The Buddy System: How Your Girlfriends Can Help Save Your Marriage

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Most tell us and we tend to agree that our mate should be our “soul mate” and our best friend, yet, according to experts, our mate should be our mate, and our best friend should be our best friend, at least if we want to have a happy and successful marriage.

Women and experts agree that it’s essential, especially for women, to have someone outside of your marriage that you can trust, count on, confide in, and rely on to talk about and do all those things that your mate may not want to share with you.

In fact, women with healthy outside interests and friendships statistically fare far better emotionally in their lives and in their marriages and both tend to be more successful than those who are housebound and relate only with their mate.

According to statistics most women admit to confiding and discussing marriage and marital issues with a close gal pal and are more successful (via this route) at solving problems and/or working through them. Girlfriends note experts not only listen better than spouses (who tend to want to immediately “fix” everything, but also point out the imperfections of their own mates, their challenges, and are quick to point out another spouse’s positive points and encourage us to take the high road at making it work.

But, besides being good for us emotionally and mentally, having a female confidant say experts also helps improve our health. They suggest that when women see a fellow female (especially one they are fond of or friends with) they are ready, willing, and eager to help and this releases oxytocin, a hormone that is noted for reducing stress and creating a calming effect. In fact, the note, the healthier a social life a woman has as she ages, the less likely to develop physical and emotional impairments.

However they “do” caution against revealing too much and getting more emotionally attached to friends than to your spouse. Experts suggest that some things are simply better kept to yourself and that much of marriage requires the ability to be open and honest with your mate, discussing point of discontent and coming to an agreeable solution. And this mutual resolution will in turn contribute to love, growth and intimacy. And they conclude, the key is balance and the ability to experience both (healthy relationships) in your life.

Long Island Relationship Articles > The Buddy System: How Your Girlfriends Can Help Save Your Marriage