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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Why do people...
Act like childless families are to be pitied, looked down upon, ridiculed, etc?
Why is my choice to not have a child of SUCH IMMENSE IMPORTANCE to other people?
And for people who think are we "missing" something, I can tell you personally, I have everything I could EVER POSSIBLY WANT right now in my life and that does not include a baby and I am perfectly fine with that take your pity party and BS comments somehwere else!
Sorry, off my soapbox now 
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Posted 4/4/09 11:33 AM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Why do people...
I agree 1000000% with you.
I dont say anything when people have child on top of child but dont have one....and its the worst thing!!
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| Posted 4/4/09 11:43 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Why do people...
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
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| Posted 4/4/09 12:10 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Why do people...
I think a lot of people who do have children feel that for them since it's such a positive experience, they can't imagine their own life without their kids.
I think it's just a matter or perspective, it's hard to relate to someone who's on the opposite side of a situation. People aren't always open-minded either, and don't always want to see things from another point of view. I think sometimes it's best just to agree to disagree!
Nobody likes pity, especially when there's no reason for it!
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| Posted 4/4/09 12:32 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Why do people...
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
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| Posted 4/4/09 2:20 PM |
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jaclyn78
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 635 total posts
Name:
Jaclyn
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
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| Posted 4/4/09 4:24 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:18:27 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/09 4:45 PM |
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DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
I agree with you on the fact that I do not pity anyone's choices that they make...if they choose to have children or not, that is really none of my business. You put emphasis on fulfilled...so do you think that people who choose not to have children don't live fulfilled lives? Do you feel that way about people who CAN'T have children? I'm not being snarky, I am just curious about that particular point.
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| Posted 4/4/09 5:16 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by DonnaJoe708
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
I agree with you on the fact that I do not pity anyone's choices that they make...if they choose to have children or not, that is really none of my business. You put emphasis on fulfilled...so do you think that people who choose not to have children don't live fulfilled lives? Do you feel that way about people who CAN'T have children? I'm not being snarky, I am just curious about that particular point.
Why don't you go back and reread what she said (I quoted to make it easier). In fact, I'll even point it out: she said, "I can say for myself my life has been fulfilled." HERSELF. Not others. HERSELF. Meaning her OWN feelings.
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| Posted 4/4/09 6:45 PM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: Why do people...
I didn't take it as putting us down...i think she's just trying to express the impact her child has had on her life & can't imagine not having him in her life...it's like anything you do in life that you want to share with people...because of the impact it's had on you personally...I've gone skydiving...i'd recommend everyone should go do it...but there are people that would never ever jump out of a plane...and people who may consider it...and only those who have also done it can truly understand what it's like...hopefully i am making sense 
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| Posted 4/4/09 8:40 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by headoverheels
and FTR i also said that i thought this board was a good idea.
maybe not.
unnecessary.
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| Posted 4/4/09 9:12 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by DirtyBlonde
Posted by headoverheels
and FTR i also said that i thought this board was a good idea.
maybe not.
unnecessary.
Agreed.
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| Posted 4/4/09 9:49 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:18:42 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/09 9:56 PM |
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jaclyn78
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 635 total posts
Name:
Jaclyn
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by DonnaJoe708
Posted by jaclyn78
Posted by BunnyWife
So I just read the other thread. As much as those posters can't imagine not wanting to be mothers, I can't imagine wanting children at this point in my life and I'm 30. Don't see my feelings changing anytime soon.
To be completely honest I feel sorry for people with kids sometimes!
I don't want to speak for everyone, but PLEASE don't feel sorry for people with children. I can say for myself that my life has been FULFILLED with having children. Can't imagine any other life.
I agree with you on the fact that I do not pity anyone's choices that they make...if they choose to have children or not, that is really none of my business. You put emphasis on fulfilled...so do you think that people who choose not to have children don't live fulfilled lives? Do you feel that way about people who CAN'T have children? I'm not being snarky, I am just curious about that particular point.
