Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

We enrolled DD (5) and DS (3) in gymnastic class at the YMCA. I think DD would like it and I think its good for DS to get out there (he is very shy and socially anxious)
Its been about 4 classes so far and I'm spending the whole class on my feet telling the kids what to do.

The whole class I'm saying to DD:
"stop rolling around on the floor" - they are supposed to line up to do the exercise
"pay attention and watch what the teacher is doing" - she's staring around and not really doing the exercise
"stop running around and pay attention" - they are supposed to stand in line and wait for their turn, but she and another girl are chasing each other around

I'm saying to DS:
"You have to TRY! if you can't do it, its fine, but try" - they are supposed to crawl across the floor (just crawl!) hes sitting there saying "I can't"
"No, thats not what you're supposed to do, do this instead" - they are supposed to walk sideways, but he's crawling
The teacher tries to correct him once or twice then moves onto the next kid in line so I'm next to him telling him to try to do the exercise.
But majority of the time hes just lying on the floor saying "I can't" and sometimes laughing about it.

I'm the only dad in the classroom, the other mothers are either just watching their kids (who are paying attention and listening) or on their phones.

DD has said she likes the class, DS says he doesn't like it but he tries to do tumbles and stuff at home, I think he just doesn't like that its in public.

Should I keep doing what I'm doing or just sit back and let DD run wild and DS just sit there ?

I've told the instructor she doesn't have to be nice she can be stern to DS and if he cries its fine, but she has other kids in the class so she cannot just focus on him

Message edited 12/5/2019 1:49:56 PM.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

No, you should not. That’s what the instructor is for. If they are in the business of working with 5 and 3 year olds, they’re used to dealing with short attention spans.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I wouldn't get involved. I think they'd actually listen better if the instructions came from their teacher instead of you.

They're in the same class? Are there other 3 y/os? Sounds like DS might be a little young for the class.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

No. Stop being a helicopter parent.
You enrolled them in the class to have the teachers teach them, not you.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Let the instructors handle it. I'm sure they don't expect 100% attention or compliance bc that's what's age appropriate for them. I would even ask if you could wait outside the room. Dd does preschool age swimming at the Y so that's 3-5 yos. Some of them are great listeners, most are goofing off now and then, a few are pushing the limits or needing constant redirection but the instructors handle it aside from occasionally telling a parent that they weren't a great listener that day or something along those lines.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

ok everyone, I'll try to keep quiet.

but in my defense I ONLY speak when the teacher is not working with my kid.
When the instructor is busy working with another kid and not paying attention to mine, then I will tell them to pay attention

Message edited 12/5/2019 2:55:32 PM.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Are they in the same class? I would put the 3 year old in a different class, then step back. Is there a parent waiting area? I would wait with the other parents, and chat, or bring a book. Let your kids go into the class and be themselves.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Yes they are in the same class, its gymnastics 1 (lowest level).
There are kids in there that look smaller (DS is not a big kid) and some that look bigger.
All the parents just wait in the studio...it takes place in a studio like those at NYSC - so we're all in the same room as the kids.
The mothers all just sit and watch the class or watch their phones (its a 40 minute class)

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I'm guilty of doing the same thing. I'm glad you posted. :) Good luck. It's hard standing on the sideline...

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I think you need to adjust your expectations a bit. It's okay for a 3yo (and also a 5yo) not to pay attention to the teacher 100% of the time. I just don't think it's reasonable to expect them not to let their attention wander when it's not their turn.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Don’t get involved. I taught ballet for a few years to 5-6 year olds. The teacher knows what to do.

The only way I would get involved is if there were a danger of some sort. Thank God when I was teaching, the parents weren’t there watching every class. But that was 20 years ago.

To make you feel better, the instructor is trained and knows what to do. Just let the kids and teachers do what they need to do.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I get it. It's hard to sit back and not say anything when you see your child not listening or following directions but I think it's important to bite your tongue in this case. Kids need to learn how to take direction from others and they need to learn how to function in a group of their peers. If you keep jumping in you're not giving the teacher an opportunity to demonstrate her authority with the class and teach your children (and the others) how to behave and participate in the class. This is new to your kids right now, give them a little time to get use to the structure and the routine of the class.

That being said, if you find after a few weeks they are behaving the same way and not really falling in line or enjoying it then maybe it's time to think about if this type of class is really for them. I have found with my own kids that even though there might be an activity they seem to enjoy at home, that enjoyment doesn't always translate when they were placed in a formal class or setting. My son use to love to play baseball in the yard and he actually hit a ball pretty damn good at a young age BUUUUUUT when we put him into baseball it was an EPIC fail. He HATED it. He didn't pay attention, he stared off into space the whole time, he made dirt angels in the outfield and he never wanted to go to practice. Needless to say, he lasted 1 season and he was done. So we learned a lesson, sometimes it's best to leave their play unstructured. That might be the case with your kids too. They might like to tumble and roll around at home but it doesn't mean they will enjoy formal gymnastics lessons, KWIM?

Good luck!!!

Message edited 12/6/2019 9:41:20 AM.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

Im confused. Is this a mommy and me class? Why are you in the room? The onyl time I helped my kid was when it was a parent participation class. If not, sit outside.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I agree, you shouldn’t be giving your child directions from the sidelines. Is there more than one teacher? How many kids?
When we took a gymnastics class over the summer I was outside the room. If I saw something in class I didn’t like I went to the manger with my concerns and she addressed it. My concerns had more to do with the teacher than classmates. Kids are going to act out and get antsy, remember they are there to have fun and I wouldn’t take it so serious unless they are going to harm themselves or someone else.

Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

I don't know the set up here and whether other parents are next to their children, but in general at these things where you sit on the side, you should be sitting there and generally not yelling at your kids.

if you feel that the instructor is not paying enough attention to your childs behavior and keeping them on task bring it up to the instructor.
Not saying don't take an interest, just that you're never going to get them to behave if you micromanage their existence.

Honestly at 3 its hearding cats. It sounds like the class is too big or too advanced for your 3 year old. 3 year olds need more attention, smaller classes and they're learning how to behave more than learning how to do any particular skill. It seems that if the class is going to skew that young the teacher needs an assistant to manage the line and help.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

You def shouldn't be in there telling them what to do. Kids are completely different when their parents aren't around. They'll be more likely to follow instructions when you aren't there. That age is rough for instructed activities, but you being there doesn't help at all. It makes it worse and the teacher probably just doesn't want to tell you that.

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?

No, you shouldn’t. Let them learn how to take direction and listen to other adults / teachers. And this is coming from experience.

I used to do this, because it drives me crazy when I see my son being disrespectful or not doing what he was suppose to do. It wasn’t a knock on the teacher but a way of me trying to get him together so he wasn’t disrupting the class. My instinct as a mom is to always discipline and make sure my kid isn’t acting like a fool in public, so when he was small and started Kung Fu, that was my gut reaction. I eventually realized, that I should keep quiet or sometimes leave (lol) and let his instructor handle it. I wanted to teach my son how to respect and take direction from others. Not just me and his dad. This will also help them in the future when they start school! Relinquish the control lol!

Re: Should I be telling my kids what to do in their class?