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sweetkat
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/14 1 total post
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Where do I belong
I need some advice please ...I do not know where I can turn to...I have been dating a wonderful man for 4 months...In the beginning of the year he lost his wife after she battled for a few years ...from what I hear from him..The children...and even the community she was very much loved and seemed to be a wonderful wife and wonderful mother ...she left 3 children behind...2 from a previous marriage and 1 from her marriage to my boyfriend ...This child is young and has special needs...we instantly bonded and not only have I fallen in love with her father I have fallen in love with this little girl whom I love as my own...having said all that I am confused and don't know where I fit in this circle that revolved around this wonderful woman for so long...He treats me with so much love and respect and he offers me the world but I just cant shake the jealousy I feel sometimes...and I feel so foolish even saying out loud but when I heard him talk about her...see her pictures in his phone and all over his social media page i just get a twinge of saddness ...I feel so ridiculous even thinking that way...but where do I fit in and where do my feelings come into play...I am sorry if I am offending anyone that is going through something much more bigger and important but I have not been able to find a setting for someone in my situation
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Posted 8/28/14 5:43 PM  |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do I belong
Posted by sweetkat
I need some advice please ...I do not know where I can turn to...I have been dating a wonderful man for 4 months...In the beginning of the year he lost his wife after she battled for a few years ...from what I hear from him..The children...and even the community she was very much loved and seemed to be a wonderful wife and wonderful mother ...she left 3 children behind...2 from a previous marriage and 1 from her marriage to my boyfriend ...This child is young and has special needs...we instantly bonded and not only have I fallen in love with her father I have fallen in love with this little girl whom I love as my own...having said all that I am confused and don't know where I fit in this circle that revolved around this wonderful woman for so long...He treats me with so much love and respect and he offers me the world but I just cant shake the jealousy I feel
sometimes...and I feel so foolish even saying out loud but when I heard him talk about her...see her pictures in his phone and all over his social media page i just get a twinge of saddness ...I feel so ridiculous even thinking that way...but where do I fit in and where do my feelings come into play...I am sorry if I am offending anyone that is going through something much more bigger and important but I have not been able to find a setting for someone in my situation
if he only lost her in the beginning of the years that's only months ago, not much time to grieve and certainly not enough time to get past a relationship if it was as loving as you say. I don't think it wrong for you to feel jealous, feelings are never wrong or right, they are what they are. IMO it seem a little soon for you to have even been introduced to his family and young children. They need time to grieve for their mother. I cant say where you "fit" only you can decide. IMO Im not sure he knows where you fit but how can he. He first needs to figure out life as a single dad. Which might make your "place" in the family more confusing. I think you need to let time pass, go slow and see where the path leads. Good luck
Message edited 9/6/2014 8:34:23 PM.
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| Posted 9/6/14 8:32 PM |
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Where do I belong
I think a good therapist is important for you. One who specializes in things like this. This is very heavy and I feel you'll need professional support navigating through this!
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:48 PM |
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