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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
Hi everyone, sorry for the morbid post. A family member of mine isn't doing well and tonight a few of us started talking about the "what ifs" when he passes away. He isn't close with anyone. If someone has no children, no money, and no resources- what do you do? I thought cremation and a memorial service but have no idea what that costs. I know it's terrible to think in terms of money but it's a reality. If you have been in a similar situation, what did your family do?
edit- There is an extra place in the plot of another family member and we think he will just go there. We are really concerned with wake (and if we should have one) coffin etc.
Message edited 7/12/2015 11:15:46 AM.
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Posted 7/11/15 10:40 PM  |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
Sorry you are going through this. I haven't been in your situation.
I would suggest calling up a local funeral home and asking how much cremation costs. FYI- A burial plot goes for around $15k these days. Is this person still lucid? Is there any way you can ask him if he ever bought his own plot? Just to make sure he doesn't already have a burial plot that's paid for.
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| Posted 7/12/15 9:44 AM |
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NewYawkah
2012--A year of new beginnings
Member since 5/05 4402 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
From my dad's funeral, he was cremated and we still had to buy a coffin! The cheapest one was about 2500. We were shocked.
I'm sorry that your family is going through this. :hugs:
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| Posted 7/12/15 9:52 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
Sorry! Cremation actually isn't that cheap. Could easily run 2500-4k. When my mother passed she didn't have the finances either. My mother always said she never ever wanted to be cremated. My disgusting grandparents kept pushing to cremate her, despite them having the $ to help us properly bury her. Anyway, my brother and I split the cost of burial and funeral for her and it was beautiful.
Message edited 7/12/2015 10:09:42 AM.
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| Posted 7/12/15 10:09 AM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Is he a veteran? If so, he can be buried at Calvary I think free or for very nominal fee.
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| Posted 7/12/15 10:54 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
You still have to buy a coffin for a cremation--as that is what the body is cremated in.
It isn't cheap and it is still considered a "proper" burial based on the wishes of the deceased and/or their family
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| Posted 7/12/15 11:08 AM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by marianne13
Sorry you are going through this. I haven't been in your situation.
I would suggest calling up a local funeral home and asking how much cremation costs. FYI- A burial plot goes for around $15k these days. Is this person still lucid? Is there any way you can ask him if he ever bought his own plot? Just to make sure he doesn't already have a burial plot that's paid for.
Thank you, I forgot to include that he does have a plot (thank God)
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| Posted 7/12/15 11:14 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
I've been through this several times with family members including my mom. What we did is every family member donated and even close friends of the family. We always managed to raise money to cover the funeral expenses.
My husband cousin was cremated and they did not buy a coffin. There wasn't a wake, but a memorial service with the ashes. It was $2200 for the memorial services, cremation, obituary and cards. But this was in Maryland.
Sorry you're going through this.
Message edited 7/12/2015 7:05:42 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/15 11:31 AM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
You can ask the funeral home if they rent coffins... The rental should range between $500-$1000 (this is if you decided to do cremation).
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| Posted 7/12/15 4:08 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
did you ask him what he wants?
if money is a concern can you have a service in your home w/o the body of course
Message edited 7/12/2015 4:40:12 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/15 4:37 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't speak to costs, but my father's side has no money, none of them do. He's lost 3 siblings at this point, and each one, we had a wake (usually 2 nights) and then funeral (we're Catholic). Two of them were cremated, one was buried at Calverton with a military burial. The cremation was a matter of cost.
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| Posted 7/12/15 5:32 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by Katareen
You still have to buy a coffin for a cremation--as that is what the body is cremated in.
It isn't cheap and it is still considered a "proper" burial based on the wishes of the deceased and/or their family
This is not correct. The body is cremated in a simple wooden coffin, NOT the same as the coffin that is used during the showing or when buried.
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| Posted 7/12/15 5:34 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
my grandma was cremated last year and my mother had arranged for it in advanced. I think she paid almost 2K for the cremation. there was no memorial or any service.
I think that included standard urns...im not sure b/c I know my mom paid extra for the urn she chose.
Im sorry you're family is dealing with this.
