Private School?

My son was diagnosed with ASD (HF) at 2. He has progressed well but very active. He has an IEP and over time in K he developed a lot of aggression. Did not want to do his work anymore and got angry a lot. The school staff they blamed it on his ADD side... that the work was too hard or difficult. He is too impulsive. We questioned it a little since he was not like this at home. And he has learned and doing above average in school. All his scores are 90+ percentile and he is reading chapter books. So not sure why the staff would say the work is too hard because obviously he is learning?

He tells us the work is boring for him and he absolutely hates that he is forced to take breaks at certain times, hates the reward system (sticker chart) and hates that he has an aide stuck to his side every step of the way. But the staff said he needed all of this and they could not remove it off his IEP.

At school he also had no one that wanted to play with him. He was always alone at recess. Occasionally the girls will let him run with them.

Now that summer is here, he is back to the happy self I knew before K. He is at camp in the morning and the counselors recently told us he has been great. Engages with other kids, shares his toys, respectful to the staff and listens when they tell him to do or not do something. We have had playdates with other children and he has been great. Happy and engaging.

Then recently we went to a bday party from a child in his K class and it was back to the same.... he was isolated and no one wanted anything to do with him. He tried to engage and the kids would run off. There is one child in particular that is not nice to him and intentionally pulls the other children away from him.

I have questioned this before at school, but the teacher and staff brush it off and go back to his diagnosis.

My husband and I are now thinking perhaps the current school is just not right for him. He's handcuffed at school and not able to learn beyond what he is capable of. The kids want nothing to do with him because he has different interests. He likes talking about computers, coding, reading (these are the type of kids he has engaged well with over the summer).

And seeing how these children in his class were treating him at the bday party, I can totally understand now why he grew so much aggression and anxiety over the year at K.

Anyways, we realize when he goes back there for first grade, it is going to be the same thing again. No friends. Kids avoid him. The school staff makes him do the same stuff over and over again even after he may be beyond that. Then they label him as the problem child because he wants to learn more.

Sorry for this long rant... but was just wondering if anyone has gone thru this and what options are there? We are thinking a different school But I don't know if a private school will be any different or better?

TIA!

Re: Private School?

First off I'm so sorry that the kids in your sons class are acting this way toward him and that the teachers seem to be brushing it off.

You can try to push for him to go to another school (like cross district) or a private school but it is usually hard to do because you would have to prove to the CSE why the current classroom/school they are recommending placement is not a good fit for him (and this costs them $). I hired an advocate for this reason and she was expensive but successful.

Also if you are on Facebook, consider joining Long Island Special Education Parent Network and post on there.

Re: Private School?

Thanks for the feedback!

So if I were to tell CSE I am putting my child in a private school, can they prohibit me from that? Or just that they may refuse to provide me the services my child currently gets in his current school district?

Re: Private School?

They could and likely would refuse to pay for private school. There are procedures you would have to follow to get a district to pay for private school or agree to move your child to another school within or out of the district. If you just pull your kid, you would likely need to pay OOP. The other solution is to move to switch districts.

Private School?

OK... I didn't even know the district paying for private was even an option!

Was curious if anyone could share their experience on their child with special needs going to a private school vs a public school. We are even looking into Montessori schools.

Thanks!

Private School?

If your child has an IEP and goes to private school, you will be going through the special education department of the school district that the private school is in. So say you are in Sachem, private school is in Patchogue, you would go through Pat-Med for services. Beyond that, I don't know though! As far as the district paying for private, likely not happening unless your school district has no appropriate placement for your child, and then those are usually specialized schools for those with special needs. I'm gathering you are talking about just a regular private school though at your own expense.

Message edited 7/27/2017 4:22:49 PM.

Private School?

Have you spoken to the school social worker about this? If your child has an IEP the social worker should be on top of what is going on with him socially and monitoring the situation. You may also be able to add to your IEP being part of a social skills group run by the social worker. Last resort - maybe there would be less resistance by CSE requesting to move your child to another school within the same district? It could just be a tough group of kids.