Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

In years past when my SD was coming regularly we always included her in the family pic on the C-Mas card....Also signed her name on gift tags etc...We even had her name on our return address labels..

For obvious reasons when she stopped coming for those 2+ years, her photo was not on the C-mas card ( can't photograph someone who is not there)....

Now she is "sort of" back in our family, though the visits are still sporatic etc...The chances she would be here to be in our C-mas pics ( my very good friend is a photographer ) is slim and really not something that I would really stress over , nor would I know how comfortable she would be since it is still very fresh for her...The BM would also majorly flip I'm sure ( not out-loud but my SD and ultimately us would suffer for it)...

How do you all sign your C-mas cards...

Do we just put pics of our bio-kids and sign it The O' Family.....individual names including hers ? Without hers??

This is such a silly thing and when she was coming regularly, it all came very natural but after what we went through , some things are still hard

Re: Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

Knowing your circumstances, and the flexibility of your photographer , I would see if you couldnt schedule something for when she is going to be at the house...

Perhaps, as a nice gesture, she could even give a pic from the shoot to BM as a gift....

Then, if that doesnt work, I would definitely sign the card to include her...whether or not she is actually in on the card or not..at least you know that you tried to get her in the picture..

Re: Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

I would make it a point to take the pic while she is there. It's only a big deal if you make it one. She is part of your family and naturally, should be included.

That's how I feel about it but of course, that's just my opinion. :) YOu have to do what feels right for you. I find that BM tries very hard to have a say in what we do with my SS & SD and I do not allow it any more. It got to a point where I put my foot down and completely cut her out of our business. It's hard but you need to be firm. Ughhh I know how stressful it is. Good Luck to you.

Re: Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

I would try to make sure that she was around for the holiday photo. She may feel left out if she wasn't in the photo. Why don't you ask her how she feels? I am not familiar with your situation and I am not sure how your relationship is with her but asking her if she would like to be in the photo and telling her that you and DH would love for her to be in it as well may be a positive outcome.

From your post it seems that she is starting to come around more often so by her not being in the picture she may feel left out and stay away again.

Good luck!

Re: Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

You don't want her to feel left out and not included in the family. I think you should ask SD what she would like you to do. Don't bother asking BM. Find out SD feelings on it and act accordingly.

Re: Another holiday question- Photo cards.....

I would include her in the pic and write out everyones name.