New cat problems

long story..
We got a new cat about 2 months ago.
She's a little over a year old, and was super friendly at the shelter when we got her.

Took her a while to assimilate to us and the house, but she seems to be ok with it now.
She roams the house freely, plays with us when she feels like it, and spends most of her time hanging out in our basement (causing trouble there, but that's for another post).

I have 2 big issues with her now - after all this time, she has not once come up to any of us and showed any affection. She will let us approach her if she's sleeping and pet her, and she seems to really enjoy it. Occasionally one of us will be able to pet her if we get near her, but for the most part she's still skittish and runs away all the time.
She doesn't jump up on the couch or a chair to be pet either - she sort of avoids us unless we have a toy to play with. She doesn't respond to us calling her either.
She does enjoy playing, and thankfully my son LOVES To play with her so she does engage with him but not more than playing.

About a month ago we tried to get her in a carrier to bring her to the vet and it was a complete disaster - we ended up chasing her down and cornering her in a room and when i tried to grab her, her claws ripped my hands to shreds. So, we never got her to the vet.

She's had her shots at the shelter, but i do want to get her to the vet and get her registered there, and most importantly i have to CLIP HER DAMN CLAWS!
She's got razor sharp claws and is pulling apart everything. She uses the scratching posts, but i've found little piles of carpet in places, and if she gets a hold of a scarf or blanket, she's pulled holes in them.
I desperately need to get near/a hold on her to clip them, but she just doesn't come near us (didn't before the vet attempt, still doesn't after).

I'm at a loss - we are really trying to love this cat, but she's making it super hard for us. And i don't know what to do!
She's very wary - she'll come eat treats, but isn't fooled by it and will run off if we try to come near her while shes eating them.

What can i do?

Re: New cat problems

Some cats are just that way. I have had several cats. My first was just like that- maybe even worse.
Would let us hold her or pet her for a few seconds then GROWL at us as a warning that we better stop or she'd attack.
She hated everyone.

The 2 cats we got after her were the COMPLETE opposite. They love attention, they seek out affection and I can do ANYTHING to them- I open their mouths to give them pills, I clip their nails, my DD plays with them too rough sometimes- and not once in their entire life did a claw ever come out, did they ever bite, scratch or hiss or growl.
I was taken aback when I got them because I was so used to my other cat who was just not having anything. She was almost feral in her behavior even though we got her as a tiny kitten and raised her the exact same way we raised these two.

Just like people- cats all have different personalities and to be honest, you really can't change it.


In terms of the vet- try getting a top loading carrier. Have someone help you. Get the carrier ready and open the top in another room- don't let her see it. Pick her up, cover her eyes if you can and just quickly place her down in the carrier via the top and close the door.
Top loaders are so much easier than front loaders to get them in.

Message edited 3/19/2019 1:27:39 PM.

Re: New cat problems

Ok, top loader carrier might help, thanks.

but the problem is, she won't let us pick her up.
and you know how cats are.. super suspicious so if i approach her as she's sleeping, and try to get her in a carrier, i get one chance. if that fails, then we're doomed

New cat problems

Have you tried to put food in the carrier to trick her? Im a dog person, and i know this would work for them...but maybe cats are smarter LOL

Re: New cat problems

I have 3 cats and one has a similar personality to yours plus he's also very skittish. We never bring out the carrier before we need to get them in it. Cats are extremely smart and will bolt as soon as they see it. Try grabbing her and putting her in the bathroom. Then go get the carrier.

As far as the nails are concerned it's a two man job for me and DH. He holds each guy by the scruff while supporting their bum slightly. And I clip. Holding them by the scruff practically immobilizes them.

Maybe try one of those pheromone diffuser thingies. It might help to relax her.

Good luck.

Re: New cat problems

Posted by Otherme

Ok, top loader carrier might help, thanks.

but the problem is, she won't let us pick her up.
and you know how cats are.. super suspicious so if i approach her as she's sleeping, and try to get her in a carrier, i get one chance. if that fails, then we're doomed

New cat problems

It sounds exactly like a typical female cat, lol! Sorry to say, but that is how they are. I do clip my cats nails at home, but Im lucky, he is a male and they are usually more easy going. He doesn't love it, but lets me do it. Give it a try yourself. Any pet store can show you the clippers to get and explain how to do it. And even though my cat is generally a mush, getting him into the carrier is hell!!!

