How to help poss gay/trans nephew

He’s a sweet 10yo kid whose parents are silently panicking and doing all the wrong things- not allowing him to play dress up, yelling at him for being “too emotional,” hiding his older sister’s nail polish after he started wearing it (so he won’t be teased, they say), leaving him back when they spend weekends at his other sister’s cheerleading competitions (my niece let it slip that he had been standing up dancing along during the routines and that embarrasses them). There have been plenty of other “signs” over the years, but whether he’s gay/straight/trans, he seems lonely and starved for attention. And this dynamic is damaging for kids trying to figure stuff out. We see him 1x month at family things but aren’t close with his parents— the entire extended family is stuck in the 1950s Catholic mentality, and nobody talks about anything difficult. Short of having him over to our house alone to play however he wants, no judgement (he absolutely dotes on our DDs) is there anything else we can do? Is this a MYOB situation?

How to help poss gay/trans nephew

Just be there for your nephew. Be his soft place to fall...

Re: How to help poss gay/trans nephew

Offer to have him stay at your house when the others go to the cheerleader things. Tell him you love him for theirself and maybe look up pflag for books for you to read. I would just let the child be themselves at your house. I would tell the child that it is ok to be yourself in your home.

How to help poss gay/trans nephew

I agree, be there for your nephew. Is this one of your or your husbands siblings children? I work in psychiatry and unfortunately children that are gay/ trans go through so much bullying in school and abuse at home and leads to the development of psychiatric disorders. I would express your concern to his parents and maybe find some support they can attend before talking to them. I know they say don’t get in the middle but to be honest, I have had to speak with parents where I work because their child has had so many inpatient admissions to a psych hospital for depression and suicide and the common themes are bullying and lack of acceptance by parents. I’m so sorry this is happening to him, there are lots of resources out there for families