how do i end these morning battles?

My daughter just started Kindergarten & she's not loving it.
I don't really blame her, the way school is these days, but that's beside the point.
She just stalls all morning, won't do anything I ask & it always ends with me dragging her upstairs to brush her teeth, ripping her pjs off & dressing her myself while she's complaining & rolling her eyes with her teenage attitude
Any ideas of how to end the madness & get off on a better track in the morning would be appreciated.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

DD loves school but she is the same exact way!

I think a lot has to do with her having an earlier start this year- her school changed ours and she has to start at 830 am and be at the bus stop before 8 am.

She is not a morning person and needs a lot of time to get going- eat breakfast, watch her ipad, play, etc.

What i find is I have her get dressed as soon as she gets up. I try to lay the clothes out the night before (doesn't always happen but...)

Then after she is dressed she can watch her ipad while eating breakfast. As soon as she is done with breakfast she has to brush her teeth, brush her hair, get her shoes on and get her backpack ready- basically be all ready to go.

Then any spare time that is left she can watch tv, play or go back to her ipad.

I find that if I keep it regimented like that, there are less battles.

But I feel ya- some mornings I am screaming, she is screaming and it's an all out battle.
I think it's the age to be honest.

how do i end these morning battles?

My daughter is the SAME exact way! She hates Kindergarten and I also don't blame her. With behavior issues like that I used to use charts which never worked. The past week I started a positive reinforcement jar with all 3 kids. Everytime they do something good they get a Pom Pom (those little craft balls) in the jar. When the jar is filled they get $2. It could takes weeks or a month to fill it up. And they can get a Pom for anything. You went to bed nicely last night, here is a Pom to put in your jar. You got yourself dressed this morning or you didn't give me any issues getting ready this morning, here are 4 poms. I use all different sized poms so when I give them 4 poms I use the really tiny ones, ha! But they still think it'll fill their jar faster. We've actually only been doing it since Friday and it's already helped. They are kinder to each other, they play nicely, DD for the most part got ready for school this morning and didn't give me many problems. All good deeds stay in the jar, so they never lose poms. But I do remind them if they do something wrong that the behavior at the moment isn't what earns them a Pom. For us it's been working but like I said, it's only been a few days. Good luck, I know it's hard when they say they don't like school but and even though you agree with them you have to disagree with them!

Message edited 10/24/2016 12:48:21 PM.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Both of my girls struggle with the mornings. I have found waking them up 30 min earlier helps give them time and keeps things calmer. We get dressed first thing. Then breakfast, brushing teeth brushing hair.
Some days are better than others. You are not alone!

how do i end these morning battles?

DD loves school, yet some mornings are just impossible to get her moving. I agree with PP about getting her up earlier. Even 15 minutes makes a big difference.
Also, what I have to do sometimes is make everything a race. DD is super competitive, so I'll say things like "ok, which one of us can get to the bathroom first? Or which one of us can brush our teeth the fastest?"

how do i end these morning battles?

I don't have any suggestions b/c DS can be the same way, but one way we cut down on a fight was to put him in his clothes for the next day after he bathes at night. I don't think DS has worn PJs in 4 years. I know it's harder for girls b/c of their outfits, but DS usually just wears sweat pants and a t-shirt so it doesn't really look wrinkled the next day.

I know that's not a great solution for everyone's family, but I just wanted to let you know that it's not just your family that has difficulties in the morning!

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Can you give some type of incentive? Maybe start with one morning where she gets herself ready without issue and then increase it. After x number of times where she has a good morning, you can do something special with her. It doesn't have to be big, but something to show how proud you are of her for being responsible and getting ready in the morning.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

I don't know what time you're out of the house, but I have to catch a train, so the BS isn't an option, and mine know it.

We have a routine - Get up, get dressed, face/teeth/hair, make your bed, put on shoes and ONLY then are you allowed access to the TV/iPad -
If I let them hang out and 'relax' right out of bed I'd be dragging them all over the place. They have to be ready to walk out the door before they get to chill ........

It works for us - They are K & 2nd grade.

IMO this isn't something they should need an incentive for. (my kids, in my house - not anyone else's) This is real, every day life. It's a reasonable expectation that they are ready to leave on time. I'm not rewarding you for getting dressed in the morning, it's necessary. I DO make a fuss when they make their beds super neat or their toys are put away without my asking or something like that ......but everything else? Nah -

Message edited 10/27/2016 4:15:20 PM.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Posted by MarisaK

I don't know what time you're out of the house, but I have to catch a train, so the BS isn't an option, and mine know it.

We have a routine - Get up, get dressed, face/teeth/hair, make your bed, put on shoes and ONLY then are you allowed access to the TV/iPad -
If I let them hang out and 'relax' right out of bed I'd be dragging them all over the place. They have to be ready to walk out the door before they get to chill ........

It works for us - They are K & 2nd grade.