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| Posted 7/12/15 6:08 PM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
Planning ahead is smart, if you can. We are Catholic also. We have had relatives die with no money and no plots but their grown kids and other family members wanted a traditional funeral. I called other family members and we gathered enough to cover the costs, but it was expensive, around $12,000 for the last one, plus the plot which was donated by my mother.
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Because one person died in another state and had to be brought home, I did learn that every state has different regulations about what can be done. You can actually go "green" in one state - Arizona I think it was? - and be buried in a cardboard coffin on your own property. Now, that would be economical!
I also learned that you do not have to buy a coffin from the funeral home. You are free to buy one anywhere and have it shipped to the funeral home you want to use. Many companies sell handsome ones online for a lot less than a funeral home charges for the same thing.
I suggest speaking with a funeral home ASAP to find out what you can do to hold down costs. If it won't work with you, go to another one.
Message edited 7/12/2015 7:38:17 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/15 7:32 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Katareen
You still have to buy a coffin for a cremation--as that is what the body is cremated in.
It isn't cheap and it is still considered a "proper" burial based on the wishes of the deceased and/or their family
This is not correct. The body is cremated in a simple wooden coffin, NOT the same as the coffin that is used during the showing or when buried.
I never said it was the same coffin...but you still have to buy it even if its simple.
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| Posted 7/12/15 8:33 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by Katareen
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Katareen
You still have to buy a coffin for a cremation--as that is what the body is cremated in.
It isn't cheap and it is still considered a "proper" burial based on the wishes of the deceased and/or their family
This is not correct. The body is cremated in a simple wooden coffin, NOT the same as the coffin that is used during the showing or when buried.
I never said it was the same coffin...but you still have to buy it even if its simple.
I believe the plain pine coffin which is exactly what it sounds like, literally a wooden box. Not painted, no handles etc. is about $500. And yes someone can be buried or cremated in this.
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| Posted 7/12/15 9:25 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by alexb
You can ask the funeral home if they rent coffins... The rental should range between $500-$1000 (this is if you decided to do cremation).
FYI. New York does not rent funeral coffins (it's the law), but Florida does. Different in each state.
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| Posted 7/12/15 9:28 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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Death of a family member with no financial resources
My sister in law's mother passed away last year. She did not have any money or assets, no insurance, nothing. She also died in another state.
Since all of her children were struggling on their own and could not fly her back here (costly) and pay for a funeral, they chose to donate her body to medical science. They did still receive the ashes (though it took some time) and they had a small memorial service at that time. There was little to no cost involved.
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| Posted 7/13/15 8:47 AM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
Posted by alexb
You can ask the funeral home if they rent coffins... The rental should range between $500-$1000 (this is if you decided to do cremation).
FYI. New York does not rent funeral coffins (it's the law), but Florida does. Different in each state.
Did this change in the last six years? I rented a coffin back then...
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| Posted 7/13/15 3:43 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by teachermom
Posted by marianne13
Sorry you are going through this. I haven't been in your situation.
I would suggest calling up a local funeral home and asking how much cremation costs. FYI- A burial plot goes for around $15k these days. Is this person still lucid? Is there any way you can ask him if he ever bought his own plot? Just to make sure he doesn't already have a burial plot that's paid for.
Thank you, I forgot to include that he does have a plot (thank God)
I hope I'm not too late in responding..But I would make sure someone has the papers (deed?) for the plot.
Out of curiousity, why were you thinking of cremating this person if it's known that he has a paid burial plot? Unless you mean he bought himself one of those small plots for his ashes in the mausoleums)? If he has a standard burial plot, then all he will need is a coffin. Coffins range in prices quite a bit. As for the wake and services, it's up to the family.
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| Posted 7/18/15 1:05 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by sunnyflies
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Yep, the responses on this thread demonstrate how important it is save and plan ahead. IF someone wants to have a burial and funeral, they shouldn't rely on others. And I don't mean that they have to buy their own plots ahead of time (I realize some people feel scared doing this) BUT they should have enough liquid assets to cover the expenses and communicate their wishes and asset locations to someone else so that at least their own estate can cover their burial and funeral.
