Pros and cons of third child

I am not pregnant, but I have been debating a third child for a couple of years now. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. My first two kids are so close in age and really adore each other, but they are always asking for another sibling. So, for those that have 3 can you share the pros and cons? TIA

Re: Pros and cons of third child

Another child to love. My older 2 are 4 and 5 and the baby is 4 months. They absolutely adore him. To see all the love they have to share is great.
They keep asking for another baby lol

Re: Pros and cons of third child

My motto for me was tht I would never regret having another child, but I would regret if I didn't. I have four children. My oldest is 5 yr older than my youngest and they all adore each other!

Pros and cons of third child

Its tough.ain't gonna lie. I had my 3rd 7 mnths ago & its stressful but rewarding at same time...for me. I think bc my kids age span is 6yrs apart.(oldest 12 youngest 7m). Wanted to give my 6yr old D a sister..my son has brothers from his Dad & wife. I feel torn into 3 diff places at once some times & cant keep up with their individual needs..but thats ok..everyone gets what they need & help each other out. My 12 yr old son is an AWESOME big brother & helps me out tremendously :)

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I feel very lucky to have a girl and boy, and that they get along well. We have a 3 bedroom house, so right now everyone has their own room ( rooms are tiny). I am a teacher that is low on the seniority list, so I would only be able to take off 12 weeks I think this time around. I took 1.5 years for DD and 9 months for my DS. Certainly finances come into my mind when we consider the 3rd. I just feel like I need to decide soon, I am not getting any younger. I worry that they gap as well. I wish my husband could make a decision. We both sway back and forth on the topic constantly.

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I have children the same age as yours and have been having the same debate for about two years. I always thought I would have at least 3 but, once I had two I started to question this plan. I have ALOT of friends with 3 kids and, honestly, it has led me to the decision that I am 99 percent done. I think the decision really depends on YOU - the kind of mother you are, how much help you have, finances, the kind of time you have, etc. etc. For me - I know I can be a MUCH better mother to two children than I can to three. At the end of the day, three children means a LOT less of me to go around. And, yes, I know you are giving them a gift of another sibling but, lets be honest, this doesn't always work out for the best in the long run. I know I can be the BEST mother to my two - I can be there at all their school events, involved in their activities, with their friends etc. I can sit with each of them every day and read to them, do homework with them, teach them etc. We can go so many places together without having the much younger sibling to hinder us. If I had 3, all this would change. And, at the end of the day - I'm not sure I'd be happy about that. Sure, I'd love another baby but, I think I'd ALWAYS want another baby - but, babies grow up...and I can't keep having babies forever lol. And, when they grow up it adds another set of activities and playdates and school events and, you just CANNOT be three places at once honestly! I also see my friends that have kids our children's ages and baby's and they are so LIMITED in activities - so many things they cannot do together as a family because they have the little one...Anyway, I don't know if this helps since I don't actually have three kids but, as someone who is BTDT I just want to give you my thought process on the issue! Good luck

Message edited 1/22/2014 4:08:00 PM.

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I have children the same age as yours and have been having the same debate for about two years. I always thought I would have at least 3 but, once I had two I started to question this plan. I have ALOT of friends with 3 kids and, honestly, it has led me to the decision that I am 99 percent done. I think the decision really depends on YOU - the kind of mother you are, how much help you have, finances, the kind of time you have, etc. etc. For me - I know I can be a MUCH better mother to two children than I can to three. At the end of the day, three children means a LOT less of me to go around. And, yes, I know you are giving them a gift of another sibling but, lets be honest, this doesn't always work out for the best in the long run. I know I can be the BEST mother to my two - I can be there at all their school events, involved in their activities, with their friends etc. I can sit with each of them every day and read to them, do homework with them, teach them etc. We can go so many places together without having the much younger sibling to hinder us. If I had 3, all this would change. And, at the end of the day - I'm not sure I'd be happy about that. Sure, I'd love another baby but, I think I'd ALWAYS want another baby - but, babies grow up...and I can't keep having babies forever lol. And, when they grow up it adds another set of activities and playdates and school events and, you just CANNOT be three places at once honestly! I also see my friends that have kids our children's ages and baby's and they are so LIMITED in activities - so many things they cannot do together as a family because they have the little one...Anyway, I don't know if this helps since I don't actually have three kids but, as someone who is BTDT I just want to give you my thought process on the issue! Good luck

Very well written and in total agreement! Everyone 's situation is different.

