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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Communion Guest Dress Code
DS's communion is in april.
Most of DH's side are not Christian and don't even know what a communion is.
We're having the party at a restaurant, but nothing too fancy. Not catering hall, just a more casual 5 hour party. We're doing our own music/entertainment. No dj.
I want to tell them the ceremony is as important as a bar mitzvah, but if i do that they will dress too fancy.
How do I convey the importance of the day but also the dress code without making them feel uncomfortable about what to wear?
Thanks!
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Posted 1/19/18 3:49 PM  |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Communion Guest Dress Code
I’m guessing they’re Jewish since you mention a bar mitzvah? I would probably tell them to dress as they would for a bris.
How did they dress for your DS’s christening? I would maybe reference that, too.
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| Posted 1/19/18 4:13 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Cocktail attire on the invite?
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| Posted 1/19/18 4:18 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Communion Guest Dress Code
Maybe write no jeans please on the invite?
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| Posted 1/19/18 5:00 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Communion Guest Dress Code
I really don't think there are many adults that don't know what a communion is. I also wouldn't wear cocktail attire to a communion. I think people basically know what to wear and if a few people dress too down or up, it is what it is.
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| Posted 1/20/18 11:26 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
If you are communicating verbally, tell them to wear what they would when going to temple for Rosh Hashanah. That would be suit and tie for men and a dress for women, like a fancy office dress, but not a cocktail dress.
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| Posted 1/20/18 11:31 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
Message edited 1/21/2018 5:41:39 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/18 5:40 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic.
I don't think this is necessarily true. My SIL did not understand what a christening was. She grew up in a reform (honestly even that's a stretch) household, went to public school and has Catholic friends. Granted, she's not very bright but I am always SHOCKED at the things my DH's siblings don't understand.
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| Posted 1/21/18 9:07 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
the last time they've been in a temple was when they got married 11 years ago.
it seems trivial but they want to know what to wear to look appropriate. i had a really hard time giving them examples.
i found a fluff lifestyles article that gave the basics andf posted it on my FB. Hopefully that helps cause i don't know how else to explain it.
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| Posted 1/22/18 9:04 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
the last time they've been in a temple was when they got married 11 years ago.
it seems trivial but they want to know what to wear to look appropriate. i had a really hard time giving them examples.
i found a fluff lifestyles article that gave the basics andf posted it on my FB. Hopefully that helps cause i don't know how else to explain it.
If someone asked me I would tell them to wear what they wear to work. A nice work type dress, no jeans, etc.
It's definitely not cocktail attire (unless you are a having a fancy party somewhere but I think you said you weren't)
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| Posted 1/22/18 9:06 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by ali120206
Maybe write no jeans please on the invite?
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| Posted 1/22/18 9:08 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
 are their everyday clothes “Jewish?”
My in laws have come out with some gems over the years, too, both with what they should wear and what I should wear.
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| Posted 1/22/18 9:28 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
the last time they've been in a temple was when they got married 11 years ago.
it seems trivial but they want to know what to wear to look appropriate. i had a really hard time giving them examples.
i found a fluff lifestyles article that gave the basics andf posted it on my FB. Hopefully that helps cause i don't know how else to explain it.
Could it be that they're concenred about whether something like sleeveless is ok? DO shoulders have to be covered? Are head coverings required? etc - that kind of thing? I would just explain that it's not "fancy", but something like khakis with a button down shirt for the men and a work-type dress for the women would be appropriate
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| Posted 1/22/18 9:39 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
the last time they've been in a temple was when they got married 11 years ago.
it seems trivial but they want to know what to wear to look appropriate. i had a really hard time giving them examples.
i found a fluff lifestyles article that gave the basics andf posted it on my FB. Hopefully that helps cause i don't know how else to explain it.
Could it be that they're concenred about whether something like sleeveless is ok? DO shoulders have to be covered? Are head coverings required? etc - that kind of thing? I would just explain that it's not "fancy", but something like khakis with a button down shirt for the men and a work-type dress for the women would be appropriate
this is what i posted: http://blog.beau-coup.com/the-guests-guide-to-a-first-communion-what-to-expect-wear-and-gift
hopefully it's helpful and not insulting
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| Posted 1/22/18 10:42 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’d say most adults know what a communion is even if they’re not Catholic. Obviously they’ll see the church information on the invitation. I wouldn’t say anything honestly... if someone shows up under or over dressed... who cares? Life is too short... I’d just be happy they were there to share the day. Unless someone ASKS “what should I wear?” I’d let it be.
in this case, they literally asked "do we need to dress up in some special non jewish way?" folowed by a whole lot of other questions.
are their everyday clothes “Jewish?”
My in laws have come out with some gems over the years, too, both with what they should wear and what I should wear.
it's their passive-agressive way of putting down my non-jewish, non-russian status. it's a regular occurrence. 
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| Posted 1/22/18 10:43 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
Posted by ali120206
Maybe write no jeans please on the invite?
I would say "no jeans or sneakers please".
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| Posted 1/22/18 10:57 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Communion Guest Dress Code
I would say business casual. ( although to be fair,
I haven't been to one in forever, but I have been to Christenings.)
Not jeans, but not a suit or cocktail dress.
ETA-I think that link is helpful. I wouldn't have thought to tell guests to dress modestly, but some people do need a reminder. Although, if they do attend Jewish services, they probably know that.
Message edited 1/22/2018 11:36:08 AM.
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| Posted 1/22/18 11:31 AM |
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