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I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
SD's boyfriend doesn't have a good relationship with his family. He is a sweet kid, and we spend alot of time with us. He comes to every family event, and we really like him a lot.
We sort of side with the underdog, and he fits into that to begin with
Now, he is sick, and he doesn't have medical insurance. DH and I are concerned, and as dirt poor as we are, we are talking about taking him this week to a medical clinic because he may have strep (both SD's got strep, and its tearing its way through the family...)
I told DH it feels like we have another kid to care and worry about. I don't mind because I really think he is a wonderful person, and I think we are a good influence for him. But its funny how quickly we are multiplying! 
Message edited 9/26/2008 1:44:44 PM.
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Posted 9/24/08 10:23 PM  |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
I'm taking my son's girlfriend under my wing & getting her dental work done....her parents are struggling & I can't deal with knowing she has teeth that hurt.
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| Posted 9/25/08 7:32 AM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
I think thats great  ! It probably menas more to him than you could ever know !
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| Posted 9/25/08 9:15 AM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
I think it is great that you are helping him, but just be sure of all the circumstances. My SD's last boyfriend seemed to be "lost" without a good family support, etc. He was with us all the time, was a good kid, polite, etc.
The reality was that he just didn't like the rules his mother set for him nor did he want to live with his wealthy grandparents because they had too many "rules". In essence, his lack of health insurance, etc., was his own doing. He was over 18 and wasn't in college so they couldn't insure him under their policy. He was diabetic so needed the medicine, etc., but was too immature to realize that his best chance for living well was living with his mother or his grandparents.
Finally, when he was forced to choose between homelessness and family, he choose to live with his grandparents. They are providing for all his needs now & he is in school. He was too young to make good decisions for himself.
We refused to let him live with us and other than steering him toward the proper places for public assistance, etc., we didn't want to continue "supporting" him when he had a family that would have done it.
Good luck - just keep your eyes open & remember, he may just be a temporary part of your life, so try not to get too attached - it will make it harder for your SD when/if they break-up.
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| Posted 9/25/08 9:46 AM |
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
Posted by gpsyeyes
I think it is great that you are helping him, but just be sure of all the circumstances. My SD's last boyfriend seemed to be "lost" without a good family support, etc. He was with us all the time, was a good kid, polite, etc.
The reality was that he just didn't like the rules his mother set for him nor did he want to live with his wealthy grandparents because they had too many "rules". In essence, his lack of health insurance, etc., was his own doing. He was over 18 and wasn't in college so they couldn't insure him under their policy. He was diabetic so needed the medicine, etc., but was too immature to realize that his best chance for living well was living with his mother or his grandparents.
Finally, when he was forced to choose between homelessness and family, he choose to live with his grandparents. They are providing for all his needs now & he is in school. He was too young to make good decisions for himself.
We refused to let him live with us and other than steering him toward the proper places for public assistance, etc., we didn't want to continue "supporting" him when he had a family that would have done it.
Good luck - just keep your eyes open & remember, he may just be a temporary part of your life, so try not to get too attached - it will make it harder for your SD when/if they break-up.
God advice - I appreciate it! Thank you!
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| Posted 9/25/08 9:52 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
You're welcome - I really do think you're doing the right thing - just keep you're eyes & ears open!
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| Posted 9/26/08 8:50 AM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
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| Posted 9/26/08 11:37 AM |
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid!
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place??? 
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
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| Posted 9/26/08 1:44 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
He made his choice, he doesn't go.
Also , being ****** at him tells me that you'rve already become attached to him. Don't become attached to someone who has such little regard for their health. You can't change him.
Also kudo to DH for handling it so well.
Message edited 9/26/2008 1:52:16 PM.
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| Posted 9/26/08 1:51 PM |
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place???
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
He made his choice, he doesn't go.
Also , being ****** at him tells me that you'rve already become attached to him. Don't become attached to someone who has such little regard for their health. You can't change him.
I know Barb - I realized when *I* was hurt what was happening. We like him - he's a nice guy - but I'm sure there will be plenty that will come and go. She is 17. If she follows my path, she will be going thru a lot of frogs....
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| Posted 9/26/08 1:52 PM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place???
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
I guess he doesn't care about being sick and the long term effects strep can have......
ahh she's 17.. he will pass!
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:10 PM |
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by Theresa05
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place???
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
I guess he doesn't care about being sick and the long term effects strep can have......
ahh she's 17.. he will pass!
I know - but we have to still be nice, or this relationship will last longer than it should. I know this guy hides a lot from us - always showing us his "impressive" side, but I dated a lot of guys like that, so I know what he's about. I'd be happier if he didn't hide it, and just let it out, but I guess he did with something like this... right?