IMO this isn't something they should need an incentive for. (my kids, in my house - not anyone else's) This is real, every day life. It's a reasonable expectation that they are ready to leave on time. I'm not rewarding you for getting dressed in the morning, it's necessary. I DO make a fuss when they make their beds super neat or their toys are put away without my asking or something like that ......but everything else? Nah -

Message edited 10/27/2016 4:32:37 PM.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Def helps to get them up early. We wake 1.5 hours before they need to be on a bus. This seems to "flow" well. Everything, including what to eat on any day of the week is scheduled.
They get dressed, eat breakfast, pack backpack, watch tv, brush teeth, put on coat/shoes and get out the door.
If they are late in getting up, they miss the TV.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Posted by stinger

Posted by MarisaK

I don't know what time you're out of the house, but I have to catch a train, so the BS isn't an option, and mine know it.

We have a routine - Get up, get dressed, face/teeth/hair, make your bed, put on shoes and ONLY then are you allowed access to the TV/iPad -
If I let them hang out and 'relax' right out of bed I'd be dragging them all over the place. They have to be ready to walk out the door before they get to chill ........

It works for us - They are K & 2nd grade.

IMO this isn't something they should need an incentive for. (my kids, in my house - not anyone else's) This is real, every day life. It's a reasonable expectation that they are ready to leave on time. I'm not rewarding you for getting dressed in the morning, it's necessary. I DO make a fuss when they make their beds super neat or their toys are put away without my asking or something like that ......but everything else? Nah -

Omg your kids make their beds too? I obviously did something wrong

Also wondering if OP is a SAHM with a kid who is now in school vs you and othwrs who may have had to deal with getting out for daycare/work from when they were weeks old?

how do i end these morning battles?

That's not possible in our house b/c DS gets up *way* before we do. We taught him how to turn on Netflix to his profile and now he watches Youtube Kids on his ipod touch. By the time we wake up, he's already been up for an hour. That's when it's time for breakfast, etc.

However, to get him to do the other stuff (brush teeth, make bed, etc), we have a "no devices" policy after 8am (bus comes at 8:40) so we use that time to get stuff done.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

DS has the same issue, but some days are better than others. So I first try the competitive route, as other pp suggested. I also have a checklist, also what another pp suggested. He gets a star of each task and once he gets at least 25 stars we have a movie night at home usually on Fridays:

Dressed
Make bed
Breakfast
Brush teeth


Then he can watch TV, once the above is done.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

My 4th grader is the same way. My son in K is pretty good. It depends on the kid. My husband recently switched his hours so its me getting them ready and I have a 3 week old. We lay everything out the night before. They get up, get dressed, brush hair and teeth and then downstairs for breakfast. I'm not sure you have to do a sticker chart. It can't hurt. Maybe a lot of verbal praise would work. Sometimes its really just a matter of switching your routine and finding what works for your kid.

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

Posted by MarisaK

I don't know what time you're out of the house, but I have to catch a train, so the BS isn't an option, and mine know it.

We have a routine - Get up, get dressed, face/teeth/hair, make your bed, put on shoes and ONLY then are you allowed access to the TV/iPad -
If I let them hang out and 'relax' right out of bed I'd be dragging them all over the place. They have to be ready to walk out the door before they get to chill ........

It works for us - They are K & 2nd grade.

IMO this isn't something they should need an incentive for. (my kids, in my house - not anyone else's) This is real, every day life. It's a reasonable expectation that they are ready to leave on time. I'm not rewarding you for getting dressed in the morning, it's necessary. I DO make a fuss when they make their beds super neat or their toys are put away without my asking or something like that ......but everything else? Nah -

Re: how do i end these morning battles?

I have 4 kids 10 and under and with early morning activities, I don't have time to encourage them to get ready for school. They know they are to get up, eat, brush teeth, get dressed...then they can play legos or watch tv if they have time. The older ones will also help my youngest get ready.

We do not allow ipads/video games during the week (we even try to minimize electronic usage on weekends). One less battle.

And yeah, I sometimes yell to get their gears moving faster.

Message edited 11/14/2016 10:00:40 PM.

how do i end these morning battles?

Try a rewards chart/token board and give her a star and praise her every time she does something good (brush teeth, get dressed, etc.) After the 5th star she can pick something from a prize box (like a cute lunch box from five below or a bigger box - depending on what you want to put in it) and you can buy little prizes from the dollar store, target, the pharmacy, etc. I use the Kenson kids caterpillar chart from amazon - it has a magnet and goes on the fridge - super cute! You should try to give her one reward a day.

how do i end these morning battles?

DS is also in kindergarten.... he happens to love it, but some mornings are still a little bit of a battle. like a couple other people said, i feel like getting him up even a few minutes earlier to give him more time to ease into the day helps a lot. he gets up around 7:30 and his bus comes at about 8:30, so he has about an hour to wake up a little bit.
i get him up at about 7:30, and he eats right away. ( i keep him in his PJS for breakfast, bc he likes waffles and the syrup is a mess!) he watches his iPad while he eats (i'm definitely very lax about screen time. he's an only child, no cousins either, we don't have any family close by--- it is what it is.) when he's done eating, he clears his spot, gets dressed (i lay his clothes out for him), brushes his teeth, and most days i can usually get him to make his bed, too. then if there's time, he can watch a few more minutes of iPad.
i try to make things a little bit of a game, and he likes that. Like-- he sleeps with a stuffed monkey. so i'll say " I bet you and monkey can't make your bed.... or " Monkey? can you help Cole make his bed for me?" LOL its silly, but he responds to that and it gets done. But i definitely find that he needs that extra down time in the morning.... so maybe try getting her up even a few minutes earlier?