I realize it's early to be worrying about this, but need advice re: godparent selection

So I am currently PG with our 3rd baby. My BIL's girlfriend is very close with the family- they have been together about 5 years or so, have been living together for 4. She is VERY involved in our children's lives and they love her. We really would love for her to be the godmother of this baby. However... there has been no definitive discussion about marriage or engagement that we are aware of. We don't want to choose a godmother who may then, God forbid, at some point in the future, not be around anymore. I asked DH if he would feel comfortable talking to his brother and explaining the situation and just asking if he does have plans to marry her some day. DH feels that he won't give him a real answer and will just say not to pick her if we're not comfortable with it. Obviously, we have some time here, being that I am only about 8 weeks PG. But if nothing changes between them by the time the baby is born, how would you handle it? TIA for any advice you can offer!

Re: I realize it's early to be worrying about this, but need advice re: godparent selection

We are going through something similar. We are unsure of who to choose for our godfather.

I dont think you should choose her as a god mother if they are not at least engaged..

My sisters BF is really great and we are PRETTY sure they will get engaged, but i'm not taking any chances.

I'm almost at the point of not choosing a godfather and then choosing one after they get engaged or married...

JMO

Re: I realize it's early to be worrying about this, but need advice re: godparent selection

I would pick someone else. With my first DS I wanted to pick my brother and his wife. We wound up picking my brother and husbands sister.

Now- 5 years later my brother is getting divorced and we have very limited contact with his ex wife even though we were best friends. SHe hasn't seen my DS in over a year. It's very sad. My DS is losing his Aunt but not his Godmother too.

I would pick blood relatives or lifelong friends.

Re: I realize it's early to be worrying about this, but need advice re: godparent selection

that's tough but I agree it would make things uncomfortable god forbid something happened.

On the other end...even if they were engaged or even married doesn't mean divorce isn't possible down the line and then you'd be in a similar situation anyway

I would ask the brother his thoughts...if he doesn't plan to propose one day then I would think he wouldn't be totally comfortable that you ask her anyway. Maybe voice it like that instead, you wanted to ask him if he's comfortable with it since they're not married etc

I realize it's early to be worrying about this, but need advice re: godparent selection

I would not choose her for the god mother- I agree with bookmom choose blood relatives or life long friends.