but Im sure you will not have a problem whatsoever in the years to come.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I don't have any advice for you, can you talk to your doctor or maybe someplace like planned parenthood about it?
I am glad you had the courage to get out of that relationship. Stay strong.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Message edited 11/30/2006 1:20:10 AM.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I am so sorry for your situation. I have been there and it is the hardest decision....good luck with everything !!!

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Posted by Lolita4Life

i know someone who had 3 and now cant concieve.....

my friend also had 2 with her ex but now is doublely careful, so she hasnt gotten pg yet, but wants to one day.

ive had 1 and i know how afriad you may be. this is a fear of mine as well.

sorry i cant give you any advice, but i think everyones body is different and it can go either way. i think that is is extremely possible to get pg again though. try not to let it worry you.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Posted by antoinette

yes I know someone who has had 2 abortions and just had a beautiful baby girl.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I want to give you some

You have not offended me at all.

From what everybody else posted, I'm sure that when the time is right and you are in a loving relationship, you will be able to have children.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I have no idea what will happen with your body in the future.

I can't imagine what you are going through and hope you find solace and peace within yourself. Your position is not an easy one to bear and I hope you start feeling better. I think it would be a great idea to see someone to help build up some self esteem and self worth so you can move on and become happy and secure.

Best of luck....

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

who am I to judge you? even though I am TTC, everyone's situation is different.

good luck to you

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

my sister has had i believe 3 or 4 and had a son. as to you everyone is differant. some can some can't. it also depends on the dr that did it. if it was a respected place then you should have no problems, but eveyone is differant, just like ever pg is. keep up with your ob and there are test they can do to see if you can or can't. i wish you all the luck in the world. for me having a child out of wed lock and now lossing keith and her looking for her "sperm donor" birthfather to replace keith is very hard for me, exspecially knowing he takes care of his other 3 children but his one daughter he wants nothing to do with. i hate him for that!! she is better off with out him as i learned later. and she will learn that too as she gets older. you made the right chose for you and that is all you have to know!!

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

don't be so hard on yourself you did what was right for you at this time. When the time is right you will have beautiful children and you will appreciate them all that much more!

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I can't ssay I know how you feel, because I have never been in that situation. I can say that I understand your situation and I am not offended. It's your own right, it's your own decision. I would do the same thing. Maybe I wouldn't have done it becaue my ex said he would "hate me and hate this child", F*CK him. If I could afford to raise a child and was mentally ready and prepared then I would have the child. But I will not bring up a child if I cannot give him/her a good life. As long as your comfortable and you know in your heart that you made the right decision, your good mama. Best of Luck!!

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I can only offer hugs since I can't predict how your body handle TTC later on. I do know people who have had more than 1 and still had children later in life with no problems TTC or otherwise. Even if you were to suffer infertility issues when you are ready to TTC, it doesn't mean that they were caused by these past abortions. Situations could arise later on in your life that could contribute to TTC problems (your age, your partner's reproductive system, overall health, etc). So if and when you are ready to TTC with the right person, if you don't get pg on the first shot, try not to blame yourself and your past.

I can imagine that any woman that has gone through this (abortion) might have the fear that they would not be able to conceive later on in life because of it. I'm sorry you had to go through this and with someone who sounds like a total jerk.

Re: sensitive subject (I hope not to offend anyone)

I have no advice - Just some