Self contained versus ICT with 1:1 aid for pre k

I have a 4 year old who attends a preschool that offers developmental programs for kids who get services, last year and this year they are putting her in a self contained room with 1:1 aid. My daughter was born with a rare foot deformity in both feet which despite correction, has led to very poor gross motor skills from the core down. To make a very long story shorter, she receives speech, OT, PT at preschool (pulled out of the classroom about 6 times per week, one if the speech sessions is push in). We also have her in an intensive physical therapy program where she is making huge strides in posture, still occasionally falls and totally still needs a 1:1 aid which I think she will need ongoing because of the safety risk. She can't stand on 1 foot, run or jump yet. Recently, her developmental doctor did a brief intelligence test and she came up average. The school is keeping her in self contained setting, the doctor feels by kindergarten she wants her in ICT with a 1:1 aid. The schools argument for not putting her in ICT for pre k this year is that my daughter is very defiant and with 6 pull outs she can easily fall behind. I'm torn as I know my daughter needs to be challenged, she is known as "the mayor" at preschool... she says hi to everyone, everyone knows her in the building, yet she has not a single friend, no play dates, birthday parties, etc. She wants a birthday party so bad and I have not one other 4 year old in our lives to invite. Her communication/social skills seem stronger and more appropriate than her classmates, but she lacks the physical ability they have and I see her intentionally mimicking inappropriate behaviors when I have been in the classroom. In trying to find typically developing peers to be more of a positive influence on her, recently my older child's friend and her little sister came over... all was okay until my daughter fell and landed on top of the other 4 year old who perceived my daughter pushed her. Totally, not what happened, but I get it. I worry about that aspect of fighting for ICT, that my daughter could even be reprimanded by a teacher if another child accuses her of pushing or touching them if she is falling... she reaches for the nearest object or body to stop the fall. My mom encountered a similar problem in the 50s... there are no programs for those with strictly physical challenges and unfortunately, like my mom, I feel like my daughter may not be placed according to her potential. Yet, I'm just a mom, my degrees are not in special education... if they are right and I'm wrong and she falls behind academically... I'd feel like a jerk... yet its "just" preschool... wouldn't it be best to see if she can deal with it now versus waiting to kindergarten? I know these circumstances are so rare, just a shame there really is no way to help her physical issues without reinforcing her social strengths.

Self contained versus ICT with 1:1 aid for pre k

I commented on your other post:

ok - so first I want to say don't lose hope! There are ways to help her physical issues and giving her the social aspects you want. In my opinion - when she goes to K they wont put her in a self contained class unless there is a significant educational delay. They WANT least restrictive environments. BUT I will say in defense of the preschool - 6 pull outs is a lot and I could see a child falling behind in a regular setting. The self contained classes learn the same material just at a slower pace and have less kids so the teachers can give more individual attention. I don't think its a bad thing - especially in preschool. Maybe in K I would push more because of the social aspect. I mean both of my dd's never had playdates or were invited to birthday parties in preschool either. Even now in grade school there has been a couple here and there. I wouldn't get too hung up on that.
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At the end of the day - I think with the multiple pull outs and the fact that they say your dd can be defiant, I think the self contained for preschool isn't a bad thing. I would ask to see if maybe they could let her go into the ICT class for maybe lunch or recess or other social things. Also keep in mind that self contained isn't all for behavior kids - it is really geared for kids who need a slower pace or more individual attention so I wouldn't assume all the kids wouldn't be as socially developed as your dd.

Self contained versus ICT with 1:1 aid for pre k

My son is in self contained for behaviour, not academics. For academics last year they did pull out for 2 subjects a day into a non-special ed class. It lasted less than 2 weeks. Behaviourally he is not able to handle it.
If she is aware and gets the social part of things, would you rather see her go into an integrated setting and fail and go back to self contained OR see he be in self contained, thrive and graduate to integrated.
We chose the latter because my son is aware and would completely understand and be super hard on himself if he was moved backward from integrated to self contained. But academically he is beyond grade level.