Twice As Nice: Giving Your Loved One A Second Chance

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Marriage, it’s a commitment “for better or worse”, and sometimes depending on how YOU define worse, life may seem better off without him or her. Still, you “did” pledge your love forever and you probably, despite the fact you didn’t want to listen, were told that marriage means lots of compromises and hard work. This, say experts is what we each have to remind ourselves when we begin to think that life would better off without our spouse, after all how can it get any worse.

Besides choosing our battles wisely they suggest asking yourself the following questions when deciding whether to forgive or forget it.

1. Try to tip the scale in your favour: Put things in perspective and take note of the good times vs the bad. For most say experts, tallying up favourable memories and moments should be relatively easy and the positives should outweigh the negatives. If not, you should seriously consider counseling if you want to work things out.

2. Outside Opinions: While you “do” have to figure things out on your own and figure things out for yourself, experts suggest confiding in trusted friends and family, especially those who have walked down the marriage road before you. They note that it’s likely that these folks have been in similar situations and can help you put things in proper perspective. And, some will be willing to offer their honest opinion about your relationship and your feelings. Remember, while you may not always like what you hear, chances are close connections have your best interest at heart and you just may be too close to the forest to see the trees.

3. Analyze Your Arguments: Experts suggest putting aside your frustration and “rage” and taking a deeper look into the reason you are fighting. Do you find that you are being constantly and unfairly treated and/or disrespected or are the issues “minor” and ones that YOU may have to learn to live with or let go? Again, experts suggest analyzing why you care for this person and what is your drawing you to him or her. Hopefully the answer will reveal whether or not you should trust your partner and attempt to work things out.

4. Look at the overall picture: Try to be honest about how often you fight, why, and how often you find yourself unhappy in your relationship. You also need to take into account his position and his side of the story and determine if a compromise is amenable and possible, as well as why each of you, especially with the way things are, would want the relationship.

Long Island Relationship Articles > Twice As Nice: Giving Your Loved One A Second Chance