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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
What ultimately was your biggest deciding factor? And did your friends/family understand your reasons for moving? We really want to move but are having a hard time at the thought of leaving family & friends....and can’t decide if we should just stay even though there are many reasons we dislike living here.
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Posted 5/14/18 11:21 AM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
I feel like true friends and family should understand that you need to do what is best for you and your family.
Whether that be what is financially best, or best for your happiness and living your best life, or for a better job, a different lifestyle, etc.
You only live once and it's your life to live.
If they are upset with you about that, I'd look differently on them.
I wouldn't want someone I cared about to be miserable because I didn't want them to move away from me, kwim?
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| Posted 5/14/18 11:27 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by NervousNell
I feel like true friends and family should understand that you need to do what is best for you and your family.
Whether that be what is financially best, or best for your happiness and living your best life, or for a better job, a different lifestyle, etc.
You only live once and it's your life to live.
If they are upset with you about that, I'd look differently on them.
I wouldn't want someone I cared about to be miserable because I didn't want them to move away from me, kwim?
Nel is 100% correct. We moved because of a job relocation. While our friends and family were sad, they all understood we had to do what was best for us.
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| Posted 5/14/18 11:30 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by NervousNell
I feel like true friends and family should understand that you need to do what is best for you and your family.
Whether that be what is financially best, or best for your happiness and living your best life, or for a better job, a different lifestyle, etc.
You only live once and it's your life to live.
If they are upset with you about that, I'd look differently on them.
I wouldn't want someone I cared about to be miserable because I didn't want them to move away from me, kwim?
Nel is 100% correct. We moved because of a job relocation. While our friends and family were sad, they all understood we had to do what was best for us.
yes, yes, yes.
if they love you, they will want the best for you.
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| Posted 5/14/18 11:39 AM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
I'd love to hear from families that moved away too. We think about it all-the-time. It's a recurring topic of conversation for us, and while I care what my f&f think & feel, for us it's more about how would we do it all without their love & support within the tri-state area.
Like, how do people do that. I can't quite wrap my head around that.
And not like we even live THAT close to our family, or that we even have a large family, but the ones we do have plus the little tribe we are forming through the school district & extra curricular activities. It's a lot to let go of from our every day lives.
Would love to hear more. Always love hearing success stories about this.
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:16 PM |
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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by KateBennetReel
I'd love to hear from families that moved away too. We think about it all-the-time. It's a recurring topic of conversation for us, and while I care what my f&f think & feel, for us it's more about how would we do it all without their love & support within the tri-state area.
Like, how do people do that. I can't quite wrap my head around that.
And not like we even live THAT close to our family, or that we even have a large family, but the ones we do have plus the little tribe we are forming through the school district & extra curricular activities. It's a lot to let go of from our every day lives.
Would love to hear more. Always love hearing success stories about this.
Yes! This is same for us! While I know that we’d keep in touch and visit, I think for us it’s more about the daunting idea of making new friends and feeling comfortable in a new community. We are pretty active and the places we are looking seem to have friendly/active neighborhoods...some days we are ready to pack up and go, and other days we feel foolish for thinking of moving away from family and our wonderful friends here.
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:22 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
it really is just a matter of closing your eyes and taking the plunge!
if you're a social person it's easier to make friends in the new location.
when i moved from NYC to central NJ, i found that doing activities through your kids' school will help you meet people.
i also joined a knitting group. i met a lot of amazing people.
there is a "learning curve" of getting acclimated to a new place, but i feel it's worth it. my son and i are both "slow to warm" types. so, we were pretty secluded for about two months until we started to feel more comfortable in our new surroundings. once we felt "at home," you couldn't stop us lol.
my $0.02... if your heart is telling you that it will be good for your family, do it!
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:31 PM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Yes, that's so hard for us to reconcile too.
People move CLOSER to their friends & family when raising their own, and here we are considering the move AWAY from all of that.
It's hard to know for sure what the best thing is.
I get that seasonal mood thing in the depths of winter in NY, I get anxiety from biting bugs in the summer, the taxes are depressing.... Cost of living 
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:36 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
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Momma <3
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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
I moved off LI because my now DH got a job upstate. We live about 3.5 hours away. It has its pros and cons. If I’m being honest though, I hate living this far away. Whenever we go to visit, it’s a production that takes up an entire weekend instead of just a few hours. I hate that they all did Mother’s Day yesterday afternoon and evening and we couldn’t go. I hate that we only get to see them a few times a year. My son always asks to go to his cousins’ house. It makes me sad.
I’ll also note that my family rarely comes to visit and we always have to go to them. I hate to say this but it really is a LI thing. Many of my coworkers are from LI and have a similar experience. Like the thruway only goes one way...
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:43 PM |
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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by KateBennetReel
Yes, that's so hard for us to reconcile too.
People move CLOSER to their friends & family when raising their own, and here we are considering the move AWAY from all of that.
It's hard to know for sure what the best thing is.
