HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

I'm so on the fence about having a baby shower. Here's the scenario; tell me what you would do:

DH and I are moving from VA to CO at the end of this month. My parents are in FL and won't be back to NY until mid-April, which is too late to have a shower for me (I can't fly after the end of March).

My Mom said that if I wanted a shower, she'd fly up from FL one weekend in March. OR, if I decide not to have a shower, she'd give DH and I the money that they would've spent on the shower.

Problem #1: Both me and my Mom would have to have someone pick us up at the airport and then drop us off. My sister lives in Sayville, so if we could fly into MacArthur that might work.

Problem #2: What do I do about the gifts that are big? I'm sure that people can buy that stuff at BRU online and have it shipped to me in CO, right? I'm just worried that the cost of shipping is going to be ridiculous.

And, would it be really boring if people only could bring little gifts to the shower, like things that I could put in my suitcase?

I'm sooo confused....

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

hmmm... It would be kinda sad if you didnt have a shower (if you want one). Maybe you can just do a "out to lunch" and let people know in the invites that you are traveling and ask that gifts be sent to your home. If they know your situation im sure they would understand- people will most likely end up shipping gifts anyway. So would it be possible for you and your mom to come to NY and get a small amount of girls to together for a lunch, just so that you can be with them one last time before you move and become a mom. Im sure they will get small gifts- but if you specify in the invite that you will be moving and would like the bigger gifts sent to the new house- It is totally understandable.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

When I got married I lived in Texas and my whole family was in NY. We had a shower in NY one weekend. I got a ton of big things. Somethings I shipped back and others I took back to Crate and Barrel where I had registered and then bought them again when I got back to Dallas. Kind of a pain in the butt, but it was the easiest thing I could think of without shipping tons of stuff home and spending more on shiping than the value of the item.

So maybe that is an option. Things like diaper genies and all those standards are always in stock and available so you could easily pick them up back home.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

If you want a shower, I say go for it. As far as the gifts, you can return them for store credit if you won't be able to send them.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Could your mom fly into Va and the two of you drive up to NY then drive the gifts home and have the movers move them?

For mine. I drove from Fl to NC picked up my Mom and drove to my inlaws in PA for the shower and luckily Dh drove home by himself and my Mom and I flew out of Philly (both having connections but were on the same flight to ATL).

We had a big F250 with a camper shell so fitting everything wasen't a problem but if it is for you, you could rent a van or something for the drive.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

What if your mom put on the invites that gift cards are needed most, since you're moving so far away. Then in the thank you notes I'd thank each person for a specific item I got with their gift.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Like shelly because of Superstition and cultural beliefs we aren't having a shower either.

If we were too, we would be in the same situation. I live in CT, a good 2 hour drive from LI, it's not a plane ride, but logistically it would be impossible to cart gifts.

my mom is giving us money to purchase items we need. I am sending out birth announcements which naturally would generate people sending gifts. We are also christening the baby early, she will be 4-6 weeks old.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

My mom is also into the whole non-baby shower thing, for superstitious reasons. She says that the big party is at the Christening. It will be impossible to do this though since the baby will be christened in Colorado (we're not going to travel across the country with an infant!) so if my immediate family wants to fly out for a gathering, that's fine, but that'll only be a handful of people.

And I was thinking of not having a shower and then sending out birth announcements. Usually when this is done, my family members send out a gift. But the problem with that is that I'll need things from the registry BEFORE the baby is born, not after. Although if my parents give us money instead of a shower, that might be enough for me to buy the things we need, and DH and I can buy the rest ourselves....

Decisions, decisions.....

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

I def feel your pain, it's so hard when you don't live where your family lives.

The same thing is going to happen for our christening, I have been in CT for 5 years at a good 80% of my IMMEDIATE family still have not come up here to visit. And we are only a 2 hr drive away. Aggravates me sometimes, especially when they want us to come for everything.

My MIL actually thought we would have the christening on LI, uh no, we live in CT

It's so hard! I would take the gift from your mom and buy the necessities before the baby is born and then do the christening "big"party and announcements.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

My friend from FL had the same problem.
People shipped stuff directly to her and just put pics of the items in cards so she could see it - or they gave gift cards. I think she got a LOT of gift cards. Either is totally fine given the situation, IMO.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Well, I think I'll leave it up to my mom....she's almost 70 years old (and both my parents are retired), and I don't want to stress her out. I'll give her all the details, and if she thinks that she (and my sisters) can handle planning the shower, then I'll tell her to go ahead with it. If it's too much of a pain, then I'll just accept their $$ gift and DH and I will buy what we can with that, and then send out birth announcements when the baby comes.....

Thanks everyone!

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

My opinion, I say take the money and buy what you need to buy for the baby. We opted not to have a shower. One of the reasons, majority of the family and my friends moved out of NY and the ones that are still around live in the city or NJ. We moved out East and most of them get lost in a shoebox and think we live SO far away.

Besides we went crazy and bought everything for her already This is just what we chose to do. Best of luck in whatever you decide

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

For my friend, she lived in NC and most of her friends were up here. She and her DH drove up and we threw them a small shower, because there would be no way to plan something for us all to get down there (her mom was in NV and she didn't come out for it). Mostly we just tried to get the word around that it would be best if big gifts were shipped directly to their house. There were some gifts, mostly small, brought to the shower, but the big stuff, like we had gotten her the cars seats, we just printed out a picture from the internet and wrapped that in a small box, just so there was something to open. It made it a lot easier for her traveling.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Call BBB and BRU and see if they will ship your stuff from one store to another then you just have to pick it up at a store in CO. Personally I wouldn't care if people thought it was tacky about gift cards-I would totally understand-also baby showers are really your close friends and family-it's not like a wedding shower where you invite all the women from the wedding and you may not know all of them well. If these are all your good friends, family they should understand and be happy to do something to make things easier for you. Good luck

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

My friends live in GA and her sister threw her a small baby shower up here. We all knew she was flying up here so we all gave her gift cards . She did get some blankets and other stuff. She packed it in her suitcase and the rest her sister brought down when she had the baby.

Re: HELP! What would you do? (baby shower related)

Good thing about BRU is that your gift givers can CALL the local store and buy it over the phone and then YOU get a notification to go pick it up hence saving on shipping costs!!

OR they can just send you a gift card.

I'm not one for being the center of attention so I really didn't want a shower....plus no one bothered to get us stuff off the registry...don't know why I bothered