Must the Battle Rage On?: Keeping Arguments in Check

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By Rachel Derry
Staff Writer LIFamilies

Although we all want to believe in happily ever after with a lifetime of uninterrupted bliss; we live in the real world, which can make life messy. Life is full of stressors and anxiety, making life as interesting as it is difficult. Although we’re all looking for marital bliss, because of life, we need to expect moments of stress and of anger. Arguing with your partner or spouse is not some foreboding or ominous sign of what’s to come; arguments are natural, even healthy, for relationships. The trick is knowing how and when to argue, and knowing how and when to step away from battle.

An important first step is to know when to pick your battles. Unfortunately one of our less-desirable characteristics as human beings is the constant need to not only be right, but justifiably so. Because of this characteristic, it’s important to decide when to argue your point and when to just let it slide. Having a difference of opinion will only hurt your relationship if you let it; the opinion won’t hurt, but the argument will.

When you do need to discuss an issue, whether about a difference of opinion or events that have happened/ are happening, try to keep a clear head. Keep the discussion exactly that, and don’t say anything that you’ll regret. Nothing is worse than throwing a low blow just to make a point. Although it may seem worth it at the time, all nastiness does is hurt both side and cause regret. Keep the debates clean and diplomatic.

You also must know when to call a truce. It’s almost impossible to change someone’s mind once it is made up, especially when considering opinion, as opposed to fact. You can both argue until you’re blue in the face without ever making any head way. Know when it is time to call it a truce and agree to disagree. With no winning and no one wrong, an argument can be dropped easily if you let it. Our problem is we take it offensively if our opinion isn't honored. Honor both opinions and let the differences lie.

Once all is said and done don’t be a gloater or a sore loser. Whether an argument turns in your favor towards the end or you realize that you were flat out wrong, don’t let the result determine you following actions for the negative. We can’t all be right all the time; once an argument is over and done with move on and leave it in the past. A little bit of debate can be healthy, as long as we don’t let it cause emotional havoc.

Long Island Relationship Articles > Must the Battle Rage On?: Keeping Arguments in Check