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I've had enough
I'm not looking for answers just needed to vent. 
Message edited 5/10/2013 9:18:22 AM.
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Posted 2/17/13 7:39 PM  |
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Mom-of-one
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 677 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had enough
Just sending 
Being a stepmom can be just so hard.
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| Posted 2/17/13 9:59 PM |
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I've had enough
It really can...thx
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| Posted 2/18/13 8:58 AM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had enough
Posted by 2boys1girl4me
It really can...thx
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| Posted 2/18/13 9:01 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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I've had enough
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My SS's mom does the same thing - calls me all kinds of horrible names to her son. I'm lucky though - my SS tells his mom she should be glad that he and I get along so well and asks her if she would rather that he have someone who treats him like crap in his life. Kind of scary that a 14 year old kid has more common sense than his own mother! I hope that at some point things turn around for you and that you and your SS can develop a better relationship.
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| Posted 2/19/13 11:35 AM |
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Re: I've had enough
Posted by chilltocam
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My SS's mom does the same thing - calls me all kinds of horrible names to her son. I'm lucky though - my SS tells his mom she should be glad that he and I get along so well and asks her if she would rather that he have someone who treats him like crap in his life. Kind of scary that a 14 year old kid has more common sense than his own mother! I hope that at some point things turn around for you and that you and your SS can develop a better relationship.
Thx....I don't understand these woman. I have to believe they are just immature, insecure people. It benefits everybody (mostly SC) if thee is a healthy relationship between SM and SS.
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| Posted 2/19/13 8:49 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had enough
Posted by 2boys1girl4me
Posted by chilltocam
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My SS's mom does the same thing - calls me all kinds of horrible names to her son. I'm lucky though - my SS tells his mom she should be glad that he and I get along so well and asks her if she would rather that he have someone who treats him like crap in his life. Kind of scary that a 14 year old kid has more common sense than his own mother! I hope that at some point things turn around for you and that you and your SS can develop a better relationship.
Thx....I don't understand these woman. I have to believe they are just immature, insecure people. It benefits everybody (mostly SC) if thee is a healthy relationship between SM and SS.
Exactly! His mom doesn't know it yet, but my SS is on the verge of asking us to go to court to have him live with us full time. He's brought it up to us a few times. Unfortunately, he'll have to go into court and say to a law guardian that he doesn't want to live with his mother anymore and I can't imagine there is too much that would be harder for a kid. If she (his mom) would just lighten up a little bit, he'd never ask to do that. (see my post on the relationshiop board about what she did to him on Valentines day) In the long run, they (the moms) only hurt themselves because eventually the kids realize what's been going on and they will know that it wasn't right to put them in the middle of all this. Is there anything in your DH's divorce decree that says one parent cannot alienate the kids from the other parent? I think my DH's divorce decree had something liek that in it. You might have to go back to court but in the long run you might get her to stop the crap.
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| Posted 2/20/13 12:40 PM |
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ThePinkGoose
In Your Hands
Member since 8/08 4706 total posts
Name:
Nunya
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I've had enough
I responded to your other post but just sending some hugs. Step-parenting is tough and a totally THANKLESS "Job." My DH's ex was nutty too but it's so liberating to laugh when I hear she bad mouthed me and say, "well I guess i'm a B**** then!" It totally invalidates her and dismisses her nasty comment. If your SS sees that you are hurt by his mom and take it to heart, that solidifies the words in his head. If his mom says it and you believe it, why shouldn't he? BUT....if his mom says it and you laugh at her, then she's just a fool. :) Find a sense of humor and laugh, she is ridiculous and she is mentally damaging her own SON....someone like that should not be taken seriously. You will be doing your SS a huge favor by being the bigger person and ending this game. Take the weight off of his shoulders for him by telling him that you're not offended and find your happy place.
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| Posted 4/10/13 10:11 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had enough
Posted by ThePinkGoose
I responded to your other post but just sending some hugs. Step-parenting is tough and a totally THANKLESS "Job." My DH's ex was nutty too but it's so liberating to laugh when I hear she bad mouthed me and say, "well I guess i'm a B**** then!" It totally invalidates her and dismisses her nasty comment. If your SS sees that you are hurt by his mom and take it to heart, that solidifies the words in his head. If his mom says it and you believe it, why shouldn't he? BUT....if his mom says it and you laugh at her, then she's just a fool. :) Find a sense of humor and laugh, she is ridiculous and she is mentally damaging her own SON....someone like that should not be taken seriously. You will be doing your SS a huge favor by being the bigger person and ending this game. Take the weight off of his shoulders for him by telling him that you're not offended and find your happy place.
This is excellent advice! My SS is so stressed out by the stuff his mom says about me (she yells at him about what a biotch I am, tells him I am just trying to buy his affection and that I don't really love him, and that DH only married me for my money - which I totally laugh about because if that's true, boy did he get ripped off  ). We recently had a talk about it and SS is so worried that she will call me (she keeps "threatening" to - go right ahead lady!) and SS was worried that I would be upset and that I am upset by what she says about me. I re-assured him that there is nothing she can say that will ever hurt me or change the way I feel about him and I laughed with him about the situation, without laughing about his mother. I think he felt much better after our talk, knowing that he doesn't have to worry about what she says, as far as how it would affect the two of us.
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| Posted 4/10/13 10:24 AM |
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Re: I've had enough
I went through this as a stepdaughter. It's the worst feeling when your parent makes you feel you are betraying her by accepting a stepparent. Sometimes the best way to protect himself is by trying to remove himself from you!
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| Posted 4/17/13 11:06 AM |
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