I get that seasonal mood thing in the depths of winter in NY, I get anxiety from biting bugs in the summer, the taxes are depressing.... Cost of living
We are exactly in same boat! We’d like to move to a subdivision, with community pool, playground, trails etc and then we think it sounds so wonderful and at the same time are we really uprooting our lives (and our children’s lives) to be able to walk to a pool and playground? And then it seems silly. But also the financial aspect, weather etc and all of those things do factor in as well.
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| Posted 5/14/18 12:43 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by NervousNell
I feel like true friends and family should understand that you need to do what is best for you and your family.
Whether that be what is financially best, or best for your happiness and living your best life, or for a better job, a different lifestyle, etc.
You only live once and it's your life to live.
If they are upset with you about that, I'd look differently on them.
I wouldn't want someone I cared about to be miserable because I didn't want them to move away from me, kwim?
Nel is 100% correct. We moved because of a job relocation. While our friends and family were sad, they all understood we had to do what was best for us.
This exactly. My mom didn’t take it well for a few weeks after we told her, but she came around. It was 100% the smart and right decision for us and we have no regrets at all.
I will admit though - we had a very small family on LI and not a big social group, so I guess that made it easier for us. But those things wouldn’t have held us back either way.
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| Posted 5/14/18 1:03 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
DH and I are planning to move to South Carolina as soon as I am ready to retire, if not sooner.
It's just the two of us, we do not have children, my dad is the only parent left and he would move with us.
Other than my sister and her children, I don't have family here. DH has cousins on the island, but it's not enough to make us want to stay.
We want to be comfortable in our retirement, not worrying about the astronomical cost of living in NY.
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| Posted 5/14/18 1:55 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by PitterPatter11
I moved off LI because my now DH got a job upstate. We live about 3.5 hours away. It has its pros and cons. If I’m being honest though, I hate living this far away. Whenever we go to visit, it’s a production that takes up an entire weekend instead of just a few hours. I hate that they all did Mother’s Day yesterday afternoon and evening and we couldn’t go. I hate that we only get to see them a few times a year. My son always asks to go to his cousins’ house. It makes me sad.
I’ll also note that my family rarely comes to visit and we always have to go to them. I hate to say this but it really is a LI thing. Many of my coworkers are from LI and have a similar experience. Like the thruway only goes one way...
They don't want to travel north! If you moved to Florida I am sure they would be dying to come see you! 
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| Posted 5/14/18 2:01 PM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
i moved from nassau county to suffolk county and friends and family had a hard time with it. It may as well be China.
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| Posted 5/14/18 3:28 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by jamnmore
i moved from nassau county to suffolk county and friends and family had a hard time with it. It may as well be China.
This is my family. My brother moved from Levittown to Islip and you’d think he moved to Guam. They complain about the traffic ALL the time. It doesn’t help that my other two siblings own houses in Levittown. One lives .25 miles away from my parents and my mom rarely goes over her house... so weird!!
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| Posted 5/14/18 8:27 PM |
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Laraaidan
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/17 450 total posts
Name:
Lara&aidansmommy
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
We moved almost 5 years ago from Nassau county to New Hampshire. We moved cause an oppurtunity arose that we didnt want to give up. As much as I miss my family and friends. Living here is just so different than NY. No traffic, like EVER. Small towns where everyone knows everyone lol. Were 2 minutes from the Ocean and only 2 hours from the White mountains. Schools are small , classes are really small. Its just better for us. My family visits and we visit them. Family will always be family no matter how far they are from you!
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| Posted 5/14/18 8:34 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by SusiBee
DH and I are planning to move to South Carolina as soon as I am ready to retire, if not sooner.
It's just the two of us, we do not have children, my dad is the only parent left and he would move with us.
Other than my sister and her children, I don't have family here. DH has cousins on the island, but it's not enough to make us want to stay.
We want to be comfortable in our retirement, not worrying about the astronomical cost of living in NY.
+1.
We have my mom and mil and brother here. DH and i will leave for FL and are in the countdown. We have told mom to come too; she's in a quandary, not sure what to do but that's up to her. mil will probably go down, and my brother is not moving so.
we are TIRED of NYC (we're in Queens). We happily grew up here but will not be sad to leave.
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| Posted 5/14/18 10:21 PM |
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MrsE323
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 530 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by KateBennetReel
I'd love to hear from families that moved away too. We think about it all-the-time. It's a recurring topic of conversation for us, and while I care what my f&f think & feel, for us it's more about how would we do it all without their love & support within the tri-state area.
Like, how do people do that. I can't quite wrap my head around that.
And not like we even live THAT close to our family, or that we even have a large family, but the ones we do have plus the little tribe we are forming through the school district & extra curricular activities. It's a lot to let go of from our every day lives.
Would love to hear more. Always love hearing success stories about this.