No, I meant that by having children, it would fulfill my personal life. Some people's lives are fulfilled by traveling, some by their career. This is always what I, personally, wanted for my life, raising a family. I don't want to speak for anyone else. I never mentioned that life's fulfillment for EVERYBODY is having children. Hope I clarified for you.
Message edited 4/4/2009 10:00:18 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/09 9:56 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by BunnyWife
Posted by DirtyBlonde
Posted by headoverheels
and FTR i also said that i thought this board was a good idea.
maybe not.
unnecessary.
Agreed.
really? so it's okay for people to post on this board that they don't like what i (or others) have to say on another board - instead of coming over there and stating their POV.
i didn't realize that this board was meant to be a sanctuary for posters who wanted to be snarky and start drama. that's all i meant.
This is something a lot of child free families hear CONSTANTLY. That there is something wrong with us or that we should be felt sorry for. Not to speak for the original poster but I'm sure her post came out of frustration.
Imagine if NOT having children was the norm and every time you went to a family gathering or met new people the fact that you had kids was seen as being weird or in some cases horrible?
Message edited 4/4/2009 10:10:35 PM.
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| Posted 4/4/09 10:09 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Why do people...
Message edited 4/5/2009 10:18:55 AM.
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| Posted 4/4/09 10:15 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: Why do people...
hi all... I really think many of you should re-read that thread on parenting... most parents are not myopic....the vast majority of posters are supportive of your decision to not have children, and appreciate that there are many different ways to have a fufilled life....
on the flipside, I hope you can equally appreciate our perspectives, and can imagine how having kids may be very enjoyable to many couples....
It's really not fair to paint all of us with the same brush... and frankly, it's frustrating to me that some comments are being misconstrued (such as the OP above who commented that having a child was very fufilling to them). Our opinions and life experiences should be respected and taken at face value, just as yours should... Just because we reflect on how we enjoy being parents doesn't mean we're implying that you should have kids too....
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| Posted 4/5/09 1:08 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by wannabemom
It's really not fair to paint all of us with the same brush... and frankly, it's frustrating to me that some comments are being misconstrued (such as the OP above who commented that having a child was very fufilling to them). Our opinions and life experiences should be respected and taken at face value, just as yours should... Just because we reflect on how we enjoy being parents doesn't mean we're implying that you should have kids too....
I agree - a few weeks back there was such a big stink about parents lurking on here, running back to parenting and making judgmental posts, and many on here took great offense and asked that we just back off and keep to ourselves if we don't agree with a particular post.
And yet, here we are, with the same situation, with the same behavior. I'm not pointing fingers at any particular group, wether parents or the parent-less - what I am getting a little tired of is people taking what another person writes personally and defensively, when it was never meant as a personal attack. It started with Ophelia's post, and here it pops up again with headoverheel's post.
We are all entitled to our opinions, to express our thoughts and our perspective, even if it's not the most popular. And I have the utmost respect for those like headoverheels who are able to express, perhaps a controversial opinion, in a way that is not in any way judgmental, just reflective about her OWN situation, just as Ophelia did, on the other side of the spectrum.
I really wish we could just stop dissecting every little word and sentence that everyone makes, and taking it so personally as a direct personal attack, becacuse that's not what it is, and only causes more of a divide.
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| Posted 4/5/09 7:19 AM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Porrruss
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
I actually didn't even read that post. I was making MY OWN statement based on experiences I HAVE HAD lately.
So how about you don't jump to conclusions?
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:20 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Porrruss
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
I actually didn't even read that post. I was making MY OWN statement based on experiences I HAVE HAD lately.
So how about you don't jump to conclusions?
Really? Well then I'm terribly sorry. What an incredibly unfortunate coincidence that you posted when you did. You have to appreciate that.
ETA: your post on The "Compassion" thread is what clued me in that the Parenting thread upset you.
