If you actually DID pick up everything and move... - Updated

Do you regret your decision?

DH and I have wanted to leave NY since about 2010, but in order to do so we've spent the last 5 years in Canada - he was transferred temporarily - and now it's time to go.

We got our dream location, Jacksonville FL, and while we are SO excited to never see a winter ever again I am nervous. What if I hate it? There is no going back now, at all, we are in this until the kids graduate HS or DH gets a major promotion.

If you didn't love your new locale at first, how did you make it work for you?


Update:

So we just got back and I am so sad - to be in Canada. I didn't want to leave! Jacksonville was amazing, there are so many houses for sale, it's gorgeous and exactly what we want, and 3 hours from my ILs (who are awesome - it's a good thing )

I can't wait to start house hunting. Thanks for all your input everyone!

Message edited 5/26/2016 7:51:01 PM.

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

No regrets at all! But i will say the first year was HARD! You have to give time. Things will not be magical. We love FL and could never imagine going back to long island. We've made so many great friends that are family now. It's a different way of life, but the trade offs are worth it. The weather, the beautiful area, a new home, low taxes, everything is so "new", not run down. Just give it time, you will love it!

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

We've done it multiple times (Atlanta, Seattle, and Durham, NC) and LI is the only place that we've regretted moving to. We're here another 2 years while we both finish our degrees, but for now we're just focusing on the things we really like (close to the city, beaches, opportunity to visit places around like Boston and PA) and trying to ignore the stuff we don't like by filling our time with school work and mini-trips with the family.

Definitely don't decide you don't like a new place for at least a year. It takes a while to get the lay of the land and find your community (friends, etc).

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

No regrets it will be 3 years come this October that we've moved here to NH. It was like a dream. Everything just fell into place, my kids hadn't started school yet so I didn't feel bad about pulling them from tons of friends. My dh and I have veryyyy little family. Those we did leave behind are welcome anytime to visit and they do. We're 4 hours from NY. I've been back one time in 3 years. Honestly I love when it's time to come back home.

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

I've done it a few times; once right out of college, moving to AZ with my then BF (now DH), back to LI and then back to AZ because we realized we actually loved it here.

The first time I lived in AZ, I pretty much hated it for the first 5 years we lived here. It was very different than NY, all of my family was back east and I struggled to make friends not in a school setting. We also didn't have our DD at the time, so there were no mom friends to make either. I eventually just changed my attitude and got into the lifestyle out here; outdoorsy stuff, hiking, camping, running - made a bunch of friends, eventually went back to school myself and made even more friends and life became awesome. I never wanted to leave.

Then DH finished his PhD and was jobless - coincidentally, he got a postdoc on LI and we moved back. I was so excited at first because I thought, well, if I can't live in AZ, the only other place I'd want to be is NY. No. Just no. We were miserable living there. Between the costs, the commutes, the weather, the people, the lack of time...It made us really appreciate the ease of life in AZ. I'm surprised our marriage survived our 3 yrs in NY, DH and I have never been more unhappy.

As his postdoc came to an end, he received a job offer back in Tucson - we had 3 weeks to move. We jumped and never looked back. We've been back here 2 yrs now and everything is amazing and getting better every day. We are healthier, happier and our careers are taking off. And, my parents, lifelong LI residents, made the decision to pick up and join us out here last summer and they too have never been happier.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

DH & I consider it but we have such a tight-knit group of friends that we grew up with. I'm not sure how easy it would be to make new ones at this age, especially without kids.

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

DH and I did a few years ago for a job for me. We went to California. But we did it knowing it wouldn't be permanent. It was hard being away from all our family and friends. I'm from LI DH is from NJ. It was really difficult to make friends because I worked alone and most of Dhs coworkers lived far from us and had kids. We tried a few meet ups but most of the people were a lot younger than us.

We spent 3 years in Cali and I was so happy to come back last year. It was an experience I will never forget and don't regret but I'm happy to be back near family and friends again. Plus we never could have afforded a house in Cali (San Fran) area and bought a brand new house here. I know how not typical that sounds.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

I moved to Jacksonville, FL after I graduated college, we spent 5 years there and after our son was born, decided to move closer to family.

Made great friends in Jax that I still talk to on a weekly basis (8 years later). There are a lot of transplants in Jax so it is easy to find friends who need new friends - i feel like everyone in NY has their clique of friends and sticks to those people rather than branching out to new friends.

Jax is huge - lots of different neighborhoods -- research each area thoroughly (crime is on the rise) but the weather can't be beat--3 seasons and blue sky winters :)

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Thank you all so much!

We are heading to Jax this week to check out different neighborhoods and hopefully I'll be able to get a better idea of what living there would be like. I'm excited but so nervous! The one thing that keeps me going is knowing that we could never happily live in NY again - between the snow and the cost of living we would be miserable. So Florida is the best choice for us!

Message edited 5/16/2016 8:08:30 AM.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Just wanted to say good luck!!!! I can't believe you've been in Canada for FIVE YEARS already!!!...............I remember when you relocated!!!! I hope everything works out great for you in FL!!!! You'll have such a nicer quality of life than on the island, I think you'll be fine!!!

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

We moved to Jacksonville 2 years ago this week! LOVE it! NO regrets! When we moved our kids were 8 months and 4. It hasn't always been easy and it's hard to be somewhere with no family and initially no friends but our quality of life is SO much better and we are so happy.

We do have "winter" in that it can get cold (30's/40's) but the temps fluctuate so much that after 2 cold days we'll have a 60 degree day. It's wonderful!!

