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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to gender blues
For anyone that has been Team  did you feel any sadness after the baby was born? I have 2 of the same gender, and while of course I'd be happy with a 3rd I can't help but think I may not be quite as excited after I deliver as I would be if it were the opposite gender. I'm tempted to find out ahead of time because I don't want to feel anything but excited after the baby is born. Of course I feel terrible for feeling this way but at the same time I can't help it 
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Posted 3/14/17 7:56 PM  |
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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1217 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Can't help you since I wasn't team green, but it was for this very reason that I chose to find out. I ended up with three of the same. I think I personally needed to work out my gender disappointment before the baby came. I think some of it (who knows, but it is just my belief) can lead to post partum depression. I felt like it wasn't fair to the baby. That being said, I am a firm believer that the sex of the baby only really matters before the baby is born. I just needed to "mourn" the gender I didn't get to have.
ETA: On the other hand, knowing the gender made my actual pregnancy a lot less exciting (terrible to admit, but true). It was almost like I was embarrassed to be pregnant again with the third. 
Message edited 3/14/2017 11:41:52 PM.
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| Posted 3/14/17 11:38 PM |
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OhMaybeBaby
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 337 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
This is actually one of the reasons I'm Team Green. With my son, I remember deep down really hoping for a girl, but that feeling was out the window when they said "It's a boy!" and placed him in my arms. At that point, it's past the IDEA of a baby, but a real, perfect baby. The exact baby you were supposed to have. I think knowing the gender in advance allows you to overthink your disappointment before the baby arrives and unnecessarily upset you.
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| Posted 3/15/17 7:44 AM |
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phoenix913
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3034 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
I have three of the same and this is why I found out with #2 and #3 (I was team green with #1). Same as a pp- I needed to work through it before the baby came. I don't feel like it dampened the excitement at all. On the contrary, since we did different nurseries for all the kids I really enjoyed getting to pick out personal things for each one and repaint the room etc. Also for #3 we did a ballon box gender reveal and that was super fun and something we didn't do for the others.
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| Posted 3/15/17 7:48 AM |
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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to gender blues
I'm struggling with the exact same issue! I am pregnant with #2 and really really hoping this baby is a boy. I'm terrified that if I wait until the end, and I have another girl, I will have trouble bonding with her. At first I was thinking about staying team green but now I'm not so sure. If I find out the sex now I can feel sorry for myself (so embarrassing to admit it) now and get it out of the way and then get excited for my girl to have a sister.
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| Posted 3/15/17 8:06 AM |
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MayBbaby21
Baby no. 3 coming soon!
Member since 6/09 5738 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Posted by OhMaybeBaby
This is actually one of the reasons I'm Team Green. With my son, I remember deep down really hoping for a girl, but that feeling was out the window when they said "It's a boy!" and placed him in my arms. At that point, it's past the IDEA of a baby, but a real, perfect baby. The exact baby you were supposed to have. I think knowing the gender in advance allows you to overthink your disappointment before the baby arrives and unnecessarily upset you.
This is my reasoning for not finding out again with my 3rd.
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| Posted 3/15/17 8:52 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Posted by MayBbaby21
Posted by OhMaybeBaby
This is actually one of the reasons I'm Team Green. With my son, I remember deep down really hoping for a girl, but that feeling was out the window when they said "It's a boy!" and placed him in my arms. At that point, it's past the IDEA of a baby, but a real, perfect baby. The exact baby you were supposed to have. I think knowing the gender in advance allows you to overthink your disappointment before the baby arrives and unnecessarily upset you.
This is my reasoning for not finding out again with my 3rd.
I feel similarly. I've always wanted a girl, but there was no disappointment either time finding out in the delivery room that I had sons. They were such special moments and I felt nothing but happiness. I'm pregnant with my third and final Team Green baby. If it's another boy, I'd rather find out in the delivery room again because I expect to have that same wonderful moment and if it's a girl, I want to experience that excitement at birth. Besides, I've already received enough comments from people hoping it's a girl that if it's a boy, I don't want to hear anything negative. The girl comments are already annoying me. The only thing that really matters is that the baby is healthy.
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| Posted 3/15/17 12:59 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
I wasn't team green, but had two boys first and when pregnant with my third, I could not imagine waiting until birth to find out the sex. I knew this was my last and really wanted a girl. I could see myself getting sad and depressed post partum if I didn't have a chance to process that information before the birth. So I choose to find out. We got a letter from the doctor's office so we could find out in the privacy of our home. I hope you get the gender you are hoping for!
