Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

No help... Just dh and I... My parents came by to visit us but that's it. During the day they would take my dd out for a bit. I like doing things on my own.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

With my 1st , my aunt (lives in England) stayed with us for 2 months. It was tough because of course we wanted to do everything ourselves (my husband took a month off of work). But yet she wanted to help. So it was a bit much and most likely because she stayed so long.

with my 2nd , we had no help. My husband took a week off of work and my aunt couldn't come. I would have loved my aunt to be there to help, but she physically couldn't have. Did I need the help? no. But with another kid at home, it would have been useful.

with my 3rd, we plan to have her come help. I will welcome the help.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

My mom came in (she lives OOT) and stayed for 2 weeks. I wasn't sure I would want or need the help but I knew how important it was to her to have that time with DS because she lives far away.

In the end it was a godsend. I had a very difficult recovery and ended up back in the hospital. When I got home I had complications with my health and severe anxiety. When she left (when DS was 2.5 weeks old) I wasn't sure I could do it on my own. But I could and I did and we are great now. The help was AMAZING honestly. I am EBF but I also had trouble sleeping due to nerves, so having my mom stay with DS while I slept helped me get the sleep I needed to recover. Plus she cooked for me, cleaned up, made sure I took care of myself which was necessary.

Like I said, I had a difficult recovery and complications which led to major anxiety, but IMO you never know what may happen and if you have someone you trust and are comfortable with offering to help, take it. But that's JMO and my experience.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

We have a lot of family local, and with both our boys, we had people stop by a few times within the first week or two, mostly to see the baby. But some would ask if we needed anything from the store, or they would bring/order a meal when they came- little things like that. My husband took off about a week each time, and we did just about everything ourselves. We never had anyone stay with us. Like others have said, we always wanted that time to bond, and find our own groove as a family. I think it would have stressed me out to have someone stay with us.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had help with my first and second - didn't have a choice about house guests since all of our family loves OOS. I could've done without help for my first and maybe even my second. Help is nice to have if they actually help - make meals, hold baby while you shower, play with older siblings.

I needed help with my third as I was supposed to be on bed rest for two weeks and while we had my ILs here, they didn't help much at all or pay any mind that I needed to be in bed. So in my experience, I would've hired a postpartum doula for my third.

Re: BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

Although we had visitors no one really "helped". My mom would have helped but she ended up catching c-diff while visiting me in the hospital. The best help we had was my sister brought over a big tray of lasagna lol.

DH was home with me for the first week and a half and then.. it was just me and the baby. I was terrified and cried about it the sunday before he went to work but it all worked out.

Message edited 12/30/2013 9:32:14 AM.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I've had three and didn't have any help. With my second, dh did take about a week off, and that was helpful because I had a 13 mth old, too, and for me going from 1-2 wad the hardest transition.

BTDT: Did anyone not have help the first few weeks?

I had a C/S, IMO you have to do it by yourself at some point so unless you have health issues from the birth why not start from the beginning. As pp said. However, my mom and mil were available when I needed them. Which was helpful.