We love where we live. My husbands 1.5 hr commute to Wall St is now a 20 minute drive. We see him so much more. We're outside all the time.

Hope you love it! It's not perfect but it's pretty good.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

We did and came back 3 months later . Lol we miss LI , we tried FL , maybe we'd try again when we retire but wasn't for us .

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Oh wow didn't know so many people from LI are in Jacksonville .. I been here for 10 month but moved from another part of Florida to here. I been out of Long Island for 7 years Total now and no regrets. So far loving Jacksonville

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by Hofstra26

Just wanted to say good luck!!!! I can't believe you've been in Canada for FIVE YEARS already!!!...............I remember when you relocated!!!! I hope everything works out great for you in FL!!!! You'll have such a nicer quality of life than on the island, I think you'll be fine!!!

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Message edited 5/17/2016 8:00:24 AM.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by Hofstra26

Just wanted to say good luck!!!! I can't believe you've been in Canada for FIVE YEARS already!!!...............I remember when you relocated!!!! I hope everything works out great for you in FL!!!! You'll have such a nicer quality of life than on the island, I think you'll be fine!!!

Thank you!! What is even stranger to me is that the kids have lived most of their lives in Canada! We keep having to remind them that they are American

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

We moved to Jacksonville 2 years ago this week! LOVE it! NO regrets! When we moved our kids were 8 months and 4. It hasn't always been easy and it's hard to be somewhere with no family and initially no friends but our quality of life is SO much better and we are so happy.

We do have "winter" in that it can get cold (30's/40's) but the temps fluctuate so much that after 2 cold days we'll have a 60 degree day. It's wonderful!!

We love where we live. My husbands 1.5 hr commute to Wall St is now a 20 minute drive. We see him so much more. We're outside all the time.

Hope you love it! It's not perfect but it's pretty good.

Holy cow haha, so many people going to Jax! I am even more excited now If you don't mind sharing what neighborhood are you in?

Message edited 5/17/2016 12:06:36 PM.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

We moved to Jacksonville 2 years ago this week! LOVE it! NO regrets! When we moved our kids were 8 months and 4. It hasn't always been easy and it's hard to be somewhere with no family and initially no friends but our quality of life is SO much better and we are so happy.

We do have "winter" in that it can get cold (30's/40's) but the temps fluctuate so much that after 2 cold days we'll have a 60 degree day. It's wonderful!!

We love where we live. My husbands 1.5 hr commute to Wall St is now a 20 minute drive. We see him so much more. We're outside all the time.

Hope you love it! It's not perfect but it's pretty good.

Holy cow haha, so many people going to Jax! I am even more excited now If you don't mind sharing what neighborhood are you in?

We live in Nocatee! LOVE it!

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

We moved to Jacksonville 2 years ago this week! LOVE it! NO regrets! When we moved our kids were 8 months and 4. It hasn't always been easy and it's hard to be somewhere with no family and initially no friends but our quality of life is SO much better and we are so happy.

We do have "winter" in that it can get cold (30's/40's) but the temps fluctuate so much that after 2 cold days we'll have a 60 degree day. It's wonderful!!

We love where we live. My husbands 1.5 hr commute to Wall St is now a 20 minute drive. We see him so much more. We're outside all the time.

Hope you love it! It's not perfect but it's pretty good.

Holy cow haha, so many people going to Jax! I am even more excited now If you don't mind sharing what neighborhood are you in?

We live in Nocatee! LOVE it!

Nocatee is #1 on our list!! I can't wait to go check it out Leaving tomorrow!

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by wakemeup

Posted by pnbplus1

We moved to Jacksonville 2 years ago this week! LOVE it! NO regrets! When we moved our kids were 8 months and 4. It hasn't always been easy and it's hard to be somewhere with no family and initially no friends but our quality of life is SO much better and we are so happy.

We do have "winter" in that it can get cold (30's/40's) but the temps fluctuate so much that after 2 cold days we'll have a 60 degree day. It's wonderful!!

We love where we live. My husbands 1.5 hr commute to Wall St is now a 20 minute drive. We see him so much more. We're outside all the time.

Hope you love it! It's not perfect but it's pretty good.

Holy cow haha, so many people going to Jax! I am even more excited now If you don't mind sharing what neighborhood are you in?

We live in Nocatee! LOVE it!

Nocatee is #1 on our list!! I can't wait to go check it out Leaving tomorrow!

Yay! If you have any questions feel free to FM me. We love living here. I'd say 90% of people are from somewhere else so we're all in the same boat, hoping to find friends and make this home.

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

I regretted one move. We have lived in a bunch of places. But I regretted moving the the Midwest. We lived in the Midwest for a few years. Near a pretty big metro area not in the middle of nowhere or anything and I hated it. It was the only time I felt depressed. I was lonely. Everything was so different. Yeah, the cost of living was low but you play a price for that. I like areas that are more cosmopolitan, great food, fashion etc. and you could really get that there. Plus everyone who lived there grew up there so it was nearly impossible to make friends.

I was so happy when we moved to NY from there! I'm not from NY but after having lived in 6 states there are only a couple of other places I would live other than NY.

If you actually DID pick up everything and move...

we moved from Long Island to Charlotte, NC in 2004 - yes, there was quite a transition period (I think I cried the whole way down - lol) but we love it here in NC and could not imagine living in NY again - no regrets - our family is all close by now which helps

Re: If you actually DID pick up everything and move...