Posted by heathergirl
Childless families are obviously less worthy, as people on LIF and in the media make us out to be.
Message edited 4/5/2009 8:28:48 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:26 AM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Porrruss
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
I actually didn't even read that post. I was making MY OWN statement based on experiences I HAVE HAD lately.
So how about you don't jump to conclusions?
Really? Well then I'm terribly sorry. What an incredibly unfortunate coincidence that you posted when you did. You have to appreciate that.
Wow.
Just wow.
I am so not surprised at this.
Ridiculous.
It's probably beyond you to realize that I made a post about being upset at the way I was treated recently.
Message edited 4/5/2009 8:30:37 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:28 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Porrruss
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
I actually didn't even read that post. I was making MY OWN statement based on experiences I HAVE HAD lately.
So how about you don't jump to conclusions?
Really? Well then I'm terribly sorry. What an incredibly unfortunate coincidence that you posted when you did. You have to appreciate that.
Wow.
Just wow.
I am so not surprised at this.
Ridiculous.
Please read my edit as to WHY I misunderstood. And my wink was light-hearted. Look- this thread was pretty informative and sparked a healthy exchange. No harm, no foul. I apologize for misunderstanding your intent.
Message edited 4/5/2009 8:31:24 AM.
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:29 AM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Porrruss
Is this in regards to headoverheel's post (and judging by your other post re: LIF and families, I'm assuming it is)? If so, I don't recall any pity parties. ONE poster made an ignorant statement and was told so by others.
How about rather than starting threads that will obviously cause discord between the boards, you CONTRIBUTE positively like Lisa did and share your perspective.
OR you could practice the "don't like it, don't read it" mantra that I've heard spouted many times on the CF board to the Parents- which it seems has kept the peace for awhile it seems.
Sorry you're having a bad time.
I actually didn't even read that post. I was making MY OWN statement based on experiences I HAVE HAD lately.
So how about you don't jump to conclusions?
Really? Well then I'm terribly sorry. What an incredibly unfortunate coincidence that you posted when you did. You have to appreciate that.
ETA: your post on The "Compassion" thread is what clued me in that the Parenting thread upset you.
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:33 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Bxgell2
I agree - a few weeks back there was such a big stink about parents lurking on here, running back to parenting and making judgmental posts, and many on here took great offense and asked that we just back off and keep to ourselves if we don't agree with a particular post.
Well that certain wasnt the case with LB's post.
You dont see any posts on here like "did you see that so and so is still drinking from a bottle...at 2 or this one is still sleeping in a crib and he/she is almost 3?"
NO...even IF any of us cared/it bothered us, we would never post something like that BUT its ok for someone on the Parenting board to post how sad it is that we do not have children and (how I read it) how sad our lives much be.
So, if posts on the Parenting board are allowed to make "observations" then so can the CF board.
I never thought I would have to be candid on a board that PERTAINS TO ME and my lifestyle.
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| Posted 4/5/09 8:57 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Why do people...
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Bxgell2
I agree - a few weeks back there was such a big stink about parents lurking on here, running back to parenting and making judgmental posts, and many on here took great offense and asked that we just back off and keep to ourselves if we don't agree with a particular post.
Well that certain wasnt the case with LB's post.
You dont see any posts on here like "did you see that so and so is still drinking from a bottle...at 2 or this one is still sleeping in a crib and he/she is almost 3?"
NO...even IF any of us cared/it bothered us, we would never post something like that BUT its ok for someone on the Parenting board to post how sad it is that we do not have children and (how I read it) how sad our lives much be.
So, if posts on the Parenting board are allowed to make "observations" then so can the CF board.
I never thought I would have to be candid on a board that PERTAINS TO ME and my lifestyle.
1. Thats what fms are for.
2. I suppose anyone could find offense in ANYTHING. I thought that thread was supportive of CF save for ONE post.
3. Nothing wrong with being candid- it's the sweeping generalizations that blow.
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| Posted 4/5/09 9:10 AM |
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