I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

I can't stop reading online about MCs, the cause, the future. I know it can't be the best thing for me but I came across something that really put into words what I am feeling and wanted to share it with you.

From: www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/emotional-life/grief-and-loss/coping-with-a-miscarriage.aspx

"Even if you never saw your baby, you knew that he or she was growing inside of you, and you formed a bond; however abstract the attachment, you felt it. From the moment you found out you were pregnant, you imagined yourself a mother — and then, all the excitement of forthcoming months (and years, and decades) abruptly came to a halt. "

Now, I know that everyone here is at different places on their journey. I'm still at the sad/angry stage but I saw this and have started to think, maybe I can take these images and use them as motivation when we start TTC again.

Message edited 10/9/2009 7:11:42 AM.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

That's really so true. I remember reading somewhere after my first m/c that a m/c is a "loss you grieve forward." That really resonated with me.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

Perfectly summed up how i felt. Feel better

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

yes, that is exactly it. I felt just as that paragraph said. I may have been only a few weeks along, but in that moment when I first saw that BFP, my whole world changed. I began to picture myself as a mother and I felt so safe in that future. When it was stolen away from me I felt lost. I don't respond well to being lied to and i feel like that's what happened. It's a tough situation. Hang in there though... the pain does get better over time. I was never the type that just 'jumps back' after a difficult situation. It took me a lot of grieving time to finally accept what happened and I know that I'll be ready to start trying again in no time.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

Just a thought to Ever-Afters post, I personally never felt like I was grieving a member of my family, and I really felt like as something wasn't right with the pregnancy, my body did the best thing it knew how to by miscarrying that baby. I really only felt like I was sad about losing my hopes for that time, my plans were ruined, and I found that very upsetting. But my body knew what was best for me, and I am glad that it happened the way it did rather than going through the rest of the pregnancy when something wasn't right...

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

Thanks for sharing. This is so true!

I know TTC after going through a mc is very scary. This is my first cycle and I am so nervous. It is that visual though that gets me through it too. I will visualize me as a mom....and starting my family. I love to read the BIRTH storys on the pregnancy board and imagine when it will be my turn. That is what helps to to get excited while TTC, and help me deal with all the stress and uncertainty.

That def will help u too!! You will get there, everyday I started to heal a little more.

I am sorry you are going through this. We hate to see new girls join this board. However, we are all happy to meet you - just hate that u have to go through this too.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

OMG you and I are so much alike. Right after my m/c & d&c, I googled miscarriage constantly. My DH had to put his foot down at one point, I was so consumed with trying to find answers and explanations. It's been over 3 weeks and at times I am still sooo angry. I still cry and throw tantrums. But then I look to the future and have hope for what is yet to come. M/C is so difficult Unless a woman has gone through it, she does not understand the emotions behind it. That's why I love this board so much.

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

That's a great idea. I think for me, I have to be able (or at least try) to visualize the "happy ending" or I'd drive myself nuts agonizing. Thanks for sharing

Re: I found this on a website, couldn't have said it better myself.

For all of us here