I just want to kill DH

I know this is partly hormones but at the same time, I am now hysterical. I have known for about 7 weeks I'm having twin boys. Prior to finding out the genders we tossed around names- I had initially posted about Benjamin and Oliver for my boys. DH is the biggest pain (toss in a few other choice words) when we talk boy names he only suggests his first and middle name as the names he likes, and it's really pissing me off. I told him I refused to have one named after him, that it's unfair to the other twin. He agrees on Benjamin and Oliver and that's how I know them and then he takes it back every other day, tries to discuss names and only suggests his name and it's not happening. He did it to me again this morning and I blew up at him saying it's not happening that one twin isn't going to be named after him. I'm so tired of it. I don't know what he doesn't get that it's not fair to the other boy. I can't take it anymore. It's so frustrating and I just can't. I'm so angry at him for doing this to me and the babies and I feel at this point he's just being selfish thinking of his own feelings and not the impact it will have on them. I just can't. I don't even want to speak to him anymore about the babies because of this and he's really really upsetting me. I don't know what to do. His family is a bunch of jerks and thinks I'm being selfish. Like seriously? He's having 2 boys to carry on his last name. It's not like my husband is a junior and rd a family name that he has- I could understand from that perspective. And his brother is the biggest jerk making him feel like crap about not naming one after him. I don't get why these jerks even think they have a say?!?! I am so angry and upset and I don't even know what to say anymore to get it through my husband's head that naming one boy after him isn't happening aside from just putting what I want on a birth certificate and could care less if he signs it or not at this point that's how angry I am.

Sorry for ranting I'm just completely distraught over this and even more devistated that he keeps doing this especially when I refer to each baby by their names that we agreed on- or at least I guess I did?

I just want to kill DH

What about having their middle names be his name? That way they are each a bit named after him.

I just want to kill DH

One of their middle names was supposed to be his first name and the other after my grandfather. I feel like he shouldnt be able to consume both names with himself-what about family names important to me? And he was fine wth that, but then he switches off like a light and he has just become so insistent that one baby is a junior after him. I told him how are you going to decide that? What? The bottom baby was first out so yay you get dad's name? That is just so wrong.
I honestly wouldn't have cared if he named a baby after him if it was a single pregnancy or they were boy/ girl. I'm not a fan of naming a baby after the father but i would have probably just gave in, but with 2 boys being born within minutes of each other hell no I need to stand my ground on this. I feel like with twins it's just so different than having 2 boys a few years apart

Message edited 10/8/2016 11:09:24 AM.

I just want to kill DH

I'm sorry, I know how annoying it is! My dh and I agreed on a name fairly easily and a long time ago, but whenever he tells someone the name he says we are naming him "xx" but I wanted "yy" and she said no. Meanwhile we NEVER discussed "yy" as even being an option!! It drives me nuts and makes me SO angry!!

What if you named one boy "dh first name, a middle name" and the second boy "dh middle name, grandpas first name" or something like that?

I just want to kill DH

Compromise. You have four names needed. You each pick two. One middle and one first, but you have to agree.

Re: I just want to kill DH

I just want to kill DH

Honestly the more I think of it, the more I just feel like waiting till they are born. I want to see them, I want DH to see his twin boys next to each other and then ask him- so who gets to be "DH name" because I know once he sees them he will feel differently

Re: I just want to kill DH

I just want to kill DH

Probably not the answer you want to hear but I actually would be ok with naming the first twin born after my DH and the second another meaningful name or something else we liked. To me it's really no different than naming the first singleton son after your husband. It's predetermined in a sense. But I agree maybe wait till their born. When you see them you'll know what is right for you all.

Message edited 10/8/2016 1:44:17 PM.

I just want to kill DH

I agree with you 100%, but I also find it obnoxious when boys are named after their fathers. What about choosing a family name from his side as one of the middle names? So they would be Benjamin and Oliver and then one would have your grandfather's name as his middle and the other's middle name would be from his side.

Re: I just want to kill DH

Message edited 10/8/2016 4:24:37 PM.

I just want to kill DH

I am not a fan of having children named after their parents so I totally understand where you are coming from--whould you consider giving both boys your DH's name for a middle name as a compromise?
Just an FYI your DH doesn't sign the birth certificates only you sign the applications. My DH was a lot more interested in finding a name for dd that we both liked once he learned that information.

Re: I just want to kill DH

I just want to kill DH

If we had a boy, we would name him after DH. I don't think I would feel differently having twins or 2 boys of separate ages, I would just name the first born after DH. I don't think it's favoring 1 over the other. But, I completely get the name disagreement. You have to both agree. We're having our third girl and DH wants to name this girl after him :( I would go along with it, except I really dislike all the girl names that are a form of his name. Even my mom says I should name her after him. I just can't give my DD a name I don't like.

Re: I just want to kill DH

Personally, I hate naming kids after their parents. I don't know why... I just feel like they should have their own identity and not just be junior.

But even if I did like it, I totally get what you are saying about the twins. I just wouldn't even acknowledge it at this point. They are both of your kids- you have to agree on the names. I think using his names as the boys' middle names would be a great compromise though.

I just want to kill DH

Thanks everyone for the advice and feedback! We still aren't even discussing names or the names we originally chose. We will see where this goes....

Re: I just want to kill DH

DH and I had a list of names. We never decided which was which cause like u said one is Baby A and because he is on top that's his name? No, I agree with you.

We have twin boys also. I carried this list of names in my wallet for months. Mind you we did not name them until the day we were leaving the hospital!!! We just kept calling them baby, sweet baby, my little guy, little man, you name it.

We finally got the list out and held each one and it was like we both knew. We both said the name for our younger twin at the exact same moment. For the older twin, I was holding him reading the list of names one by one and staring at him. When I said his name, he opened his eyes real wide and kept them open looking at me. We were like yup, that's his name.

They are going to be 5 next month and I can't imagine them with any other names now!!!

Re: I just want to kill DH

My dh wanted to name our DS after himself but I was against it- dh is named after his father and we've run into issues because they have the same name (bills getting mixed up, issue when we refinanced our house) so I told dh I did not want DS to have the same name. However we did name ds something similar to dh's name and we both liked the name.