Message edited 7/18/2015 1:14:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/18/15 1:12 PM |
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by marianne13
Posted by sunnyflies
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Yep, the responses on this thread demonstrate how important it is save and plan ahead. IF someone wants to have a burial and funeral, they shouldn't rely on others. And I don't mean that they have to buy their own plots ahead of time (I realize some people feel scared doing this) BUT they should have enough liquid assets to cover the expenses and communicate their wishes and asset locations to someone else so that at least their own estate can cover their burial and funeral.
I don't get how so many people don't have life insurance. It doesn't cost that much and it is something you don't have to worry about others having to find the money in case you pass away.
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| Posted 7/18/15 3:29 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by marianne13
Posted by sunnyflies
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Yep, the responses on this thread demonstrate how important it is save and plan ahead. IF someone wants to have a burial and funeral, they shouldn't rely on others. And I don't mean that they have to buy their own plots ahead of time (I realize some people feel scared doing this) BUT they should have enough liquid assets to cover the expenses and communicate their wishes and asset locations to someone else so that at least their own estate can cover their burial and funeral.
Yes I totally agree and discuss this with my DH. But he is terrified with death but having been through this twice of raising money, I wouldn't want to put that burden on anyone. But I have the financial means to do this and I am in the right mind set.
However, when my mom past, we were on welfare and I don't think she had two nickles to rub together. Same with the other three family members. It hard when you have poor people in your family. If they are struggling to pay rent and/or survive the last thing they are thinking about is saving for funerals or planning for the future. It's sad.
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| Posted 7/18/15 3:35 PM |
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by Sash
Posted by marianne13
Posted by sunnyflies
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Yep, the responses on this thread demonstrate how important it is save and plan ahead. IF someone wants to have a burial and funeral, they shouldn't rely on others. And I don't mean that they have to buy their own plots ahead of time (I realize some people feel scared doing this) BUT they should have enough liquid assets to cover the expenses and communicate their wishes and asset locations to someone else so that at least their own estate can cover their burial and funeral.
Yes I totally agree and discuss this with my DH. But he is terrified with death but having been through this twice of raising money, I wouldn't want to put that burden on anyone. But I have the financial means to do this and I am in the right mind set.
However, when my mom past, we were on welfare and I don't think she had two nickles to rub together. Same with the other three family members. It hard when you have poor people in your family. If they are struggling to pay rent and/or survive the last thing they are thinking about is saving for funerals or planning for the future. It's sad.
Life insurance does not have to be expensive. We have 2 policies that only cost us $20/week. 2 others from work that are about $2/week. Another one that is $125/year. That is only $1,100/year.
Message edited 7/18/2015 6:54:00 PM.
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| Posted 7/18/15 6:09 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Death of a family member with no financial resources
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Sash
Posted by marianne13
Posted by sunnyflies
I have sworn that I will not be shamed into spending a lot of money that I really should not be spending just to feed family pride, or whatever it is.. The next person will be cremated and be given a nice memorial service with a lovely gathering at home afterwards. There are too many without money or life insurance in my family. I see no reason I, or anyone else in the family, has to spend a fortune on their funerals. We have our own needs. I love them, but I do not have to prove it by handing over thousands each time someone dies.
Yep, the responses on this thread demonstrate how important it is save and plan ahead. IF someone wants to have a burial and funeral, they shouldn't rely on others. And I don't mean that they have to buy their own plots ahead of time (I realize some people feel scared doing this) BUT they should have enough liquid assets to cover the expenses and communicate their wishes and asset locations to someone else so that at least their own estate can cover their burial and funeral.
Yes I totally agree and discuss this with my DH. But he is terrified with death but having been through this twice of raising money, I wouldn't want to put that burden on anyone. But I have the financial means to do this and I am in the right mind set.
However, when my mom past, we were on welfare and I don't think she had two nickles to rub together. Same with the other three family members. It hard when you have poor people in your family. If they are struggling to pay rent and/or survive the last thing they are thinking about is saving for funerals or planning for the future. It's sad.
Life insurance does not have to be expensive. We have 2 policies that only cost us $20/week. 2 others from work that are about $2/week. Another one that is about $200/year.
Yes to you and me it's not a lot, to poor people it is. Trust me. It's also something you don't think about in the hood. It's not realistic sorry. I don't think you understand the situation I'm talking about. It sucked but it's family and we pulled through and made it work.
But like I said, my family and kids won't have to worry about this.
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| Posted 7/18/15 6:54 PM |
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