Re: New cat problems

Re: New cat problems

Re: New cat problems

A shelter cat can take a long time to come around because of a bad experience with humans before you came into its life. We've had a shelter cat for well over a year and it took her about a year to come around to us. She'll sit by us but not on us and I'm the only one in the house who can hold her and only for a few minutes. We realized one of the issues in communicating with her is she's stone deaf. (Go up behind her some time when she's sleeping and clang together two pot lids to check that out)
We also got the Feliway plug in for the room she's in the most, which is supposed to be calming to skittish cats. Now we can scratch her, she'll rub against us, tap us with her paw to be pet. I don't know that she'll ever be a lap cat, but if I made a time line of her relationship with us it very very very very slowly improves over time and with patience.

PS She freaks the heck out when we clip her claws too! She's very weird about her claws being touched. One of us holds her in a towel while the other clips. It's traumatic for everyone involved, lol.

Re: New cat problems

Give her more time to adjust to you guys.
Maybe limit the space she can roam in the house so she is more around you. A high perch might be good so she can see what is going on around her, but can feel safe at the same time.
I agree with the recommendation that it be a two person job. Eventually she will get used to being handled.

My cat is a mush, and she is up my azz all the time. If she gives me trouble about clipping her claws, I give her catnip to get her high. She is getting better about going into the carrier, but I have keep her out of my bedroom because she runs under the bed to hide. I kind of swoop her up and push her into it.

I had ferals too, couldn't touch them but they had no problem coming up to me and rubbing themselves on my legs.

New cat problems

I would try to leave out catnip and then throw a bath towel over her and scoop her up to put her in the carrier. Clipping nails is a 2 person job for one of our cats, we can only do it when she is sleepy and wear sweatshirts to minimize the scratches. I do think as a rescue cat she might take much longer to really warm up and female cats are just more difficult personality wise

Re: New cat problems

I have never had a cat like that, but I have had a cat that took a long time to come around. It happened eventually, and the best thing was with positive reinforcement.

How do you play with her? If you use your hands, then they tend to scratch people.

As for the scratching, she may have a preference for vertical or horizontal scratchers.

Clipping nails is a pain in the neck, but I can do it by myself.

I agree with providing lots of high places where she can go.

As for putting two pot lids behind her, that’s an awful tip. All you need to do is snap your fingers between the two ears from behind. If the ears move, then they are OK.

Feliway is good, but I have had better luck with Zyklene (spelling may be off on that one).

I usually put the carrier i=out the night before so they can sniff and get used to it.

I’ve been a cat owner for 40 years and my sister was a vet tech. I know a lot of tricks.

New cat problems

These are some of the realities of having a cat. They are kind of like people. Some are super friendly and some are jerks. I have 2 cats. One is super friendly and sleeps on me at night. The other one is afraid of everything and runs away from everything, even just a person walking towards her. One lets me clip her claws no problem and one I need to wrap in a towel and wear work gloves. I’ve tried the anti scratch sprays and feliway. I didn’t think it worked. They also scratch everything. No matter how many scratch posts I buy they attack my couch and leather bench. I will say they enjoy cardboard. There are cardboard scratchers you can buy at the pet store but they do make a mess and need to be replaced often. I say give it time but you may have to just accept the cat as she is personality wise. She may never be as affectionate as you hoped. Try watching Jackson Galaxy on YouTube. He is like the cat whisperer and has a lot of great tips. I watched him often when I first got my cat....


ETA 2 months is a short time. It took my shelter cat at least a year to get acclimated here

Message edited 3/19/2019 9:05:19 PM.

New cat problems

I have to agree with previous poster, cats have diff personalities. Not all are affectionate. 2 months is still way to early especially if the cat is already a year old. We always had an issue with our two when we try to put them in carrier case. You can try using a small can of wet food to try to get then in the carrier.

Re: New cat problems

ok.. so i guess 2 months isn't that long. Every other cat i've ever had has been a kitten and was fine within a week or two, so this is a new experience!

Another friend recommended Jackson Galaxy, i'll check that out too

thanks!