The Long And Winding Road: Successfully Surviving An Ever-Changing Relationship

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

When it comes to getting advice about sustaining a happy, fulfilling and long-lasting marriage, many of us may want more concrete or scientific strategies for making it last, and making it work. And, now we just may have some. After extensive studies on just how successful couples approach couplehood and much of it has to do with accepting each other’s differences and learning how to be happily individual.

Successful Strategies:

· Happy couples implement bonding tactics such as date nights, family dinners, speaking on the phone, and emailing while on business or during the day, just to keep in touch and keep it fresh, especially when life gets stressful.

· Happy couples respect each other and treat each other with love and kindness, even when they are angry, frustrated, and disagree. But it’s all based on a genuine admiration and appreciation of who each is.

· Successful couples don’t allow frustrations and disappointments to fester or stew. Instead they resolve issues immediately and lovingly and without attacking the other individual or his or her position. When they do argue, they are quick to apologize and mean it, reflecting it in their actions and not just their words. And, when needed they seek out assistance and advice from family, friends and/or professionals.

· They actually appreciate and often embrace each other’s individuality, uniqueness, differences, and ideas and are willing to accept those that seem may actually be beneficial, even if it goes against the grain of what they’ve typically been exposed to or use to. The also openly and honestly express their feelings and understand how important certain issues are to each, each working to make situations better.

· They maintain their autonomy. Unless there’s something seriously detrimental about an acquaintance that conflicts with family and personal ethics and morals, each partner has their own hobbies, interests and set of friends (even if they also hang out together as couples), and each encourages such friendships and helps ensure they are nurtured and fostered. In fact where one partner is “apathetic” or “weak” the other remains strong and encouraging. Having separate lives and interests is not only essential for the individual but for the relationship, keeping it fresh and making sure each partner is able to fulfill his or her separate social needs.

· They give each other space. Each partner being responsible for a different aspect of marital obligations and with each also having something special to call their own. They do not stifle each other, but rather encourage each other to prosper, improve, and grow.

· Both understand that love and the relationship WILL change with time bit that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost or that the spark is gone, it simply means that wants and needs are different, and that maybe a little more effort and creativity is needed to keep the fire burning.

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