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Mmm777
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 330 total posts
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Advice Needed
DS is 4 years old and is on the 2nd year in CPSE.We were not impressed with our school and moved and he is in another school now .
This year he has started to bite /pinch to show his frustration /anger/to seek attention etc . In the school this has died with PECS etc.. At home its at a manageable level (we recently had another baby who is 9 months so obviously he feels we are paying less attention , though my husband and me split to take care of each child 1 on 1)
We also placed DS in an afterschool from 4.30 -6.30 for which they charge close to 540$. Of the 10 hours per week, he has 2 hours of SEIT so in effect they have him for 8 hours or 10 hours if the SEIT doesn't show up..
The afterschool is actually a daycare and they say in their website they are equipped to deal with special needs ..
His caregiver there freaked out on the 2nd day saying she is not equipped to deal with autistic kids (its like he is contagious!!) ..We spoke with the director she calmed down..
Problem is DS is acting up in the afterschool trying to bite , climbing over stuff and while playing he catches kids but because he doesn't know his own strength he topples them..
They are asking he needs 1:1 and that the district should provide them( this is from his caregiver) not the director .. As of now they have 8 kids and 1 caregiver..
What is my next step in this?
I am expecting to start my new job Mid November after more than 1.5 years (dealing with DS diagnosis, baby issues..)"
I don't know what I should be doing
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Posted 10/10/14 9:04 AM  |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
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Re: Advice Needed
My DS was/is a hitter. As his speech improved, so did the hitting. A lot of it was due to frustration and him not being able to communicate. He still goes back to it when he is frustrated or doesn't want to do what he is told to do, either at home or at school.
I had a similar situation with daycare. He was bussed to daycare after his special needs preschool let out. He was hitting a lot at daycare, but because he had been there since 11 months old, and they knew him so well, they were willing to work with me. The director kept him with one teacher longer than usual because she was studying special ed and was better at managing his behaviors than the other teachers. We were also receiving parent training, so I had the parent trainer meet me at daycare to observe him to try and figure out what some of his triggers for hitting were.
The daycare teacher can tell you whatever she wants to, but it's highly unlikely that the district is going to pay for a 1:1 in daycare. You can probably request an increase in the SEIT hours and see if they go for that. Is the daycare provider working WITH the SEIT, or is the provider just using the SEIT as someone to be his 1:1 for the time she is there? The point of the SEIT is to help the daycare provider/teacher learn how to help the student and give some techniques on behavior management. If the daycare teacher is not interested, the SEIT isn't really doing all that much to help the situation, IMO. I would ask the director if there is another teacher that might be better equipped to handle the behaviors.
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| Posted 10/10/14 9:54 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: Advice Needed
Ugh I know how that feels how they make it seem like he is "contagious" . I had to try to look for before care for my DS who just started at a special needs pre-k, there is also a non-special needs pre-k in the same building that offers before care. When I called them to inquire, they made it seem like they couldn't watch my DS for an hour because he wouldn't be able to function with "normal" kids.
I don't know that you could get 1 on 1 daycare but I would definitely push to increase his SEIT hours.
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| Posted 10/10/14 10:17 AM |
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Mmm777
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 330 total posts
Name:
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Advice Needed
Yeah the providers there just want the SEIT so they don't have to take care of him..
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| Posted 10/10/14 6:11 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Advice Needed
I think it is a real dilemma and I wish there were specific day cares for special need children. Alot of places do not have the knowledge to take care of special needs kids and honestly if they aren't trained I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them there anyway. The program I sent DD too had a daycare as well and admitted special needs children. It was in Setauket so I don't know where your from but I would look into the special need programs or schools and see if they offer anything. This was one of the main reason's why I didn't go back to work.
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| Posted 10/10/14 6:45 PM |
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Re: Advice Needed
Posted by Mmm777
Yeah the providers there just want the SEIT so they don't have to take care of him..
I don't think this is a fair assumption to make.
You said that there is one caregiver for 8 or so kids. It's not realistic to expect them to even be able to meet with the SEIT even if they want to.
