Performance Anxiety: Male Confidence Busters Between The Sheets

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

With most men cavalierly joking that the only ups and downs a relationship should experience is between the sheets, most are reveal that underneath the “rough” and “rugged” exterior they are just as insecure about intimacy as we (women) are. Below are some of their biggest fears uncovered.

1. Am I Man Enough To Be Her Man: As women have increasingly become more confident (and vocal) about their sexuality, there’s no doubt your guy has experienced you (or some other women in his life, friend, sister, co-worker) experiencing a series of “hot flashes” as you prophetically exclaim “Oh, My, God”!!!!! at the likes of Mr. Pitt, Mr. Cruise, Mr. Depp et al strut their stuff across both big and small screen. And while he knows that you don’t “know” these men (at least not in the carnal sense) he’s worried about how he measures up….literally. Furthermore, guys seem to be just as conscious and worried about their looks and bodies as women are. He’s re-evaluating his version of six-pack abs (the kind created by consuming a case of Coors), and wondering if he simply isn’t good enough for you, and if he won’t be able to live up to your expectations (no doubt those he created and continues to create), or if he’s failing in creating a “lasting” impression.

2. Gratuitous Nudity: Contrary to what men have led most women to believe, his primary objective is pleasing you. In fact, the best “sexual” favor you can give your man is “gratitude” and a positive attitude regarding his performance. Men attest that most often (at least initially) that starry eyed look has nothing to do with his burning passion for you, but rather on his intense concentration on making sure he keeps you interested and excited and trying to figure out what’s going on in your head.

3. Too Good To Be True: Physical intimacy is something men yearn for and think about “all the time” but rarely have the opportunity to act on. So, when they “do” (finally) get the chance to “get it on” with their special significant, they are equally as excited about the opportunity as they are by the act, and they don’t want anything to ruin the moment or the potential for this happening again (hopefully soon). They want everything to be just perfect so that you’ll be inclined to do this maybe more often. Still, they are consumed by the idea that “if it seems too good to be true”, it probably is. This little tête-à-tête is bound to hit a snafu or two. What if protection fails, What if the phone rings, or the kid(s) walk in, or perhaps the pet(s) jumping on the bed at the most inopportune time, just about anything and everything can happen to ruin the moment and his chances (with you) in the future. Someone remind him that this is supposed to be fun.

4. The Naked Truth: Though you’re in a committed relationship, he can’t believe this is happening to him (maybe “again”). What did he do to deserve this? Is there something YOU want? There must be. Maybe this is a “reward” for something he did “right”, and what if he does something wrong? Using sex as a negotiating tool is among his biggest fears.

Long Island Health, Fitness & Beauty Articles > Performance Anxiety: Male Confidence Busters Between The Sheets