Love and Marriage: The Most Common Myths About Sex And Intimacy

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

There’s always lots of buzz about people’s intimate details including how often husbands and wives get together and get it on. Still, while some try to be modest, while others try to boast, statistics show that when it comes to how our sex-lives measure up, most are in better shape than we may think, so long as we don’t get caught up in comparing and buying the lies and the myths.

Tall Tale #1: Mood is the main motivator: While it’s certainly best that spouses both want to spend, ahem, a little time with each other, it’s actually normal for one partner to get less out of the experience or simply NOT be in the mood up to 15 percent of the time. Still, experts suggest allowing yourself to enjoy your romp in the hay as best as you can and if you find that the “tried and true”, just isn’t doing it for you, talk to your mate and discuss trying something new.

A word of caution, of either of you is rarely, if ever, in the mood, this may point to problems and the need to seek the help of a therapist. In fact, it may be pointing to underlying health problems.

Tall Tale #2: Sparks and spontaneity go hand in hand: According to experts the new millennium lifestyle has made it, more than ever, mandatory for us to jot things down, and even set reminders for ourselves. In a fast paced world of schedules, obligations and deadlines, we often ignore what’s not “penciled in” on our agenda….including sex. Make it a point to “pen-in” some time for intimacy, treating it like any other item in your planner and on your weekly agenda.

So, while it may not be super spontaneous, making time for love and cuddling can get the intimacy back in your relationship and you may find that you forgot what you were missing.

Tall Tale #3: The more the merrier: No, not what you’re thinking but instead, the more often you have sex the happier and healthier you’ll be. While having a healthy sex life is vital to a healthy relationship and to a healthy mind, body, and spirit, experts suggest NOT making it a numbers game. Make time for love, and let things happen naturally. And, remember, a healthy sex life means more than just a roll in the hay. It actually includes, hugging, kissing, cuddling and even romancing.

Tall Tale # 4: The longer the better….the duration of sex that is. Not necessarily so, say experts, especially since most of us have the time or energy for sex that lasts for hours. In fact, they say, for many that sounds like more work than fun. They suggest embracing the quintessential quickie, a snack-like “sexcapade” that lets you get on with your day while also boosting your energy, your relationship and getting your back in the mood. Step it up a notch by indulging in “exotic” locations, if that means taking it from the bedroom to the living room or to the shower.

Long Island Relationship Articles > Love and Marriage: The Most Common Myths About Sex And Intimacy