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noworlater
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1528 total posts
Name:
Now!
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Re: Opinions wanted
No
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Posted 6/22/17 10:01 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
Posted by JandJ1224
Personally I can't imagine it being the other way around and my DH telling me no I can't bring our DD to a family wedding.
I think this really comes down to your husband deciding what he wants. He is the one that will have all of the responsibility.
This is how I look at it, but my husband would not want that responsibility at all.
The only way he would think about it is if he could bring a helper or two (we have twins) if there was a room for them to sleep, and even then the chance of him wanting to do that is slim to none (and he is very capable).
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| Posted 6/22/17 10:40 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
Depending on how many weeks before my due date, we might drive to the wedding together. I wouldn't be comfortable sending her without me. I don't think DH would want to travel alone with any of our children either.
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| Posted 6/23/17 12:30 AM |
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edfilippi
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 997 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Opinions wanted
I sounds great...you get a couple days of quiet before having baby #2. But honestly I wouldn't feel comfortable either. It will definitely be pass the baby. Weddings I feel are an adult function. My 2 boys were in my sisters wedding and sil wedding but after they were annouced in - we had a close friend pick them up and bring them home. I wouldnt feel comfortable my child going to a wedding without me.
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| Posted 6/23/17 7:27 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
No, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending my daughter.
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| Posted 6/23/17 7:33 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
i tihnk it would be different if he wasn't flying with her... He's gotta worry about a stroller, a car seat, and all of the other baby essentials. Sounds like wayyyy too much for one person. I don't even think I would go with DD without Dh. I would need his help.
ETA: I brought this post up to DH. He said he would never want to do all of that on his own because he wouldn't want to leave the wedding at 7pm. That's basically when weddings start now.
As a total side note, I agree with kids being at the ceremony, but I don't think children should be at a wedding reception. It's an adult event and I feel like they take the attention away from the bride in a way.
Message edited 6/23/2017 10:30:19 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/17 8:09 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
It's a personal decision.
On one hand, a wedding is a mess and he may have to go to bed early, or even leave early with a kid. I don't think the kid will be harmed by others drinking.
On the other hand, it's your hubby's sister. That's really close family. And she wants the girl there as her flower girl. That's sweet. My own kids have been invited and have gone to weddings around that age. They have had a great time and have fallen asleep at the table towards the end and haven't been a problem at all.
Personally, I'd try to go if you are feeling well enough and you are close enough to a medical center (but it would have freaked me out if it were my first child). Otherwise, I would send my daughter. I'd only be bummed that I would miss out on the memories of seeing her as a flower girl at a wedding!
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| Posted 6/23/17 8:46 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Opinions wanted
I honestly can't believe how many people are saying they wouldn't be comfortable with their DH traveling with their child. People travel solo with children all the time.
There will be a lot of FAMILY there to help take care of her. It's not like it is just your DH the entire weekend.
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One idea is to start letting him take the lead on caring for her over the weekends so he can see what it is really like without help.
Message edited 6/23/2017 9:07:25 AM.
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| Posted 6/23/17 9:07 AM |
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MissShelly
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/13 32 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
Posted by JandJ1224
Personally I can't imagine it being the other way around and my DH telling me no I can't bring our DD to a family wedding.
I think this really comes down to your husband deciding what he wants. He is the one that will have all of the responsibility.
^ This. TBH, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't be the only one making the decision. My DH is a big boy and regularly takes responsibility for our LOs alone. I would hope your husband is smart enough to realize that having his child with him means he can't stay out partying until 1 am. That being said, you're not at all crazy or mean to be feeling the way you do. I would definitely find it hard to let them go, but if he and the family want her to be there, and he's willing to make those sacrifices, then I don't think you should stand in his way. You keep saying it should be about your SIL getting married, but SHE asked to have your daughter there.
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| Posted 6/23/17 9:41 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
I agree with everyone that says your DH should be able to make the decision. If he is not comfortable with it then by all means, keep her home. But if he thinks he can handle it...go for it! Let him know your concerns about needing to leave the wedding early, not being able to drink too much etc. In the end, I am sure he will surprise you and they will have a great time.
As another posted mentioned, I would be pissed if DH told me not to let my kids be in a family wedding bc he didnt want me to go alone.
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| Posted 6/23/17 9:48 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
I would definitely send her. It's a major family occasion and her family wants her there. I would also be happy to have a break at that point in my pregnancy.
If you are uncomfortable with it being 3 days, can DH just go for 2?
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| Posted 6/23/17 9:56 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
Posted by JandJ1224
Personally I can't imagine it being the other way around and my DH telling me no I can't bring our DD to a family wedding.
I think this really comes down to your husband deciding what he wants. He is the one that will have all of the responsibility.
I responded before I read the thread but now that I saw this, I totally agree. I didn't think of it like that. If DH wouldn't let me bring my sons to my brother's wedding, it would be a major problem.
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| Posted 6/23/17 10:00 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Opinions wanted
If DH wanted to do this, then he would do this. Of course I never like being far away from my kids, but they are DH's kids too and he's equally capable of handling any situation.
