Hunk Of Burning Love: Fanning The Flames Of Passion After Fatherhood

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

One of my dearest friends and her family recently moved into a new neighborhood and home. And, she recently revealed that her kids’s rooms were now closer to theirs than ever before, and leaving her “fearing” perhaps some intimacy distance between her and her dh. And, while she LOVES having her kiddies closer to her, she was wondering if their new arrangement was just a little too close for comfort.

Her scenario is a common one, and perhaps what’s behind a lull in loving when couples start a family. Yet, we all know or have heard, especially if we listen to Dr. Oz how important sex and intimacy can be for our health as well as for the health of our relationship. And, while the women definitely feel the “freeze”, it often takes a harder toll on the men. But mom and dad can still get in the mood especially if dad helps keep the desire burning. Here’s a few pointers for parents, dads specifically.

Mind her mood: Keep in mind that mom’s, especially new moms tend to tire and if they work, it’s likely a double whammy. Still, sexy time can make the list as long as you don’t over-react to her fatigue and her need for some help or for some much needed
R & R. (rest and relaxation) In fact, complaining about her complacency will only kill her mood to be with you.

Redefine pleasure and desire: This is especially essential as kids grow and understand. Sure you may still have a wild side, but you just may have to curb it, YES, even in the boudoir. After all you don’t want the kids in on your little “sensual secrets”. Learn to enjoy intimacy and sex without all the pre-marital, pre-family pinings whilst in the throws of passion. Instead “do you business” diplomatically, quietly, and discreetly.

Trade in criticism for kudos: Moms today, whether they work out of the home or not are up against a lot. Gone are the days when women could “simply” shoo the kids outside to play while they tended to the housework. Today, moms need to shuffle kids from place to place, arrange play-dates, watch what they are watching, boost self-esttem, hone in on their gifts and potentioal, and more; and all while multitastking both at the office and at home.

Tap into your playful, “youthful” side: Kids can make even the youngest of couples/parents grow up fast as obligations and priorities quickly chance and the focus is shifted from you to your kids. Well, use the new house rules to your “advantage”. Instead of using the kids as an excuse to avoid intimacy, make their presence part of the “fun” as you tap into your creativity and spontaneity to make the love happen. Explore your options outside the bedroom and in between “errands”. Last, but not least, learn to savour the “moment” and get satisfactory lovin’ on the “run”.

Embrace your urges: Just because she’s tired and/or not in the mood, at least not as often as your or as she use to, doesn’t mean YOU need to suppress your feelings, while trying to respect hers. Instead honour her feeling, emotions and desires but let her know about yours. Chances are letting her know that you still find her sexy and fetching will make her feel better about herself and about your relationship and it may even “inspire” her to get in tune with her desires (for you) as well.

So, when your lady complains about her difficult day, instead of lambasting her, listen and comfort her, especially when it comes to her concerns and fears about doing a good job and being a good mom. After all boosting her self-image and confidence will also boost her mood, including her sexual mood and her desire to please you.