Anyone raising stepkids alone?

So, DH and I are getting divorced. My SD is now 13 (she has lived with us since she was 6). Her bio mom is not really in the picture. She calls every now and then, but has been pretty much MIA for the last 4 or 5 years. DH and I have a DD together.

DH wants me to keep SD, so that the sisters stay together. I love my SD and we have a good relationship (as good as it can be with a teenager ). DH cannot be the father she needs...he knows it and I know it, so she is better off with me. But, part of me is upset, because she is now my responsibility because both of her parents don't want or can't take responsibility for themselves, let alone for her.

According to a lawyer I spoke with, this may not even be possible for her to stay with me, unless both parents sign over custody to me. They both said that they will. Anyone have any experience with this that they can share with me?

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

I don't have any experience with this or advice to offer but I just want to commend you for what you're doing. It's incredibly honorable to take in "someone else's child" and raise them as your own; it takes a very special person to be able to do that. I applaud the both of you for wanting to keep the sisters together and putting their best interests first.

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin

I don't have any experience with this or advice to offer but I just want to commend you for what you're doing. It's incredibly honorable to take in "someone else's child" and raise them as your own; it takes a very special person to be able to do that. I applaud the both of you for wanting to keep the sisters together and putting their best interests first.

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

I am not sure of the legal/custody aspects of this, so I am afraid I am not of much help. Have you tried looking for internet step-parent groups? They might have more insight.

On a side note, you are doing a very good thing! But I also feel a twinge of sadness for SD -- being 13 is tough enough, and having both bio-parents basically back out of your life is going to be rough. At least she has someone like you to be there for her!

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

I am sorry - I have no experience or advice to offer but just wanted to say that your SD is very lucky to have you being that both her bio parents are not proper parents to her. I am sure this is tough for all of you, but she must be going through a lot having to deal with this.

I wish you the best.

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

I know you dont feel its honorable but it is. You could walk away too. Did the lawyer say you could just be a guardian? Would you adopt her?


Your right, its a sad situation for a 13 year old to be in, and really not fair

Message edited 9/30/2009 11:07:50 PM.

Re: Anyone raising stepkids alone?

I would speak to your attorney about this. You will likely have to petition the court for physical custody and legal guardianship. It is a huge commitment and I am sure you are overwelmed but being with you will make all the diference in her life. Your amazing