Need any advice on this....

I've been with my husband 9 years. Met his boys when they were 4-7. Love them to death. My husband has joint custody. He was supposed to have them 1-2 days during the week but ex said it would disrupt their school (this was 4 years ago and they live in queens) well in those 4 years they have failed miserably. No homework is done, projects are late or not done, failing tests. In those 4 years my husband has repeatedly emailed her asking to get the boys a few days so that we could help. As per her, she is helping, her mother was helping and the boyfriend was helping. Yet the kids were failing. In one month the oldest missed 15 hw assignments. Because of no kids left behind they continue to pass them. Their avg is a 65. My husband is constantly in school seeing how he can help. The school suggested after school tutoring so they can have more of a one on one. The mother refused. She actually wants my husband to pay for them to go to Sylvan. I dont believe they have a learning disability, the problem is they were not taught good learning habits so therefore are not held accountable. She doesn't check or ensure that things are getting done.There is so much we can do on our weekends. And now that the oldest one is 16 he feels he can decide wether he comes or not. I get it, you're a teen, you want to be with your friends. But I also know he avoids coming here because here hw and studying is enforced. Their reading level is horrible, math is so bad.
So here are my questions, has anyone gone through this? Did anyone go to court to get more time? My husband has 4 years worth of emails of him asking for the boys and her refusing. He asked her to let the boys come to school here in LI. There are better programs and im home by 3pm. She refused. His lawyer told him he would lose in court. Any input would be appreciated.

Need any advice on this....

I'm sorry u guys are going thru this. If by some chance the courts ok'd the request, how close do u guys live from each other as far as you guys bringing and getting the kids to/from school during those days? Would the kids be more upset that a couple days a week they are so far from home (meaning it would cause more attitude and make them not want to work harder in school). I feel your frustration with a mother who won't cooperate (we have the same thing with my Dh ex). But on the other handsPeaking from someone in both sides (I am a divorced mom and a symptom

Need any advice on this....

Oops...didn't mean to press send yet. I am on both sides and if my kids suddenly had a change in their custody schedule after so many years my opinion is it may do more harm than good. Its very frustrating I know bc uknow that those kids could be doing better. I guess maybe talk to the kids and see how they would feel if ur dh won and than hope for the best. Good luck!!

Re: Need any advice on this....

so sorry you are going through this. This was what my dh was actually living through for a while. Ultimately we wound up with residential custody of my ss. Long story how that happened. Once he moved in with us, grade went up, no bs, and he isreally starting to excel in school. BTW_ i met him when he was 6, and is going on 15. we got custody when he was 12, just before i got pregnant with ds. good luck. Unfortunately you are fighting an uphill battle, and their mother could care less. so sorry!!!