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My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

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afternoondelight828
LIF Adult

Member since 1/13

3363 total posts

Name:
Afternoon

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by LIRascal

My MIL Always stole my thunder. Even today when she bought my DD's the ugliest dress, but they love it, so they're wearing it. Chat Icon
She shared this article with me privately because she and I have a wonderful relationship. She did not have such a relationship with her MIL.
Careful, I cried my face off:

She Knew Mother-In-Law Was Turning Her Kids Into Spoiled Brats. But Never Expected This After She Passed Away




Beautiful. THIS is why we need to pick our battles in life. Some of us WISH we had a MIL that acted like a grandmother to our kids let alone spoil them.

Posted 11/13/15 8:18 AM
 
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

7619 total posts

Name:
Momma <3

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by LIRascal

My MIL Always stole my thunder. Even today when she bought my DD's the ugliest dress, but they love it, so they're wearing it. Chat Icon
She shared this article with me privately because she and I have a wonderful relationship. She did not have such a relationship with her MIL.
Careful, I cried my face off:

She Knew Mother-In-Law Was Turning Her Kids Into Spoiled Brats. But Never Expected This After She Passed Away





Beautiful. THIS is why we need to pick our battles in life. Some of us WISH we had a MIL that acted like a grandmother to our kids let alone spoil them.



I read this a while back and it made me appreciate my MIL even more than I already do!

Message edited 11/13/2015 10:11:56 AM.

Posted 11/13/15 8:51 AM
 

EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by PitterPatter11

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by LIRascal

My MIL Always stole my thunder. Even today when she bought my DD's the ugliest dress, but they love it, so they're wearing it. Chat Icon
She shared this article with me privately because she and I have a wonderful relationship. She did not have such a relationship with her MIL.
Careful, I cried my face off:

She Knew Mother-In-Law Was Turning Her Kids Into Spoiled Brats. But Never Expected This After She Passed Away




I read this a while back and it made me appreciate my MIL even more than I already do!
Beautiful. THIS is why we need to pick our battles in life. Some of us WISH we had a MIL that acted like a grandmother to our kids let alone spoil them.




This is why there needs to be a MiL adoption center. Forget puppies and cats, mother in laws should be up for adoption for those of you who want an overbearing one who takes over and runs you ragged Chat Icon

All I'm saying is, it sounds like first world problems but it can really be bothersome to some. And maybe it's just a personality thing.

Like some moms wouldn't care about picking out the first Halloween outfit or spending the morning with their child before the first day of school - or wouldn't mind a grandma buying all the gifts for Xmas. And that's fine and dandy, everyone is different. But if you had one (either your own mom, mother in law, overbearing aunt, whoever) who attempt to over take every.single.thing. *you* looked forward to as a parent, then there's an issue. And you're allowed to feel badly about it without being labeled ungrateful.

I've had issues with that (not anymore thankfully!) and so have friends of mine - the MIL/whoever running out and picking out the going home outfit, the first Halloween outfit, picking out their first backpack for school and buying all their school supplies, things that the mom looked forward to. And then the mil/whoever laying a guilt trip when it was gently told no. Or the mil who bought the big ticket item you wanted to gift your child and "surprising them" with it prior to the holiday. I know it's hard to see why that would be bad.

And it's not - they love their grandkids. But there's still a mother present and some moms look forward to those things and then someone else glides in, it sucks.

Sometimes you wanna be the reason your kids smiled. Or the long hours you worked with overtime and all - in order to pay for the gift - you want to know you did it for them. And that all the hours you worked, you kept thinking of how happy your kids will be when you finally give it to them. Not someone else. That's all. I know not everyone gets it, just trying to show the other side :)


Posted 11/13/15 9:41 AM
 

chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

9141 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by LIRascal

My MIL Always stole my thunder. Even today when she bought my DD's the ugliest dress, but they love it, so they're wearing it. Chat Icon
She shared this article with me privately because she and I have a wonderful relationship. She did not have such a relationship with her MIL.
Careful, I cried my face off:

She Knew Mother-In-Law Was Turning Her Kids Into Spoiled Brats. But Never Expected This After She Passed Away



OK, couldn't even get through the whole thing - tears streaming down my face as I sit at my desk and hope no one notices. This was my mom with my nephews. They (we all) miss her terribly. she and my SIL had a great relationship, with mutual respect. My mom would certainly back off or refrain from doing something if asked, but my SIL also understood how much she loved the boys. It was great for everyone.