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I appreciate the responses. Finances with a third for sure would be an issue. We also do not have any help, which always shows up on the "con" list. I really wanted a big family when I got married, and I really miss having a baby. However, I often think about how it will affect the two I already have in the long run as well. It is such a tough choice, if money was no issue it would be easier to decide. Thanks for all the thoughts. I really appreciate them.

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I am still on the fence with this too. And DH is no help. I think a part of him wants another and a part is terrified of another.

I have 2 boys who keep me busy all the time, and I do worry about whether I could be a good mom to 3. Some days I think I am not doing so great with just 2! I worry about finance and what it means for their futures, I worry about our house getting too small and not being able to do anything about it. I am a SAHM and I feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel. In 2.5y my youngest will be in kindergarten and I can go back to work part time with minimal child care issues. IT would mean having extra money again! yay....but if we have a 3rd?!?!
Also I worry about hindering the life I want my boys to have if we had a 3rd. Meaning we like taking them on vacations and being able to afford signing them up for whatever activity they choose and lets be honest that gets expensive. Swim lessons alone for 2 we spent probably 2k last year!

Finally my first son was an angel, he has his moments but he is reasonable, he was never a tantrum kid. DS2 came out of the womb all attitude, he throws tantrums all the time, he is stubborn and headstrong and seriously some days he alone is more than I can handle! So the thought of having a 3rd with similar personality is scary, I will admit it.

So I dont know, I honestly dont think that DH and I will ever say, lets have another. But if God made the decision for us....well we would be happy to welcome him/her with open arms!

Re: Pros and cons of third child

I have 3.

DD1 is 6
DS is 4
DD2 is 2

We were undecided about having a 3rd and decided to try for 6 months. In month 5 of trying we were all horrendously sick and DH and I decided that 2 was plenty and stopped trying a month early. Of course I found out a couple weeks later that I was pregnant

I have to say, we don't regret it at all. Our third has brought only joy. I think if I hadn't had her I would still be feeling that empty feeling or a feeling of regret or feeling of should we or shouldn't we. I can say those feelings are completely gone. I don't have a longing for another child and I think of our third as our grand finale.

Cons:
more fighting
more vying for my attention
more expensive
space (in car, house-no more guest room)

Pros:
More people to play together
So cute watching them all together
More giggles
The older 2 are so cute with the little one

I can't really put the pros in a list, I just have to say that the good definitely overwhelms the cons. It's hard to put into words but having our 3rd made any cons irrelevant.

Re: Pros and cons of third child

Posted by itsbabytime

I have children the same age as yours and have been having the same debate for about two years. I always thought I would have at least 3 but, once I had two I started to question this plan. I have ALOT of friends with 3 kids and, honestly, it has led me to the decision that I am 99 percent done. I think the decision really depends on YOU - the kind of mother you are, how much help you have, finances, the kind of time you have, etc. etc. For me - I know I can be a MUCH better mother to two children than I can to three. At the end of the day, three children means a LOT less of me to go around. And, yes, I know you are giving them a gift of another sibling but, lets be honest, this doesn't always work out for the best in the long run. I know I can be the BEST mother to my two - I can be there at all their school events, involved in their activities, with their friends etc. I can sit with each of them every day and read to them, do homework with them, teach them etc. We can go so many places together without having the much younger sibling to hinder us. If I had 3, all this would change. And, at the end of the day - I'm not sure I'd be happy about that. Sure, I'd love another baby but, I think I'd ALWAYS want another baby - but, babies grow up...and I can't keep having babies forever lol. And, when they grow up it adds another set of activities and playdates and school events and, you just CANNOT be three places at once honestly! I also see my friends that have kids our children's ages and baby's and they are so LIMITED in activities - so many things they cannot do together as a family because they have the little one...Anyway, I don't know if this helps since I don't actually have three kids but, as someone who is BTDT I just want to give you my thought process on the issue! Good luck