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| Posted 6/23/17 10:38 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Opinions wanted
My initial reaction is nope, nope, nope. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. My DH is very trusting of other people. I would not be comfortable with him passing off my baby to god knows who. There are so many things that can happen in a house of people partying. It's not that I don't trust DH, it's that he trusts everybody. If he agreed not to drink at all, and not pass my child off to anyone else, I might be fine with it.
You know your DH better than anyone here. It's your responsibility to keep your child safe. If that means putting your foot down rather than send your child into a potentially unsafe scenario for days ... then so be it. Better safe than sorry. Honestly, SIL will be so busy the day of her wedding, she won't have time to spend with your daughter anyway. All the other adults will play with DD for 5 minutes and then go back to celebrating.
I typed a novel of other reasons that make me think it isn't a good idea. I erased them though cause it occurred to me that the past 3 events we went to with our toddler (a local wedding, a funeral because I had no childcare and it was an immediate family member, and a baptism) I had to take my toddler outside at every single one to prevent him from screaming and playing around. Little kids don't sit nicely. Is your DH going to be ok having to walk out of his sisters wedding ceremony if DD won't sit quietly?
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| Posted 6/23/17 12:03 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Opinions wanted
I would not be comfortable sending my DD at all.
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| Posted 6/23/17 2:05 PM |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Opinions wanted
Nope.
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| Posted 6/23/17 3:24 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
I told my SIL no for her wedding, and it wasn't OOS. DS was 13 months old at the time of her wedding, and it was outdoors in August. My son was barely walking. I had no idea if it was going to be a 100 degree day or not, and he was at the age where he would just scream for no reason. He was too young.
If I were in your situation, I would say no because of the accommodations.
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| Posted 6/23/17 3:34 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Opinions wanted
Nope not a chance... with the situation you described, if anything happened to her I'd never forgive myself... and I'd spend the whole time wondering how she was doing & what was going on. It's easy for them to say, "oh her aunts are there" but are they really going to take care of her like you would? She's still so young! I'm too much of a control freak to be comfortable with that. If it was driving distance & not overnight & she were older, then I'd probably be ok with it.
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| Posted 6/24/17 12:16 AM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Opinions wanted
Why don't you all drive and just take frequent breaks. That way everyone can be involved.
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| Posted 6/27/17 7:43 AM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
Life is too short. If they want her there and Dh is comfortable bringing her, then I say enjoy a few days alone or go with them.
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| Posted 6/27/17 9:10 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Opinions wanted
Posted by Lauren82
I'm going to be honest...I wouldn't send my daughter and my husband wouldn't want that all on him either. I know my husband is capable, but when you are the only parent there, you don't get to tag someone else in...I would want him to go and enjoy his sister's wedding without having to leave early from everything. Hope you can come to a solution that works for both of you!
this
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| Posted 6/27/17 11:28 AM |
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jame0801
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/11 428 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
I think this comes down to your DH and how he handles situations alone with your DD. When my DH's stepdad passed away my DD was 2. I couldnt go and he flew to Florida alone with her and all was good. But thats a whole different ballgame than a wedding. U stated a few times u didnt feel your DH would know not to drink too much, know not to leave early etc...so for all those reasons I would recommend telling him to go alone. If he is adament and says he can do it than u may have to give in.
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| Posted 6/27/17 3:00 PM |
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Watever143
LIF Adult
Member since 12/10 1537 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted
Here is my thing... My Dh and In law could def take my DD with no problems. But.....My almost 3 yr old was just in 2 wedding and didnt do good at all at being a flower girl aka crying for both and not walking down. Mostly bc it interfered with naps, long days and a little shy. I am preggo so drinking wasnt my option but I was a little miserable bc she was clinged to me. I ended up giving her a tablet most of the night just so we can all have some time to enjoy the weddings. But after the party of course someone needs to go back to hotel to put the baby to sleep and I felt bad so it was me. So everyone situation is different.
Do you think your child could handle a long day, missed nap and shyness?
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| Posted 6/27/17 3:40 PM |
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brooke23
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/11 482 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted
thank you ALL for your opinions. I do see the point about if the shoe were on the other foot I wouldnt want DH to tell me no etc. ...we went to d.c. last weekend-- it was our first real trip with DD and she was horrible in the car and then when we finally got to d.c. (at midnight - we left at bed time so she'd sleep) she didnt go back to sleep until 3 a.m. and DH was flipping out and then slept in bed with us. I just dont see him as capable of handling her by himself for days (as I said, she's a high energy kid and not easy, go with the flow kid) and know that she will be passed off to aunts, uncles and grandparents....which just doesnt float well with me. I dont want to deny his family the opportunity to have her there, but the housing, drinking thing bothers me ....I guess we'll have to talk about it. I dont think he or his family has really thought this through. Not to mention the airplane situation etc. We are flying this weekend and the plannign we are doing for that-- well, I cant imagine DH doing THAT alone -- I know I couldnt. And driving is not an option-- 5 hours to d.c. was bad enough with her in the car -- no way could she do more than that (nor could/would I at 8 months pregnant at that time). I see all of your points and also feel good that I'm not the only one who would have concerns/a potential problem with her going without me
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| Posted 6/27/17 5:12 PM |
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