BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Most of my family members and friends who have had babies told me that they had their or DH's mother come over to help with baby for the first few weeks. Did anyone not have help from mom/whomever? I may see it completely different once I am in the situation, but from my POV right now, I think I'd want to be alone with baby and DH, recovering/bonding in privacy for the first few weeks. Am I crazy?

Message edited 12/30/2013 1:36:56 PM.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had a baby nurse for 2 weeks and I wanted to do everything myself and her presence actually annoyed me. I didn't like her in my space. She was either hovering over me or up in the guest room and I would call for her on the rare time I needed help.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I was the same way as you. I made it clear that I wanted limited visitors and time for the 3 of us to relax and bond. I was lucky that DH was able to take off for about 10 days when the baby was born.

I'm one of those people that would feel the need to entertain family that came to "help". Plus, people never want to help with what you actually need help with...they all want to help with the baby instead of the household chores/ cooking. And I didn't want anyone except for me or DH really handling the baby in the beginning.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had my parents for 2 days but they had me do everything and were there just in case. They wanted to make sure I was ok before they went back to FL.

IMO you have to do it by yourself at some point so unless you have health issues from the birth why not start from the beginning.

And I am sure people will tell you so you can get sleep etc. I was able to sleep the first week....it was after that that DS got colicy and cried 24/7 and I didn't sleep for 4 months.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

My mom was with me for a few days. I did not feel like I needed her there but it was nice knowing I had the help if I needed it.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I did not have anyone stay over and help. DH and I handled it just fine. Once DH went back to work, my MIL would come over every once in a while to watch DD while I showered, etc.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Is your DH able to stay home at all? My DH had to go right back to work, so my MIL would come over here and there and help. It was nice having someone else to help a little during the day but if I had my DH home all day I would of been fine. I don't think you need anyone extra.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

My DH didn't have any time off when we came home, and that was really tough. Between family and friends, I had great help. But honestly, I needed my alone time too, to get to know this little guy and learn things together.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Hopefully my DH will have a few days off but I want limited visitors. My parents are close so if I need anything they will be there.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I wanted help but no one was available. So me and Dh handled it all alone. First time parents of twins it was and still is rough but we are doing just fine.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

My DH's mom and grandma were there since they live OOS and I had a scheduled c/s we could time their visit. I didn't want them there but I couldn't tell my DH no.

If my mom was alive, I would have wanted her there.

I think there is a difference when it is your mom vs. your MIL. But that also depends on your relationship with each of them.

Having DH's family there was more of a hassle for me and it made the first week home not a great time for me. I would have much rather been alone.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I want to be by myself with my husband and the baby as well. My SIL already told my mom she will be coming up from Florida when he is born, and I'm already dreading it. My husband says its selfish, and that everyone will want to see the baby because they will be happy and excited.

Yes but I also will be recovering from a major process and I don't want a bunch of people hanging around!

My mom is downstairs if I need any help, but I think I will be locking my doors!

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Before I had my DS, I thought that I would want limited help but I had a difficult time recovering from my c-section and I had a severe case of the baby blues for awhile. It turns out, I needed the help. My mother and mother-in-law both helped a lot, which I was very grateful for. I'm close with my mother-in-law so it wasn't like having a guest there--so I didnt feel the need to entertain.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

No, just me and DH. I didn't find I needed the help, except at night when he would be up every 2 hours to nurse so I could sleep.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had no help. DH went back to work the day he brought me home and I was completely on my own.

I wouldn't say that I needed help, but I was lonely and would have loved someone to bring me lunch once in awhile. But, as far as taking care of the baby, I did just fine!

I had a vaginal birth and a pretty smooth recovery.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

DH took off for the first two weeks after DS was born but otherwise I had no help. I did have a csection so sometimes it was rough going but once Igot over the initial anxiety of being alone with DS, it was totally fine.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

It's was just DH and I. I wouldn't have really wanted a houseguest on top of a newborn.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

No we didn't. DH was off for 2 weeks so we took turns. Once he went back to work it was just me for the late night feedings. DD was the most awesome infant. She would eat then go back to sleep for another 4 hours. During the day, my parents or MIL would come over and it would give me break. I honestly didn't feel sleep deprived. Not all babies are like that. As a new mom, you feel as though you can't do anything if there is no one there to watch the baby. It's so silly, but your baby will be fine if you go jump in the shower and he/she is in their crib/RnP etc. But you don't realize this right away (well maybe some new mom's do). My parents don't live far away and my MIL is just across town. Maybe these friends don't have family right there?

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

we did not. just me, the baby & dh.
i loved it.
this time around i think we will fly someone in or hire someone because now we'll have a preschooler toting around.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

My DH stayed home for a week and then I was on my own. My mom and MIL would drop by but more to see the baby. Not exactly help. I didn't really feel like I needed help.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Never needed or wanted any help. With each kid, I would have some people drop by, but it was NOT help. I still fed the baby, changed the baby and then served my guests. And each was a c/s.

After #4, I had the other three kids to watch too since it was summer. No one helped.

And I liked it that way.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I am going on baby #5 and I have never had help. First 3 babies were born when my husband was in the military. We lived 8 hours from any family. My husband always goes right back to work. I enjoy my alone time and finding our own grove. I can't imagine ever needing help or wanting help. So for some people, help is absolutely not needed.

Message edited 12/27/2013 8:09:40 PM.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had no one when DS was born. It was the beginning of the school year, all my family are teachers and had to work and couldn't take off. I came home on Sunday and my husband went back to work on Monday! My whole family came over the day I came home from the hospital and didn't even make dinner or bring dinner! Then to top it all off, I had to clean my house for a bris that was 4 days later after having a c-section (although I did get a cleaning lady!) I think my dad will come over and help every once in a while when I am first out of the hospital with the new baby because of my older DS (getting him off the bus etc) Other than that, I won't be getting any help with this one either!

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

DH will have off for a week.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle our parents/siblings though. I know both our moms will be here constantly, but I can't see either if them cleaning, and I know I'll be stressed if my house isn't cleaned.

I also had to convince my grandma to not book a plane ticket until 15 days after my due date, so well have some time to settle.