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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:19:17 AM.
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Posted 4/5/09 9:11 AM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by Lisa
BUT its ok for someone on the Parenting board to post how sad it is that we do not have children and (how I read it) how sad our lives much be.
holy crap.
did you even READ my post?
i NEVER said i was sad for ANY of you.
Yes I did and you said you were sad that we would never know the love of having a child....that in my eyes is pity....
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| Posted 4/5/09 9:15 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:19:24 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 9:16 AM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Lisa
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by Lisa
BUT its ok for someone on the Parenting board to post how sad it is that we do not have children and (how I read it) how sad our lives much be.
holy crap.
did you even READ my post?
i NEVER said i was sad for ANY of you.
Yes I did and you said you were sad that we would never know the love of having a child....that in my eyes is pity....
No. She said that she was sad that if SHE didn't have HER son, she wouldn't have known that love.
I don't see how that equates pity honestly.
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| Posted 4/5/09 10:10 AM |
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DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by DonnaJoe708
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
I agree with you on the fact that I do not pity anyone's choices that they make...if they choose to have children or not, that is really none of my business. You put emphasis on fulfilled...so do you think that people who choose not to have children don't live fulfilled lives? Do you feel that way about people who CAN'T have children? I'm not being snarky, I am just curious about that particular point.
Why don't you go back and reread what she said (I quoted to make it easier). In fact, I'll even point it out: she said, "I can say for myself my life has been fulfilled." HERSELF. Not others. HERSELF. Meaning her OWN feelings.
She cleared it up for me. As I said, I was interested to hear her response and meant no harm with my question. Thanks.
Edited for spelling.
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:15:55 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 10:15 AM |
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DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by DonnaJoe708
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
I agree with you on the fact that I do not pity anyone's choices that they make...if they choose to have children or not, that is really none of my business. You put emphasis on fulfilled...so do you think that people who choose not to have children don't live fulfilled lives? Do you feel that way about people who CAN'T have children? I'm not being snarky, I am just curious about that particular point.
No, I meant that by having children, it would fulfill my personal life. Some people's lives are fulfilled by traveling, some by their career. This is always what I, personally, wanted for my life, raising a family. I don't want to speak for anyone else. I never mentioned that life's fulfillment for EVERYBODY is having children. Hope I clarified for you.
You did. Thanks!
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| Posted 4/5/09 10:16 AM |
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Lizzie217
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/09 611 total posts
Name:
elizabeth
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Re: Why do people...
I just read the post on the parenting board and honestly I can see why people would take offense. It sounds judgmental. This may not have been purposeful, but it comes off that way to me. If a CF poster wrote the same thing but flipped I am sure parents would take offense. I am currently childless, but plan on children. I can see why someone who plans (or is forced to) remain childless would be insulted by the essence of the post and most certaintly some (although not the majority) of the posts. The OP did not have to say "I lurk on the CF board" that probably ignited the fire. Perhaps to have said, "when I think about life w/o my DC I feel so sad" would have changed the tone.
ETA: I know the simple response would be that CF should stay off the Parenting boards and Parents should stay off the CF board, but obviously most of us dont have the self control 
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:24:27 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 10:18 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
i saw that post on parenting.. and i think this is where the whole communicating on the internet thing goes bad. We can't HEAR the tone of voice while the person is saying what shes saying. Even though she said "For myself", the whole tone of the writing of the post was of pity for anyone who doesn't have children.. whether it was meant that way or not, thats how it came across (to me, anyway).
This whole thing is so hard. We live in a VERY "child centered" society, and parents will never understand how hard it is to be childless in that type of society. We go to work and listen to our coworkers talk about their children, we read the paper and see pictures of celebrities with their children, we listen to oprah talk about how much she admires moms and how its gotta be the toughest job there is. BUT, for those of us who are childless ( and in my case, its NOT by choice- i am dealing with IF) all we get are comments about " so- are you having children?" " oh, you don't know what you're missing by not having children", "oh- when you have a child you'll understand".... its hard to just swallow that all the time. .. and i don't think we need more posts to remind us of that. IF parents feel that way, thats what FMS are for....
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| Posted 4/5/09 10:21 AM |
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LINewbie
Tigger the the Rescue!
Member since 8/08 5647 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
If people with kids have problems with people who choose to not have kids ... then don't lurk over here. Seriously... it is THAT easy!!!
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| Posted 4/5/09 1:11 PM |
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lainy
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/08 28 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
I never understood this either.... Why people can't be happy with their lives but still appreciate that other people don't want that life. That other person's life is still fulfilled just in a different way.
I think it's crazy that parents get so offended by someone's choice not to have children.
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| Posted 4/6/09 1:10 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by lainy
I never understood this either.... Why people can't be happy with their lives but still appreciate that other people don't want that life. That other person's life is still fulfilled just in a different way.
I think it's crazy that parents get so offended by someone's choice not to have children.
I agree...why do ANY comments or threads need to be posted about people who choose to or can not have children?
One person's happiness doens't fit everyones definition of happiness
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| Posted 4/7/09 1:13 PM |
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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Beaver2be
Posted by lainy
I never understood this either.... Why people can't be happy with their lives but still appreciate that other people don't want that life. That other person's life is still fulfilled just in a different way.