So my DH and I moved to Virginia 8 years ago. It was just the two of us at the time and he had a great job opportunity. We LOVE it here but once we had our two boys it became harder and harder to be away from family. So much so that we are actually moving back to LI in 4 weeks. Only seeing grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins a couple of times a year is hard. It can absolutely be done and we have had some great times here but for us it was the pull of family that's bringing us back. A bigger house, lower taxes, and more property can't outweigh those family moments and memories that we are missing out on. When DH and I are ready to retire (only early 30s so a LONG TIME down the road) I think we will consider moving the entire family back south and hopefully our then-grown children will be on board and they won't have to make the kind of decisions DH and I were faced with.
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| Posted 5/15/18 8:19 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
We moved from Queens to lower Westchester. Everyone was generally happy for us because we were house hunting for 3 years. Although it’s not far, one of my in laws acts like we moved to China at times. (40min away). Everyone is understanding. We also don’t care about anyone’s thoughts.
Do what’s best for your family. You can always move back if you hate it.
If my husband got an amazing opportunity in Spain, I’d move there, too.
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| Posted 5/15/18 9:37 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
We moved to LI from Queens. No one comes here. All of our friends and family are in the city or Westchester.
I will say that if you have kids and there is family nearby to help I would think very carefully about giving that up. We have no help and it is hard. I see friends whose parents can watch their kids while they run to the store or have them as backup babysitters and I think the lack of that really influences every aspect of your life.
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| Posted 5/15/18 9:55 AM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
This is how I feel and we never actually made the move. I just cant imagine my boys not being close to their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...and being a part of their lives consistently. I would looove to move somewhere with nicer weather, less congestion, and more affordable living, but I just feel like we would be lonely and sad.... Once our kids are older, we will definitely retire or part time retire down south, but for now, a larger house and lower taxes isnt something I can trade for being so far from my family. Our parents are getting older, and they definitely wouldn't leave their own siblings and friends at the point in their life - plus my mom has had cancer and that really put a lot into perspective. My kids would also be devastated to leave all their extended family. they absolutely adore them.
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| Posted 5/15/18 10:36 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
Posted by PitterPatter11
I’ll also note that my family rarely comes to visit and we always have to go to them. I hate to say this but it really is a LI thing. Many of my coworkers are from LI and have a similar experience. Like the thruway only goes one way...
I feel this is our future...no doubt.
I was born and raised upstate and am moving back after almost 20 years on LI. I have family and friends here that I know will not take the time to drive 2-3 hours north to see us, yet will expect us to do it all the time. Though I find that is just people because my friends and family upstate rarely if ever came to visit me when I lived down here. It was ALWAYS me doing the driving. I'm thinking I need new friends and family.
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| Posted 5/15/18 11:07 AM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
I would be hesitant if I didn’t have a support system in place. We actually just sold our condo here on LI yesterday and will be making the move to N.C. the end of June. My parents also bought a house down there too so we will have close family. My DH’s sister will be moving down too in a couple of years. If we didn’t have anyone around, I’m not sure I could do it.
ETA: our decision was based on how much we can’t stand NY, the rudeness, the impatience, the ridiculous expense, the cold weather... the pros outweighed any cons for us... going down to NC, I felt like I could breathe. And as “they” say, you only live once!
Message edited 5/15/2018 12:16:18 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/18 12:12 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
We would move if it weren't for family. Most of the people I know that moved off LI (with and without kids) absolutely LOVE where they moved to and are happy, but honestly they did not have much or any family here. We have a huge family and I definitely want my kids to see them all more than a couple of times per year. Also, having family support when you have kids has been vital to us since DH and I both work full time.
This will be unpopular but I am one of those people that feel like if YOU move away, then YOU should be the one coming back most of the time to visit. I am not going to schlep my family across the country for holidays because you decided to move.
Message edited 5/16/2018 7:00:32 PM.
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| Posted 5/16/18 7:00 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: If you moved off the island (and away from family/friends)...
We moved OOS 4 years ago this week. 2 kids, one was 4 years old, the other only 8 months old. We had lots of family on Long Island and NY metro area. We lived a mile away from my parents and would sometimes walk there. My parents saw my children every single day.
We moved where we knew not one person, in the entire state! DH got a wonderful job opportunity and we had talked about moving off LI so we did it. It was in essence a leap of faith. If we had stopped to think about family we would never have moved. We had to do what was best for our family. Is it sad sometimes that my kids don't see their family as much as I'd like, of course. But my kids have an awesome life here. It is so unlike Long Island. I can't really imagine moving them back. My DH has been asked twice by his employer to move back to NY and he's said no each time. Our quality of life is so much better, my DH no longer commutes 1.5 hours to NYC, even when he works late he's home in 20 minutes so it's ok. He can run home for an hour to see our son get an award at school, to see our other son at soccer practice or in a school parade, etc. He sees them in the morning before school and helps get them ready and is always home for dinner. It wasn't like that back in NY.
If you want to do it you just have to push aside everything else and do it. No one expected me to do it but I did, bc I knew in my gut that it was best for us. And you have to do it without a safety net for coming back otherwise it's too easy to give up the days it gets hard. We sold our house so there was no coming back easily if we wanted to. GL!
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| Posted 5/16/18 9:59 PM |
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