Can I vent?

I feel like I go out of my way for "friends". I do things and go places that I have no interest in, but do it to be a good friend. But when it comes to doing things I want to do or just hanging when I want to hang out, everyone gives me the cold shoulder. I feel like the eternal wing man, but I have no one that will return the favor. I try not to take personally, but how can I when I see everyone else going out of there way for each other, except me. Ugh, it's just frustrating.

Re: Can I vent?

Move to Brooklyn.

Re: Can I vent?

Re: Can I vent?

I agree.
I was going to start a post today just to vent about something very similar.
I feel like there is just less and less people I can count on these days.
There is an old saying- "If you expect nothing from someone you will never be dissapointed"
I feel like more and more I have to employ that theory in order to not be dissapointed and upset.
It's sad really... I don't get it...

Re: Can I vent?

Posted by baghag

Move to Brooklyn.

Re: Can I vent?

Posted by anonttcer

I agree.
I was going to start a post today just to vent about something very similar.
I feel like there is just less and less people I can count on these days.
There is an old saying- "If you expect nothing from someone you will never be dissapointed"
I feel like more and more I have to employ that theory in order to not be dissapointed and upset.
It's sad really... I don't get it...

Re: Can I vent?

i hear ya.
people expect me to be a certain way and if i assert myself, i get called a b!tch.

Re: Can I vent?

you are not alone..
i have felt this way recently too.. i am tired of going out of my way.. and get nothing but grief in return

Re: Can I vent?

Posted by MetsGirl07

you are not alone..
i have felt this way recently too.. i am tired of going out of my way.. and get nothing but grief in return

Re: Can I vent?

As I get older and see more people get swallowed up in their everday lives, I find this happens often.
I have become spiteful to some of these people.
I'm not saying it's right but it does make me feel better at the time lol.

Re: Can I vent?

I am going thru this now, and the best is when they blame there kids.... so I should always go out of my way for them , friendship is a give and take , 50-50 and I will have kids one day, but I will never do what is being done to me right now.

Message edited 8/11/2009 9:50:08 PM.

Re: Can I vent?

YOu are def not alone, my sister has been going through this for a while now.

She is that giving friend, who is always up for anything, and when its time for

people to come to her they always bail. IMO these people and your

friends should be called out on it, they may not change but at least you can speak your mind.

Re: Can I vent?

I have the same thing going on and it's hard not to let it hurt you because you let these people in and called them your friends...I always feel guilty needing people even though those same people are the ones who call you first and repeatedly...then I feel lonely because I feel like I can't trust anyone since they aren't there for me...ugh...it stinks and I can unfortunately relate!

Re: Can I vent?

DH and I were just talking about this last night. We have certain friends who never contact us, we always need to call/email them to make plans. I told DH I'm not doing it anymore! I'm getting too old for the BS!

Re: Can I vent?

i can totally relate, my dh is always telling me to stop going out of my way for everyone cause i never get it back in return, especially from one friend in particular, and i always say i won't do it anymore but i always do, its just not in me to say no to people but i am really trying, i actually said no to someone just this week

if something is not gonna be fun or enjoyable for you say no just take baby steps, i think the more you do the easier it will become

Re: Can I vent?

The best way I deal with this is to organize them. Seriously!

I have tried-and-true friends who I can count on any time of day, no matter what, who sacrifice for me and vice versa, who I feel are my soul mates. There aren't many. They are hard to find, and I appreciate that.

Then I have all manner of other friends. Some I only communicate with online usually. Some I hang out with every few months, and we usually stick to having a good time, rather than delving deeper. Some work-only friends. Some I know for a fact I can't count on, and I don't make any effort to contact them. If they initiate, I'll entertain a conversation for fun. But I don't put myself out at all.

If I was in your shoes, I might voice my concern about them not doing things that appeal to you - and if they complain, remind them that they called *you* selfish and perhaps that is not the case.

Re: Can I vent?

I totally can relate.


I have a friend who has NEVER been to my first apartment and has only been to my current apartment 2 or 3 times (in the year and a half that I lived here) ........ and she only lives 20 minutes away.

Well, now she has moved into her own apartment and she expects me to go visit it ASAP! She already wants to make plans for me to check out her new place.

Umm sorry, but I think not.


Oh, and this is the same 'friend' who called off our plans once and ADMITTED that it was because she hadn't been out drinking in a while and her friends asked her to go out to a bar..... and felt she would rather do that than have some sober fun with ME!

Seriously, what is the definition of 'friend' anyway? Lately they all stink!!!!!