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| Posted 3/15/17 2:15 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Posted by MayBbaby21
Posted by OhMaybeBaby
This is actually one of the reasons I'm Team Green. With my son, I remember deep down really hoping for a girl, but that feeling was out the window when they said "It's a boy!" and placed him in my arms. At that point, it's past the IDEA of a baby, but a real, perfect baby. The exact baby you were supposed to have. I think knowing the gender in advance allows you to overthink your disappointment before the baby arrives and unnecessarily upset you.
This is my reasoning for not finding out again with my 3rd.
Yep, this was why I didn't find out with my 2nd. I figured after pushing the kid out it wouldn't matter as much what s/he was.
Sidenote: I wanted a girl, desperately. I'll admit it. And I was 90% sure I was having a boy, When she came out and they said it's a girl I looked at DH and said "are you sure???"
If/when we have a 3rd I'll be Team Green again. I've done it both ways and much prefer not knowing.
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| Posted 3/16/17 9:44 AM |
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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to gender blues
Thanks all, glad I'm not alone in feeling this way! I am excited that we are Team Green this time....but I just dont want to have any tinge of disappointment after delivery.
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| Posted 3/16/17 10:25 AM |
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BabyDayz
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 719 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Spinoff to gender blues
This is why Im team green this time, both with DS1 and DS2 we knew ahead of time, found out in the same sono room, etc. If its a boy this time again then ok, but maybe Ill be excited since its at the same time as having the baby. Hope it works!
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| Posted 3/16/17 1:00 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
I was in your shoes a year ago. Initially I wanted to find out but DH talked me into waiting. I rationalized it by saying that it really didn't matter-which it didn't- I wanted a girl but oddly enough I started to have anxiety that it would be a girl and I would have to get all new stuff and it would be a total hassle (preggo hormones making me psycho) so then I was hoping for a boy.
So I had my 3rd boy. If I'm being honest, it was anticlimactic this time around. I'm not sure if it's because I figured it would be a boy so I wasn't surprised or if I was just stunned by my unbelievably fast delivery so I didn't even really react to the gender. I just remember being like "yeah ok. Sounds good" in response to "it's a boy!"  I was excited later after the shock of sudden delivery wore off.
But let me tell ya...this third one..he is freaking awesome! I love this little guy so much. He has a hold on me the other two don't. It's so weird to say but it's true.
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| Posted 3/19/17 11:56 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Posted by FTM427
For anyone that has been Team did you feel any sadness after the baby was born? I have 2 of the same gender, and while of course I'd be happy with a 3rd I can't help but think I may not be quite as excited after I deliver as I would be if it were the opposite gender. I'm tempted to find out ahead of time because I don't want to feel anything but excited after the baby is born. Of course I feel terrible for feeling this way but at the same time I can't help it
i felt exactly like you only we are onto number #4!! I found out and im so glad i did, this time i am having a baby girl after 3 beautiful boys I am thrilled and knowing has even made the pregnancy
so special and surreal. With that said when a already had a son and was expecting twins the last time around i decided to find out. I longed for a daughter (of course healthy baby first) and found out i was having two more boys! Initially I was a little underwhelmed bc in my heart i really wanted one of them to be a girl but to be honest finding out was the best thing I did, if gave me a lot of time to really get excited for two more little precious boys so by the time i was in the delivery room it was nothing but pure joy and excitement!! Their birth and knowing was absolutely amazing, i was even more emotional then the first time around not knowing !! I did do team green for my first son and although that had its own element of fun i actually prefer knowing...it makes the entire process really special for me, helps me bond...i guess everyone is different!!
Message edited 3/21/2017 11:45:39 PM.
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| Posted 3/21/17 11:44 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to gender blues
Posted by FTM427
For anyone that has been Team did you feel any sadness after the baby was born? I have 2 of the same gender, and while of course I'd be happy with a 3rd I can't help but think I may not be quite as excited after I deliver as I would be if it were the opposite gender. I'm tempted to find out ahead of time because I don't want to feel anything but excited after the baby is born. Of course I feel terrible for feeling this way but at the same time I can't help it
Its so tough. I am the one who had written about the gender blues. I did decide to find out before just for this reason. I was so nervous. Obviously didn't decide to stay team green but I do not regret it. It took a while for me to accept that I am having two of the same gender against everyone elses wishes. Nevertheless Ive truly had time to become excited for another little girl. I don't know how I would have reacted if I didn't find out. For me, I needed time to digest the situation but that's me and everyone is different. However, I do believe that EITHER way you will be just fine. Wishing you the very best!
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| Posted 3/22/17 1:33 PM |
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