Newlywed blues

Hi, I really need some advice, perhaps some of you may have had a similar problem/experience.

I am a newlywed and having a hard time adjusting to DH's family. He is extremely close to them. He is the favorite and oldest of 4; even his siblings respect him and look up to him. Well, he has one sister who is the same age as me. We got along fine in the beginning of me and DH dating.
The relationship began to sour during the stages of my wedding planning.

Instead of going into specifics and to make a long story short: she is a nasty person. She talks down to me as well as other people. She left her aunt who came thousands of miles away for our wedding crying back home. Her aunt stayed at my ILs house (whom SIL lives with) for the wedding. Well, SIL spoke in a rather nasty tone and belittled her aunt, which caused aunt to want to stay downstairs in the basement to be AWAY from niece/sil. She couldn't bring herself to speak with her so she decided to write her a letter but never got to it. Long story short: I am not the only one who is treated this way by her.

She ALWAYS thinks she's right/smarter. She is controlling, overbearing, excessively bossy.

On my wedding day she yelled at me. I book hair/mu artist months in advance. I asked if she wanted hair/mu done, "no". One week before the wedding she hires her own hair/mu and tries to take away my ppl who are already getting hair/mu done to try and meet her quota. Her answer was she wanted them to take their time on me. ********.

I could go on and on. Even to little things where I grab a drink (Grapefruit sparkling soda) to pour for DH, I sipped it and said it's good and she whips out and says "oh, MY soda?"
Like come on! Something so little she has to be such a *****. Anyway, I feel so uncomfortable going to ILs house because of her. DH went last night and they questioned my whereabouts. DH explained to them my dislike for SIL. And both MIL and SIL start complaining about (NOT me) but events that took place during the wedding.


I explained to DH THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The POINT is the way your sister treats and talks to ppl and she can't be talking down to ppl like that especially me if we're going to be around each other.

DH doesn't get it and seems to not understand my POV and says that is just how his sister is. I don't want him to take sides but I want him to stick up for me and support me.


But she has a problem with every single person from her own husband's family to me, to my sister, to my bridesmaids...except her own family and herself.

I text SIL this morning that we should talk and no response. I'd much prefer to tell her myself how I feel.

This makes me sad bc it's causing a riff between DH and I and not MIL.

Re: Newlywed blues

Look you are not going to change your sil. And from your post staking claim to a soda is not a big deal. You can only control you. While sil may be obnoxious from what you wrote, I would let it go. It's not like she tore your gown, made a bad speech, etc. so she is annoying. Every family has someone annoying in it. I would apologize to your mil and work on your relationship with your husband.

Newlywed blues

I too have a very obnoxious SIL. She always wants to put her two cents in, very bossy and controlling. I just keep my visits short, stay off topics that are sensitive, keep the conversation light. When she does or says something I don't like, I just ignore her to the best of my ability. If I really get pissed I tell my husband I'm not feeling well and want to go home soon.

good luck <3

Re: Newlywed blues

Re: Newlywed blues

I have an annoying SIL - she's a one-upper. She recently had her first baby 2.5 months before I had my 2nd and wanted to give me advice on having a newborn- in her mind, she knows SO MUCH MORE than I do. It's annoying, but I'm never going to change her. I just deal with it - we don't see her too much and she's really nice otherwise.

You're not going to change your SIL. You married into that family, I would find a way to let it go. Try to get the support of your DH to vent about her, but for him not to go tell his family. Luckily, I have the support of DH - he knows his sister makes a lot of things up and thinks she knows everything. It might make you feel better if you know you can always vent to him after a night out with her, but be careful, because if they're really close, he might resent the fact that you badmouth his family and it could cause a strain in your relationship.