Need some input here please

Ok to make a long story short...we have a lot going on...in the process of buying our first house (never imagined the stress and running around involved before you actually buy it)
My dh works a min of 12 hour days 6 days a week, the stress of work, kids, the house and now I need to have surgery...laparoscopy for endometriosis...we knew it was coming its just really bad timing and I really dont want to push it off another 5 months.

On top of all that when I was at the dr office and we decided to schedule the surgery he also felt a little something in my breast and want me to go for a mammogram. It was hard enough calling my dh during his lunch break after a 2.5 hour doctors appt (did sono and blood wk while I was there) and tell him that 1 week after closing I go in for surgery I just didnt have anything left in me to tell him the rest.
Now a day has past and I still havent said anything. Im schedule to go for the mamo in 2 weeks. Yes my head keeps wondering and I keep telling myself not to freak out but we all know its almost impossible for things not to come into your brain when your stairing at a piece of paper thats mamo for breast lump.

Do I just wait until I have the mamo and then tell him all is good...or do add this stress to him too?

Message edited 4/16/2014 12:26:32 PM.

Need some input here please

You know your DH best . . . but if my DH didn't tell me about something like that until after he'd had the tests done, I'd be upset. I'd want to be there for him and support him through it.

You certainly have had your hands full. I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much. I hope that the mammo comes back fine and that it's smooth sailing for you from here on out!

Re: Need some input here please

Thank you
If it was scheduled for tomorrow I dont think I would tell him...but dont know if I can not say anything for 2 more weeks...it was the earliest I can do because I have to do it when my kids are in school, unless I tell my husband and he takes off of work

Re: Need some input here please

Tell him! If you guys are in a good place now, then you should have your dh to lean on. Through good times and bad. Dont wait. Just let him know.

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Re: Need some input here please

Need some input here please

You need to tell your DH what you are going through. Part of being in a marriage is to support your spouse when you are faced with tough times. I would think your DH might be upset if you had a potential Heath issue and withheld the information. Sorry you are going through all of this stuff at once.

Re: Need some input here please

I was going to try and talk to him tonight but I couldnt bring myself to tell him. I didnt want to say it in front of the kids although I did have a moment sitting on the couch with him and I just couldnt do it. I think Im more afraid to verbalize it then anything. Then he jumped in the shower I cleaned the kitchen just went in and he's asleep!

Re: Need some input here please

For me, I wouldn't tell him about a mammo unless it was a scheduling issue (i.e. you need to watch the kids) or if it was a biopsy.

But that's my relationship. I'm not big on stressing about the unknown & there are plenty of reasons to feel something (cystic breasts, etc)

If you are stressed about it & need support, by all means tell him.

Re: Need some input here please

I know I would need my DH to be in the "loop" if there was a health issue from the beginning. He'd be really pissed off if I kept it from him.

Need some input here please

Tell him. My DH has a very close friend who is going through some very scary medical stuff and waiting for test results. He confides in DH but hasn't told his wife most of what is going on. Just yesterday I told DH that if he ever did that to me, I would be so angry. It might be upsetting, but I would want to be there for him and I would think you DH will feel the same way. I think it would be worse for him to find out that you were/are going through this and you didn't turn to him for support. Together you will get through all of it.

Need some input here please

I would tell him.

I couldn't be married to someone I would keep this information from--or someone that would keep it from me.

Re: Need some input here please

I would tell him. Also, you can absolutely get your mammo done earlier...two weeks is a long time to wait and worry. Call the radiology center and see if they can get you in earlier, or find other radiology centers in your network and call them.

Take it from me...I found a lump and got a script for a mammo...I had a list of places in-network and called and called until someone could fit me in later that day. Waiting sucks.

Hope everything turns out okay!

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Need some input here please

and the girls are good!!!!! Thank God!

Need some input here please

Congratulations !!! Best possible news :) Now, relax.