From 1 to 2 - Help

Sorry if this has been discussed to death but can you tell me the drastic/not so drastic change of goin from 1 child to 2?

I'm quite nervous about it

From 1 to 2 - Help

As a whole, I already had a routine established. With my 2nd, it was more btdt.

That being said, with just 1, I had MUCH more free time than I have with 2. I also have kids who don't sleep, so I'm going on about 3 years of no sleep. Dd was just at the point where she could get out of bed and climb into bed quietly with me before ds was born, but now I've been up nightly with ds for 10 months.

That being said, it's incredible, and I absolutely love having both of them. So much so that I still want to have a third lol

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

I think it depends on how your day is, how hard it may be or not with 2, the spacing in between kids, are they in activities, do you work, etc?

My transition from 1 to 2 was easy.
#1 was very independent & mature, he wasn't in school yet & I didn't have to drag the baby around to any activites with the older one since he wasn't in any classes, I also only worked 2 days a week. My first 2 are 26 months apart.

Message edited 9/12/2017 2:07:57 PM.

From 1 to 2 - Help

IMO it depends on the ages of the kids. When i went from 1 to 2, it was a nightmare! DD was only 15 months old and had no idea what was going on. She could not understand why mommy had to hold (let alone breast feed) this screaming baby and why I could not pay attention to her. We also did not have much of a routine at that age (aside from daycare and naptime) so weekends were always a free for all etc.

I have lots of friends who had kids with a larger age difference (2+ years) and it seems for them the newborn just gets thrown into the routine of DC1 and its not a problem.

From 1 to 2 - Help

It's definitely harder. The only time I feel like I get a break is when they go to bed, and thankfully I have good sleepers. The baby needs my attention and toddler wants my attention. When it is just me it can be hard to juggle the two, when my husband is around we're switching on and off. In the beginning, there were times where I just let my toddler do whatever he wanted as long as he wasn't in danger (including clearing out the pantry) because I needed a minute to focus on the baby. Now I can handle them both a little better. I think the age and maturity of your older one can make a big difference. My older son is a wild child and was definitely in full blown terrible two's when the baby was born. He's made a lot of progress in the past few months, but we still have a ways to go.

It's also harder to get someone to watch two. We wanted to go away for our anniversary, but my FIL is going to be away then and my MIL doesn't think she can handle two for a weekend.

I think it will get easier soon. Right now the baby needs a lot of attention and my toddler is at a difficult age. I'm hopeful that when they can play together it'll get easier.

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

Totally agree on the age gap. My oldest was 3 1/2 when the baby came so he was fairly independent in terms of going to the bathroom, getting a snack, playing independently etc. Not to say that it wasnt still a big adjustment, but the oldest wasnt so reliant on me - he was also in 3 day full time preschool at that point so it was also helpful.

I also had a very easy 2nd baby - sleeps like a dream, so mild and laid back. This was a huge change from my first who was a nightmare baby, LOL. Im surprised I event went for the 2nd...

I have friends who had their children much closer together 15, 18 months...and they had a VERY hard time...I thought one of my friends was literally going to leave and drive away forever. When the first is still so little and dependent on you, I've seen it be much more challenging.

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

My girls are 6 years apart (not by choice but things happen for a reason) its not bad because my oldest is very independent and helps me a lot but she does have her needs so when they are both acting up its a little challenging but we get through it.

From 1 to 2 - Help

I didn't find it to be a drastic change. You're already used to not sleeping so I guess that's a plus lol. Having a toddler (dd1 was 2.5) is a big distraction so you don't have time to think about being tired and you just do what needs to be done. Breastfeeding the second time was much easier and I just fed the baby while cleaning, eating, playing with her big sister, etc. Once the baby was a little older it was nice bc she was always entertained by her sister. Running errands and things like that can feel a little more overwhelming but you get the hang of things. My kids were pretty easy babies and toddlers so I rally lucked out. I have two friends who just had their third and both thought that 2 to 3 was easier than 1 to 2 so I guess it depends.

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

1 to 2 was not bad for us because my second was a very easy baby compared to my first. I was already in baby/kid mode so it was just more of the same. By far the most difficult was 0 to 1... nothing could compare to the shock that was for me, especially because he was a really challenging baby.

Re: From 1 to 2 - Help

My two are 2 1/2 years apart almost exactly. For me it was WAY easier to go from 1-2. You're already in it. Having to get a babysitter, in diaper mode somewhat etc. plus when my little one started walking my older one was more entertained by him. I always tell everyone if you have 1, two is easy! The only issue is daycare for both. I'm now a sahm for that reason, but it works for us. I'm due with #3 in feb.