What's up!

Just trying to get some action going on this board

I was lurking over on the Parenting board and saw a thread about people having baby fever (or maybe "baby envy") even when they already have a few kids. It's so funny how people are so different - b/c with zero kids at nearly 37, I've never once had that feeling. Not once. I actually can't even imagine what it would feel like to desperately want a baby. Obviously no disrespect to those women (that goes without saying!) - I just think it's interesting that I'm so...different, I guess.

Anyway - that's my deep thought of the night. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the fall!

Re: What's up!

I have felt baby fever.
I would love to have a baby and give him to someone else after 6-9 months.
I don't want the responsibility of raising someone and dealing with fears, the constant worry, arguing, puberty etc.
I've babysat many times for a week or longer 24-7 and realize that's the age I truly enjoy.
Only one girl was a colic mess and I still enjoyed my time, I'm sure because I knew I could give her back when her parents got back from vacation.
Loving that the fall weather is here finally!

Re: What's up!

Hello CF board!

Never had baby fever once. I generally avoided kids of all ages until probably my mid 30s, then my bff had one. Then I enjoyed some time with that baby and I do enjoy time with both of her kids now, but so glad i'm not responsible for them.

Recently a friend had a baby in Cali and the pics are just amazing. the kid is beyond adorable and i wish i was closer to meet him. that in and of itself is amazing to me but i guess at 42 i've matured!!

I still give the stink eye in restaurants when kids do that ice-pick-in-the-eardrum screech. I can't help it. I know parents can't control it and probably want to crawl under the table as well. It's a knee jerk response at this point.

Had a beautiful summer, wish it lasted longer, ready for some fall fun.

Re: What's up!

Hello hello!

Good to see a new post on here!

I'm with you guys: I'm 36 and have never desired having a child. It wasn't even until my niece came along a few years ago that I even felt comfortable around kids. She kind of broke me in, good thing too, because shortly after she was born two of my best friends had babies. But even though they're all rad kids...I don't want any and neither does DH. Chemo also made me unable to have kids, and that's fine - we love being an aunt and uncle.

It's been a wild year for us: we are selling our house and buying an apartment (another thing that being CF affords us: downsizing our living space and expenses so we can do more cool shit: weekend getaways, more travel, hiking, taking classes just because), DH's parents stayed with us for the whole summer, I graduated to seeing my oncologist once a year which is a big step in my recovery, and I've become really active in the local world of young adult cancer - I did a solo 32-mile walk around the perimeter of Manhattan to raise money for an organization that helped me heal, and just a couple weeks ago was a co-host of a sold-out fundraiser for the same organization. Hoping that 2018 brings some calmer waters, especially on the housing front!

Last night we went to a pop-up event: a trailer themed after Breaking Bad where you make cocktails inspired by the show...the couple we shared a table with are also CF by choice and we had a blast with them!

What's everyone's winter plans? Anything fun going on? Let me live vicariously through you while I pack and purge shit hahah

Re: What's up!

congrats PearJamChick on graduating to yearly visits!! What a relief.
Best of luck with everything and moving!

We have our usual Florida getaways planned for this winter. We want to head up to Culinary Institute for lunch one fall weekend; I know the staff psychologist up there (yes they need one for the students!!) and he's always inviting us so we'll check that out.

Re: What's up!

Good to hear from others!

PearlJamChick, that is all awesome news

So far we just have a short trip to FL planned - nothing too exciting. Maybe a ski weekend or two in the winter? Other than than just hanging out, drinking wine, eating. That's what we do best

Re: What's up!

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

Message edited 10/8/2017 1:17:41 PM.

Re: What's up!

Re: What's up!

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

Re: What's up!

Re: What's up!

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

is adoption something you considered?

Re: What's up!

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by hmm

Posted by PearlJamChick

I graduated to seeing my oncologist once a year which is a big step in my recovery, and I've become really active in the local world of young adult cancer -
h

So glad you're doing well!! My MD are just following one enlarged lymph that wont go away.

that's annoying. Hopefully nothing

Re: What's up!

Posted by hmm

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

is adoption something you considered?

yes, I've posted on the adoption board, but at stand still and not sure it will happen or work out

Re: What's up!

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

Re: What's up!

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

Re: What's up!

Posted by JennLala

Posted by hmm

Hi Ladies, well, Im not a new poster on LIfamilies so I think everyone here knows having a baby is something I did want, went through IVF just after cancer and surgery. My desire for a baby and being a mom was very strong for a period of time, 2011-2016. I've posted several times with regard to posts on this site my lack of ability to feel ok with being child free. I am stuck in an odd state about this, however, I am child-free . I thought by choice for many years and now... because nothing worked. I understand what its like to go out to dinner and want the restaurant to be a child free zone lol

I am jealous that everyone feels at peace with their choice. Unlike the rest of you, it's just me. I'm alone so the future scares me. You ladies have a partner to spend time with...

I completely understand how you feel. I am also not child-free by choice and I'm 45 and still not totally at peace with it. When I was in my 20's I felt like I didn't care if I ever had kids, but by my mid 30's I knew it was something I wanted, but I didn't have the right person in my life at that time. I just assumed he would come along and that I still had plenty of time. I just feel like I missed my chance, and by the time I found and married DH it was too late.

We went to see a fertility doctor and were getting ready for IVF when he started freaking out and changed his mind about wanting to go through with everything. It was and still is so heartbreaking for me. There are plenty of times I will see or hear something that just makes my heart ache for something I know I will never have.

Re: What's up!

Like hmm and jenn, I'm not child-free by choice. I guess technically now I am because adoption has been pulled off the table (for now).

I will say as much as I sometimes long for that connection, being CF has so many perks. I don't get to travel and do too much cool shit though. DH and I have our own businesses and that can be quite time consuming. But the extra "me time", shopping whenever for whatever at any time is great, quiet drives, having everything in my house "just so", NAPS! When we do have time, DH and I have jumped on the ferry to go to Mohegan sun for the afternoon - just need someone to pop in on the dogs. Those are the benefits and I do take full advantage of them. I think eventually, and as I get older, the CF life looks more and more appealing. I do envy those who never wanted kids because you can enjoy it without that little voice in the back of your mind or that empty spot in your heart.

I am definitely enjoying the fun and freedom I have.