I do understand how it could be annoying to a parent who wants to do something special and it gets "stolen" away by another relative, but I think sometimes parents don't realize that other relatives also want to express their love and do special things for the kids too. Both sides need to have communication and have respect for the other's position - fortunately, in these situations, it's all about giving love to a child

Message edited 11/13/2015 10:03:53 AM.

Posted 11/13/15 9:58 AM
 

Ballet46
LIF Infant

Member since 6/14

180 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

I think it is way overboard that she bought the whole thing. What about your parents? If she has a history of boundary-stomping, then I would say she was trying to trump everyone on Christmas. If not, then just talk to her. She made a mistake. Chat Icon

Also, I believe grandparents can have beautiful relationships with grandchildren that does not include spoiling and turning kids into brats.

Message edited 11/13/2015 3:09:38 PM.

Posted 11/13/15 3:04 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by

it's all about giving love to a child



Unfortunately it's not always about the love for a child. My MIL would do this and it's completely self serving. While yes she loves my son she would not do it cause she loves him she would do it because she wants to look good. Look like the hero etc. my MIL comes off as a super nice caring person but in reality it is all about her

Posted 11/13/15 4:51 PM
 

Pinkisles
<3

Member since 11/13

2868 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by alli3131

Posted by

it's all about giving love to a child



Unfortunately it's not always about the love for a child. My MIL would do this and it's completely self serving. While yes she loves my son she would not do it cause she loves him she would do it because she wants to look good. Look like the hero etc. my MIL comes off as a super nice caring person but in reality it is all about her



Same here but with my SIL.

Posted 11/13/15 5:04 PM
 

BaysideForever
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

9976 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by alli3131

Posted by

it's all about giving love to a child



Unfortunately it's not always about the love for a child. My MIL would do this and it's completely self serving. While yes she loves my son she would not do it cause she loves him she would do it because she wants to look good. Look like the hero etc. my MIL comes off as a super nice caring person but in reality it is all about her



This. and my MIL does it to have leverage. She is very manipulative and nothing comes for free with her, there is always a consequence or a demand or something else with everything nice she does. And its only to make herself happy first and foremost, not necessarily my daughter.

Posted 11/13/15 5:06 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7993 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Posted by stinger

Posted by hmm

Posted by allIwant

Posted by hmm

Im wondering why or how she was able to search you emails but I know that is not what you asked lol.


she went on amazon and searched my email address for any lists i have...next time i keep it private until im ready



oh, Im not on amazon so I was not sure what you meant. Sorry, like pp said ask her to return some items. IMO it was not very nice of her, a bit selfish. She should have spoken to you first.



I don't get how it is selfish? It's on a wish list. She was generous.



in once sense she was being generous, but to buy all of it without finding out what the parents might want to buy was bit selfish

Posted 11/15/15 1:57 PM
 

caps612
In love with my little guys!!

Member since 8/10

5108 total posts

Name:

Re: My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Could have written this post myself today, but she bought only half atleast. but still... i am not trying to think of more stuff!

Posted 11/16/15 10:52 AM
 

MrsSteflily
I love chocolate

Member since 4/06

2047 total posts

Name:
Stef

My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

Buy an experience for them...get tickets to the Christmas Spectacular, Alladin, Berenstein Bears Live, Big Apple Circus. Toys will get broken or lost. You will make memories.

Posted 11/16/15 11:10 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17792 total posts

Name:

My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

For me, my mom is the culprit. She is a huge fan of Christmas and buys my kids a lot of things (to the point where I only get them 1 or 2 things each since we celebrate Christmas morning with them).

While I am grateful... it's difficult for me in the fact that my inlaws want to give them something extra special too.




Message edited 11/16/2015 3:02:00 PM.

Posted 11/16/15 2:39 PM
 

WonderLady
LIF Infant

Member since 1/15

355 total posts

Name:

My MIL bought my entire amazon wishlist for my kids....HELP

I just can't get on board. Talk about first world problems...

Posted 11/16/15 4:14 PM
 
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