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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
If it matters, its at a catering hall where they commonly do weddings.
It's the son of my stepmom's cousins- we used to be close with them when we were younger but we dont see them as often anymore. I heard that they are trying to make an effort to have more family gatherings so we can all see each other more often (which I guess explains why I am invited to this bar mitzvah and not their daughter's 4 years ago  )
I know about the #18 but just don't know what range is a good gift from DH & I.
Thanks!
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Posted 4/12/11 2:31 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
You could always give a gift if you didn't want to give a $ amount. A nice chain or earings. Places like Kohls/Macy's always mark down stuff crazy.
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| Posted 4/12/11 2:45 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by FreeButterfly
You could always give a gift if you didn't want to give a $ amount. A nice chain or earings. Places like Kohls/Macy's always mark down stuff crazy.
It's for a boy who I don't really know too well, so I think I'd be more comfortable giving $
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| Posted 4/12/11 2:47 PM |
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jasmine
little boy blue <3
Member since 10/10 1475 total posts
Name:
x
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
we just went to an extended family member's bat mitzvah this weekend (I think I just met the girl that day, but have a good relationship with her mom and a very good relationship with her grandmother). My dad said $100 as a floor, $150 to be a nice gift, or $180 to be very generous. We ended up giving $180...
All I remember from my own is that most friends gave $36 and a few generous ones gave $50 (but we were 13!). I don't remember what adults gave...
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| Posted 4/12/11 2:59 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
I'm pretty sure DH & I gave his cousin $180.
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| Posted 4/12/11 3:45 PM |
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EsquireFish
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 1259 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
As I recall, I think for my last one (two years ago) I did $100 and some sort of itunes or bestbuy giftcard (so he could buy music or games or whatever, as I figured the money was probably going right to a college account).
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| Posted 4/12/11 4:44 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by EsquireFish
As I recall, I think for my last one (two years ago) I did $100 and some sort of itunes or bestbuy giftcard (so he could buy music or games or whatever, as I figured the money was probably going right to a college account).
was that from just you or 2 people?
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| Posted 4/12/11 5:03 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
$150 as a starting point and go up as you see fit
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| Posted 4/12/11 5:21 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
I attended two Bar Mitzvahs for my coworkers' sons and gave $180 each time (for two people). Both times they were in catering halls. I went with a multiple of 18 so that I would be following the Jewish tradition of giving chai. HTH!
ETA: This was two years ago.
Message edited 4/12/2011 5:32:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/12/11 5:32 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Whats 18?
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| Posted 4/12/11 5:50 PM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by Jackie24
Whats 18?
Its Chai, it is has a spiritual meaning in Judaism, sort of good luck! I got lots of $36 dollar checks for my Bat Mitzvah back in 1993!
I saw $150 is probably very generous.
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| Posted 4/12/11 5:57 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by racheK
Posted by Jackie24
Whats 18?
Its Chai, it is has a spiritual meaning in Judaism, sort of good luck! I got lots of $36 dollar checks for my Bat Mitzvah back in 1993!
I saw $150 is probably very generous.
Ok! Thanks!
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| Posted 4/12/11 6:21 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by jasmine
we just went to an extended family member's bat mitzvah this weekend (I think I just met the girl that day, but have a good relationship with her mom and a very good relationship with her grandmother). My dad said $100 as a floor, $150 to be a nice gift, or $180 to be very generous. We ended up giving $180...
All I remember from my own is that most friends gave $36 and a few generous ones gave $50 (but we were 13!). I don't remember what adults gave...
I just went to one too this weekend in North Carolina. I actually gave 136.00 because I was told the number 36.00 was important. It was out of state for us and the whole trip cost us almost 1000.00 with hotel, car and food.
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| Posted 4/12/11 8:03 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
I need some help with this.
FH's second cousin's kid, whom we've never met..
I'd love to avoid cass if we could and get her something we can charge because it's 2 weeks before our wedding.
If cash I originally thought $180, but it's out of state so that seems like a lot. FH said he got very few checks of $100 when he had his bat mitzvah...granted this is going back a lot of years
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:03 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by racheK
Posted by Jackie24
Whats 18?
Its Chai, it is has a spiritual meaning in Judaism, sort of good luck! I got lots of $36 dollar checks for my Bat Mitzvah back in 1993!
I saw $150 is probably very generous.
We just got a $36 wedding check...
It's from someone who is not coming, so it was nice that she sent a gift at all, but I was like.."Couldn't ya make it $72?" 
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:05 AM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
We just gave $300.18 this weekend from DH & I, which I know is probably on the more generous side.
Close "family" (not technically related by blood but we are closer with them than some actual family)
Saturday evening event at a LI catering hall where many weddings are held.
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:14 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by PreshusSmurf
We just gave $300.18 this weekend from DH & I, which I know is probably on the more generous side.
Close "family" (not technically related by blood but we are closer with them than some actual family)
Saturday evening event at a LI catering hall where many weddings are held.
WOW. That's a generous gift!
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:27 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
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WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
thanks for asking this
i gotta go to one on 9/10/11
and i had no idea what i should give
i like the $100 plus a gift card or two idea
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:33 AM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7535 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Wow, my nephew is making his Bar Mitzvah in a few months and wasn't expecting to spend this much $$$ at all.
Thank you for the 18 reference too. I will be sure to incorporate it into the amount! 
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:38 AM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
It didn't cost them any less to have DH and I at the Bar Mitzvah then it would have if it were a wedding. 
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:39 AM |
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VanderZwang
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 740 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
$118 would be a nice gift if you dont want to give a LOT.
$180, or $218 is good as well.
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:40 AM |
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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Wow. I got like $36 from most people for my Bat Mitzvah.
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:43 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by PreshusSmurf
It didn't cost them any less to have DH and I at the Bar Mitzvah then it would have if it were a wedding.
Right. I am weighing this. But I'm also thinking a wedding gift is a gift for 2 people..not 1 person.
Oh..couldn't she turn 13 AFTER the wedding?
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| Posted 5/16/11 10:46 AM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by PreshusSmurf
It didn't cost them any less to have DH and I at the Bar Mitzvah then it would have if it were a wedding.
Right. I am weighing this. But I'm also thinking a wedding gift is a gift for 2 people..not 1 person.
Oh..couldn't she turn 13 AFTER the wedding?
Gifts can be dissected over and over and over again, and each way you look at it you might come up with a different answer or amount.
I think the bottom line is that we each give what we can and what we are comfortable with.
I'm not saying, by any means, that what we gave is the "going rate" - but it IS what DH & I gave as a gift this past weekend.
We were equally generous to the Bar Mitzvah boys sister 3 years ago at her Bat Mitzvah ... but now that she's 16 maybe she'll want to babysit for our twins this fall! 
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| Posted 5/16/11 11:09 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: What's the going rate for a Bar Mitzvah gift?
I have one to attend in June. My cousin's kid who I have never met. It's a luncheon at a fancy place on the North Shore.
I haven't seen my cousins in 10 years and there was a major falling out with us back then. We are just reconnecting now.
I think we will end up giving $180.
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| Posted 5/16/11 12:47 PM |
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