Ugh - I would NEVER want to be a teenager again  
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:18 PM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
What's wrong with his own parents that they aren't taking him to the dr?
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:29 PM |
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by Theresa05
What's wrong with his own parents that they aren't taking him to the dr?
THAT'S what i keep asking DH!!!!
SD says his dad is "crazy."
I never hear anything about his mom - he sounds like he lived a pretty decent life - he has a younger brother. His family goes away. Not thats perfect, but it sounds like whiny type of crap, rebellious stuff, more than anything else... but who knows...
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:32 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Honestly I would stay out of it. He's not your kid and I would let his own parents deal with it. It's not really your problem to "fix". Let your SD know he won't be joining you guys until he gets better.
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:41 PM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
What's wrong with his own parents that they aren't taking him to the dr?
THAT'S what i keep asking DH!!!!
SD says his dad is "crazy."
I never hear anything about his mom - he sounds like he lived a pretty decent life - he has a younger brother. His family goes away. Not thats perfect, but it sounds like whiny type of crap, rebellious stuff, more than anything else... but who knows...
Maybe they are related to my inlaws.. Who don't take their kids to the dr
My BIL had strep so bad, it became some sorta of fever, to some sorta of condition to his joints and now he has a perm disease.. alll bc the POS MOTHER didnt take him to the dr's for meds for the throat..
now he goes to the dr for shots and he can't even funtion without pain..
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| Posted 9/26/08 2:46 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Hey you tried ! What a shame - and I would then say, "well until you get yourself better, I don't think its a good idea that you see SD, so that she doesnt catch what you have"
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| Posted 9/26/08 3:45 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
What's wrong with his own parents that they aren't taking him to the dr?
THAT'S what i keep asking DH!!!!
SD says his dad is "crazy."
I never hear anything about his mom - he sounds like he lived a pretty decent life - he has a younger brother. His family goes away. Not thats perfect, but it sounds like whiny type of crap, rebellious stuff, more than anything else... but who knows...
We made sure we got to know my SD's mom for that reason - we couldn't believe everything from an 18 year old! She didn't impress us much, but, turns out he had authority issues as well.
Long story, short - they lasted about 2 years until he moved to FL with his grandparents. They continued to visit on and off for maybe 6-9 months & then moved on.
Although we welcomed him into our home, we refused to provide him with anything other than support/information to help himself. We didn't give him money, etc. He needed to learn a hard lesson at an early age that he was going to have to deal with what life gives him & that adults do ususally know more than him!
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| Posted 9/26/08 4:20 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
I dont know the details but I have "heard" that CVS has a walk in clinic. Nothing major but they will diagnose and give a prescription for meds. You dont have any amoxxicylin laying around...LOL???? We always have tons of cr@p from prior sicknesses.
P.S. how old is he????
Message edited 9/26/2008 5:08:57 PM.
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| Posted 9/26/08 5:08 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place???
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
Ok...can I put a different spin on it? Maybe he got nervous and was too "manly" to tell your step daughter? I mean, some people really, really (me!) don't like doctors!!
I don't know, it doesn't seem like he was "too good" for a clinic or anything like that.
There is a First Choice on my corner and a visit is $75.
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| Posted 9/26/08 6:58 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like we are "adopting" another kid! Updated on bottom... Um- EW!
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Theresa05
can't he get health plus bc he is a student? or medicade?
He's not a full time student, and I'm not sure about medicaid - but get this crap!
We are going away this weekend to Shelter Island - he was coming with us, but we said he needs to go to the doctor before we go, and if he is sick needs medication, or he won't be joining us.
So, I give SD the number to the clinic, she goes with him this morning, their friend drives them. DH calls me to tell me that he "didn't like the place" so he didn't go!!!
He is too good for a clinic all of a sudden????
This is medicenter in Huntington! It's a nice place - i went there for years - my dad, who is wealthy, still goes there if he can't get an appt. with his doctor - who the HELL is this guy? He wears ripped jeans and t-shirts to family occasions with us - all of a sudden he wants some hoity toity place???
DH told SD - "If he cared about you and being with you this weekend, he would have gone. You will learn tha people do what they want to do."
We think he has authority issues and didn't like that we put this on him and placed contingencies on going with us.
I'm really pi ssed...
Ok...can I put a different spin on it? Maybe he got nervous and was too "manly" to tell your step daughter? I mean, some people really, really (me!) don't like doctors!!
I don't know, it doesn't seem like he was "too good" for a clinic or anything like that.
There is a First Choice on my corner and a visit is $75.
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| Posted 9/26/08 7:16 PM |
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