Vent. Need help!

I have worked with the same para in my classroom since the beginning of the school year. For most of the year, she has been GREAT to work with and we have gotten along really well! But...... I lately things have changed.

For one thing, I find that she often complains if I ask her to help me with something in the classroom. It's like she would prefer to just sit there. I never ask for unreasonable things and only ask for things within her job description (help explain something to a student, organize some papers, etc) It's to the point where I feel funny asking anymore and have been doing things myself!

But, that's just minor compared to this - Lately she has been making me look stupid in front of my class! Like, if I talk about something I did, or something I like to eat, she will make fun of it and make it out like I'm weird.. and the kids lately have been joining in! It's incredibly hard to explain, but I am a sensitive person and I have been sensing it. For example I share a lot funny personal stories with the kids that I think they will enjoy... we have a very open free-spirited dynamic in my class (we are a small class). When I talked this morning about a vegetarian restaurant I went to, she went on about how that's disgusting and how tofu is for weirdos, and my kids then joined in saying how I'm weird for liking tofu I know it's a dumb situation but it bothered me that she provoked them.

Above all, I tend to be a nervous person and I worry a lot about things. Well, this whole swine flu thing has thrown me for a loop! I am constantly talking to my kids about good hygiene, I make them use antibacterial stuff before they go to lunch, etc. and I remind them every so often that they need to be mindful of staying healthy, etc. When I spoke to them this morning about it, she started rolling her eyes telling me in front of the class, how I worry too much! Now, I understand she is entitled to her opinion, but that was COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL!

It's almost the end of the school year. Do I say something? I feel awkward confronting her because she is the type who will deny she is doing any of these things!

Re: Vent. Need help!

I feel your pain. I hate to be confrontational but she is undermining you. I think if I had to deal with her for the next 28 days I would have to say something to her, but gently. For instance, this is really awkward but lately I feel....

Re: Vent. Need help!

I'm so sorry, that is an awkward position to be in! I hate confrontation, but in this situation you really need to say something. Do you think you would be with this para again next year? Because if so, she's training you now to take any of her crap and apparently not do a lot of work. What I would probably do is write a list of what I think she does well and then things that I think she could work on (mainly those two things you mentioned). Then, tell her ways she could improve on those unwanted behaviors and why you need her to do so. Ex: "when you undermind me in front of the children, it makes it more difficult to control their behavior", "when you work with X group of children it allows me to really focus on this other group". Above all else, make it clear you appreciate everything she does, but that you need to see a change in her behavior. Then, make sure you document everything- date, time, who was in attendance. This might sound crazy, but if you think she might take real offense to what you say, maybe you could invite your psychologist to sit in as well just so that you have moral support (and a witness).
Good luck! You deserve someone who works just as hard as you!

Re: Vent. Need help!

I would definitely talk to her in private and if she does it again after that, I'd talk to your chairperson about it. I would NOT accept this behavior in MY classroom. Sorry you are going through this : (

Re: Vent. Need help!

Thanks for the advice ladies!


I had yet ANOTHER situation with her today where she said something completely inappropriate in front of my students and when I did say something about it, I was made out to look like the crazy one! So it was basically just like I had expected.


I know the the best thing to do would be to confront her.. after all. . we are all adults.. but it's much easier said than done. I decided since there are only 27 school days left, I will do what I can do deal with it... but I am going to speak to my administration about giving me someone else for next year.

Re: Vent. Need help!

I would get in major trouble with my principal for not trying to work it out with her first and just requesting a new person next year.

I think its wrong to not try and talk to her about it first- even if she doesnt change, then when you go to the adminitration you can say you tried to resolve it but she won't cooperate.
you have to be the bigger person- esp since its your classroom

Re: Vent. Need help!