Relating To His Relatives: How To Handle Hard-To-Handle In-Laws And Family

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Ever wonder how the man you love ever got to be part of a family you just can’t get along with and simply don’t understand? Well, ladies, you are not alone. Most brides (brides-to-be) ponder how their beloved ever became part of his brood. In fact, most wonder how “he” turned out so normal in such a less than “normal” environment and atmosphere.

And for those of you who may be struggling with dealing with their unexplainable behavior and “unacceptable”, often “extreme” expectations, (for the most part) consider this a sampling of what’s ahead after you and you fiancé become the head of your own household.

Remember, parents despite their happiness are frequently frightened by the idea that their “baby” is all grown up, and someone will be “taking their place and responsibility” for him. Taking control of your wedding (or trying to) is simply one way of asserting authority and keeping “control” of their son.

Despite being dismayed, first try to put yourself in their shoes, and remember, if you can love your husband(to-be) that much, imagine how much more his parents love him, and how difficult it must be to feel like they may be “losing” him or any (good) influence they had on his life.

With that said though, professionals note knowing where to draw the line before YOU lose all authority and control, especially of your special day, and potentially of your (married) life ahead.

Keep in mind that when you marry (your fiancé) you “inherit” his family and all their idiosyncracies. It’s best not to stir the pot with them or your mate, so diplomacy is essential. Experts suggest not only picking your “battles” wisely but lovingly expressing your frustrations to your significant other.

Refrain from condemning his family but instead solicit his opinion and assistance so that he will WANT to “fix” things or at least help out. Remember, he knows them much better and much longer than you do. Even if you disagree with his approach, give him room to handle it/them, his way, but make sure (especially) if you don’t notice any significant changes or sense things are getting “worse” to make your feelings clear, not by venting, (or by threatening to pinch his mother), but by being open with your fiancé and allowing him to see how much they are stressing and hurting you. The more you let him into your heart, mind and thoughts (lovingly), the closer he’ll feel to you and the more (willing) to stand not only next to you (at the alter) but stand up for you before and after the “I Dos”.

Long Island Relationship Articles > Relating To His Relatives: How To Handle Hard-To-Handle In-Laws And Family