I think it's crazy that parents get so offended by someone's choice not to have children.
I agree...why do ANY comments or threads need to be posted about people who choose to or can not have children?
One person's happiness doens't fit everyones definition of happiness
Two very good points. We need to stop and realize we all have different opinions and we need to respect that no matter if we agree with it or not.
I really hope this doesn't discourage any of the CF ladies from posting their honest feelings. Please know we are all here to support each other. 
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| Posted 4/7/09 1:34 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Why do people...
And THIS is precisely why I rarely post on this board. It really has not become a place where childless families can post and NOT be judged for airing their frustrations, their concerns, or their feelings. It's become a competition between the childless and those with children -- and it's disgusting.
I don't lurk or post on parenting, so I really have NO idea why parents post so much on this board. (Consequently I also have no idea if childless posters are constantly throwing in their two cents on parenting posts...) Of course, you're free to post wherever you like, but it seems like some people just CANNOT let this board be.
I think the fact that there has been so much tension on this board speaks volumes to what many childless families go through on a daily basis.
ETA - And since this was brought up above... I think there are many of us CF ladies who are NOT comfortable posting our feelings here because of this - and I am one of them. I had high hopes for this board, too. Oh well. Onward.
Message edited 4/7/2009 3:22:06 PM.
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| Posted 4/7/09 3:20 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Kara
EA - And since this was brought up above... I think there are many of us CF ladies who are NOT comfortable posting our feelings here because of this - and I am one of them. I had high hopes for this board, too. Oh well. Onward.
Me too and since day one of this board, there are have so many arguments that its really sad.
I do hope that those are offended by what is said on this board, stick to boards that do not offend them and then maybe this will be a happier place!!
Message edited 4/7/2009 3:51:03 PM.
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| Posted 4/7/09 3:49 PM |
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LINewbie
Tigger the the Rescue!
Member since 8/08 5647 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
What makes me mad is the assumption that because you're posting on this board you are never going to have children. I feel so bad that the people who have decided to have kids who are getting their choices questioned by others.
I had high hopes for this boar because there was a good mix of people who didn't have children for various reasons... It's a shame that others are coming in and narrowing the focus. I don't *want* to feel out of place in only board on here that I *do* feel like I belong.
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| Posted 4/7/09 9:38 PM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Kara
ETA - And since this was brought up above... I think there are many of us CF ladies who are NOT comfortable posting our feelings here because of this - and I am one of them. I had high hopes for this board, too. Oh well. Onward.
I feel the same, and it is unfortunate. Whether on the internet, or in real life we will always be judged so we need to bite our lips.
I am happier knowing that there are some out there on this board that are also childfree and that we can talk amongst ourselves about our feelings(even if only thru FM). Before the board, I really had NO idea there was so many on this board. I thought it was just me and 'anonttcer' and that was only because of her name. 
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| Posted 4/7/09 10:13 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by Kara
ETA - And since this was brought up above... I think there are many of us CF ladies who are NOT comfortable posting our feelings here because of this - and I am one of them. I had high hopes for this board, too. Oh well. Onward.
I feel the same, and it is unfortunate. Whether on the internet, or in real life we will always be judged so we need to bite our lips.
I am happier knowing that there are some out there on this board that are also childfree and that we can talk amongst ourselves about our feelings(even if only thru FM). Before the board, I really had NO idea there was so many on this board. I thought it was just me and 'anonttcer' and that was only because of her name.
Yeah I like to make it quite clear what my intentions are! LOL
But I agree- this board is so awesome and I feel like I finally am not alone and not insane or missing some female hormone or just selfish or what have you.
And in terms of people judging- let them.
Who cares?
People will always judge you so I have learned to fly in the face of it.
I personally will still be posting my feelings on this board- unfiltered- and if anyone doesn't like it- well sorry but tough sh!t.
I have never been one to care what others think/say...
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| Posted 4/8/09 9:16 AM |
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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by anonttcer
And in terms of people judging- let them.
Who cares?
People will always judge you so I have learned to fly in the face of it.
I personally will still be posting my feelings on this board- unfiltered- and if anyone doesn't like it- well sorry but tough sh!t.
I have never been one to care what others think/say...
I couldn't have said it better myself!!
I plan to post exactly how I feel, knowing fully well that not everyone will agree with my opinions. I've finally found a place where there are others just like me and I don't plan going anywhere else!! 
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| Posted 4/8/09 12:47 PM |
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imas98
Love my Furbaby
Member since 10/07 1140 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by Kara
ETA - And since this was brought up above... I think there are many of us CF ladies who are NOT comfortable posting our feelings here because of this - and I am one of them. I had high hopes for this board, too. Oh well. Onward.
I feel the same, and it is unfortunate. Whether on the internet, or in real life we will always be judged so we need to bite our lips.
I am happier knowing that there are some out there on this board that are also childfree and that we can talk amongst ourselves about our feelings(even if only thru FM). Before the board, I really had NO idea there was so many on this board. I thought it was just me and 'anonttcer' and that was only because of her name.
ITA I thought LIF was mostly for people with kids or who wanted kids. But I don't post on here either because of the drama its causing.
And 'anonttcer' - I really love your screen name !!
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| Posted 4/8/09 4:20 PM |
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