Like the above poster said, I would start looking for other options.
Turnover in these places is super high, especially given the fact that they make minimum wage.
Maybe at times they have staff who are SE trained.
What about looking for a caregiver to come to you? Maybe a student studying SE that could also pick your child up and drop him off?
ETA: Directors are usually not the ones involved in the caregiving so of course they will say anything to try to appease the parent.
Message edited 10/11/2014 7:31:23 AM.
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| Posted 10/11/14 7:02 AM |
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Mmm777
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 330 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice Needed
Well considering they want a SEIT for the whole time I think that's a reasonable assumption to make
I am not expecting they provide 1 on 1.. , we mentioned clearly he is non verbal and they mention they are equipped to deal with kids of special needs in their website..
If they are unprepared I feel they should remove that line from the website and be honest with the parents and not have accepted him.
Is it normal to have 1 caregiver for 8 kids In a daycare?
We have started to look for other after school facilities in the area.
Message edited 10/11/2014 11:05:22 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/14 10:54 PM |
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Re: Advice Needed
Look, no reason to get snarky.
You were offered suggestions/feedback. Obviously it's time to look elsewhere.
Message edited 10/12/2014 6:23:09 AM.
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| Posted 10/12/14 6:21 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice Needed
Posted by Mmm777
Well considering they want a SEIT for the whole time I think that's a reasonable assumption to make
I am not expecting they provide 1 on 1.. , we mentioned clearly he is non verbal and they mention they are equipped to deal with kids of special needs in their website..
If they are unprepared I feel they should remove that line from the website and be honest with the parents and not have accepted him.
Is it normal to have 1 caregiver for 8 kids In a daycare?
We have started to look for other after school facilities in the area.
As my DS gets older, I am beginning to understand that an agency/program stating that they accept special needs kids does not necessarily mean they know how to handle or deal with all types of special needs. I have learned the hard way. I hate it when they say they welcome special needs kids, you explain the issues and they yes you and don't read or understand the needs and then it's a problem for them.
The ratio for daycare changes as the kids age. So for example, when my DS was in the infant room, I think it was 1 teacher for 4 babies? Then, with each room change, the ratio went up. I don't remember exactly what they were, but I think when he was 3 it was more like 1 teacher for 8 or 10 kids.
From the information you gave in your original post, I also assumed they want the SEIT to act as his 1:1 for the whole time he is there. And as I said earlier, as I understand it, that is not the role of a SEIT and the district is not going to pay for your child to have a 1:1 at daycare.
I ended up paying someone to come to my house afterschool once he started Kindergarten to get him off the bus and stay until I get home. It's more expensive, but I am more comfortable with it, and I think it's better for him.
Message edited 10/14/2014 12:58:07 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/14 12:55 PM |
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Mmm777
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 330 total posts
Name:
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Advice Needed
I totally agree with what you say .. They called me today and said they don't have the resources to take care of him.. Needless to say I was very upset though I had been expecting something like this
What's funny is he went to daycare for 2x week when he was 2 for a couple of months ..then in a church program 2x week and whole first year of CPSE without any issues.. And this year this..
I also agree the district won't pay IMO it's not right to expect
I am trying to call other day cares in the area and if nothing works I will hire someone for him like u did
I am getting very emotional about this and I have to keep reminding myself I need to be reasonable,.. Thks
Message edited 10/15/2014 10:43:07 PM.
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| Posted 10/15/14 10:42 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
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Advice Needed
Is the school near your house? I have used assistants from the preschool as babysitters for afterschool, but depending on locations and bus routes, they may not be able to make it there by the time he gets home. I also had good luck on year hiring someone from sittercity.com. Some of the special needs preschools have daycares affiliated with them that are probably better at handling the behaviors. I know the Leeds Center in Manhasset has one, and Little Village in Seaford has one.
I know it's stressful. It will work out, just keep asking around to find someone or a program.
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| Posted 10/16/14 10:36 AM |
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