Setting a curfew for guest?

Just wondering what your thoughts are on "suggesting' to guests what time they should leave your home?

We had our families over to celebrate DH's bday tonite - they come over around 7:30/8:00 by 9:00pm -DH was rushing to get the cake out complaining that it was late and basically told everyone that they needed to leave by 10pm. Everyone took it as sort of a joke mostly bc how else do you respond to something that like-- they did a;ll leave at 10 l. I am absolutely mortified. I think it is beyond rude to tell people what time they have to leave and basically run them out of your home when they came for YOUr birthday and brought you gifts. Am I over reacting?

Message edited 3/29/2013 10:56:14 PM.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

It could be depending on how it's phrased. We have friends that do this. They'll have a large group of people and everyone is having fun, chatting, playing games and then all of a sudden they will announce that it's time for bed and everyone has to go. I think it's very strange but we are kind of used to it with them by now.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I think it was wrong and unappreciative for your husband to have done that. They were coming over to celebrate HIS birthday.
I know as a guest I wouldn't want to spend other holidays/celebrations at someone's home if I knew the host was going to rush me out.

If it was because he worked all day and was tired, then it should have been scheduled for a different day. I find it rude.

ETA: If it was one individual still lingering hrs after everyone else, then its a different story.

Message edited 3/29/2013 11:05:02 PM.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I typically don't have a problem with setting a curfew, but I am not sure I agree with the way it was done. 7:30-8 is only 2.5 hours to have a party.
Perhaps starting it earlier or having it at a restaurant might be a better solution in the future.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I think it's pretty rude. It's more so that you started the party at 7:30/8 and 2/2.5 hours seems like the party was cut short. In the future, I would start the party earlier or at least tell people in advance so they aren't caught off guard.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I love the idea and if they're close enough friends they shouldn't care. I am an early bird and hesitate offering to host things for certain groups of people because I *know* they'll overstay their welcome. With close friends I can say "come on over but I"m kickin' you out by 10" and that's why they're my close friends.

Setting a curfew for guest?

I don't think there is anything wrong with mentioning to your guests that you want it to be an early night in advance... Especially if its a work day the next day. However IMO the way your dh handled it was rude. I would be pretty taken back if I was a guest and he did that. Especially if I came to celebrate HIS birthday!

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

There are better ways of going about it...my go-to hint is saying "would you like some more coffee before you head out?"

If I was at someone's house and the host said it the way your DH did, I'd chalk it up to a bad day, a long day, or just one of those people who aren't into birthdays.

Setting a curfew for guest?

I would suggest maybe doing gatherings at a restaurant where there is a set time to leave. If I was invited over someone's house 7:30/8, I wouldn't expect to leave before midnight. Having people come over at 8 for your bday and kicking them out at 10 seems rude, IMO. Maybe next time invite people over earlier, like 5, 5:30, so they will leave early.

Message edited 3/30/2013 10:43:25 AM.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

Unless people/person is way overstaying their welcome (everyone left and they are still there and it is late) I think it is rude. In this situation I think the party should have started at 5 or 6 if people were expected to leave by 10.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

Hahah sounds like something I would do to my parents but would never to my in-law's. I remember after I gave birth I yelled out all nasty, ALRIGHT VISITING TIME IS OVER. My family thought I was funny AND left so win-win.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I think it was rude of him, especially because they were there for him!

I was glad when I had kids, cause I used the "Oh I have to be up in 2-3 hours to feed" excuse. Slowly people would leave.
Other than that, I really never had the "guts" to set a curfew.

Next time, suggest meeting out somewhere. Might be a lot easier.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

It's weird... We have a friends like that too - It's now a joke between us and some of our mutual friends. Some of us are reluctant to go to their house now.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

I think the timeframe sounds weird but coming from a really tired person with no free time, I am 100% ok with this if done in good taste!

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

Rude if you ask me. Esp since they came for his birthday.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

if somebody said "guys, I gotta be up early for _____ so we have to make this an early night" I wouldn't be offended. But if it was like "everybody needs to be out by _____" I would find that rude.

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

God bless you for not killing him!

I would farking DIE if DH ever did that - I never make people feel rushed or like they have to leave. When I invite people over, they are welcome to stay as long as they'd like and even stay over if they need to for some reason: one time the weather got really bad, really fast while we had guests over and I insisted they stay. Another time a guest had a lot to drink and I offered for them to stay so they did - we were having a nice time, so they made it an overnight.

I just could never see making it obvious or rushing someone. I was at a friend of a friend's house once and the husband literally took out the vacuum and started it up and vacuumed the rug -- everyone was horrified, like, I guess that's our cue! It was 9:15!

Re: Setting a curfew for guest?

If you are going to be too tired have people over earlier or don't have them at all. If you have the type of guests who are known to overstay their welcome suggest meeting out somewhere instead , that way everyone can leave when they want.